


A To Z

by ThisTooShallPass1937



Category: The Prom - Sklar/Beguelin/Martin
Genre: F/F, Mild Language, Underage Drinking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-29
Updated: 2020-01-25
Packaged: 2020-05-28 18:57:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 26
Words: 47,827
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19400347
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThisTooShallPass1937/pseuds/ThisTooShallPass1937
Summary: 26 shorts, each chapter title with a letter of the alphabet. Some canon, some AU. Some really short, some a little longer. All having to do with Emma and Alyssa. Enjoy.





	1. Assassin AU

**Author's Note:**

> Assassin AU. Alyssa and Emma are older, later 20s. Emma kills people for a living, Alyssa doesn't know. T/W: some violence, but not a lot. Swearing. All mistakes are mine.

* * *

There wasn’t much that Emma Nolan, trained assassin and superb guitar player, could not do. After being abandoned by her parents when she was sixteen and the death of her grandmother shortly thereafter, she didn’t have many options, or any really. Which is how she ended becoming a trained killer, and a damn good one at that.

She knew how to wield knives and swords, how to shoot various types of guns, and don’t even ask about her hand-to-hand combat skills or she’ll chop you in the trachea. She was fluent in four languages and a master at hiding in plain sight.

So, again, there wasn’t much Emma Nolan could not do. Not making a fool of herself in front of her target was not one of them.

* * *

“It’s nothing personal, Mr. Wilkens,” Emma said as she checked the magazine on her handgun. She brought her head up to address her target: a middle-aged, balding man who had sweat dripping down his face and onto his expensive, tailored suit. “You’re a bad man who did some bad things, and my bosses want you gone, so…” she trailed off.

“Please!” Wilkens pleaded. He struggled against the rope tying him to the wooden chair. “I’ll do anything you want; just let me go!”

Emma rolled her eyes. They were all the same, her targets; scumbags who were murderers, drug lords, sex traffickers, etc., that always blubbered like babies when they were finally caught.

Emma shook her head at the man. “See, now that’s the _last_ thing that I’m gonna do.”

“Please!” Wilkens tried again. “I’ll pay you double, no, triple what they’re paying you!”

Emma scowled. “I don’t want your dirty money.” She moved forward until she was standing just a few feet away from him. She cocked the gun and trained it on his head.

“No!” he screamed. Emma put her finger on the trigger. “No, please!”

A sound pierced the air, but it wasn’t a gunshot. No, it was--

Her cellphone?

Emma swore under her breath; she hated it when her boss called her while she was on a job. But the first (and last) time he called and she didn’t answer, he reamed her out and benched her for a month. Apparently, when he called, it was for a reason such as: ‘Hey, the target switched. Don’t kill that one guy.’

Emma had done just that, and it blew up in her face, figuratively speaking.

Emma kept her gun aimed at Wilkens as she tapped the Bluetooth piece in her ear. “Nolan.”

“Hi babe!” Emma nearly dropped her gun in surprise. That wasn’t her boss’s voice. That was— _Alyssa_? “What’s with the greeting? So serious.”

_Wha-How did Alyssa have this number? This was her work phone._

Emma knew her face must’ve completely changed into one of shock because Wilkens began to shout. “Help! She’s gonna kill me! Please help!”

Emma composed herself and pushed the gun closer to the man’s head, shutting him up.

“What was that?” Alyssa asked from the other end.

“TV,” Emma lied instantly. “How did you get this number?”

“Um, you gave it to me, like, seven years ago.”

“What?” Emma clenched her jaw to remain calm; she couldn’t let Wilkens know that this was an unexpected event, although she was pretty sure that he already did.

“Emma, is this one of your pranks again?”

Instead of answering, Emma unhooked her phone from her belt and brought it up to examine, confirming that it was indeed her personal phone and not her work one.

Well, fuck.

“Emma? Is everything okay?” Alyssa asked, worry creeping into her voice.

“Fine,” Emma said harshly. She tucked her phone back into its holder. “Look, I have to go, I’m at work. I’ll see you at home.”

“Okay. Can you remember to pick up some milk? Love you!”

Emma hung up without responding. Wilkens, while still terrified, had a shimmer of hope in his eyes; he had found an opening with this woman in front of him.

“I know you have a heart,” he said, trying to stall for time. “Your boyfriend, or husband,” (Emma scrunched her nose at this) “whoever he was, how can you look him in the eye knowing you had just killed an innocent man?”

Emma tilted her head the side, pretending to think. “Well, I guess my conscience will be cleansed by knowing that you’re _not_ an innocent man.” She stooped low so that her and Wilkens were at eye level. “And I’d like to ask you a question: how could you ever look your wife in the eye knowing that you had just fucked multiple women before going home to her?”

Wilkens blanched. “I-I don’t have a wife.”

“Nice try. I know all about Anna.”

Wilkens eyes widened. He was breathing heavy now. “P-please don’t hurt her. She has nothing to do with this.”

“I promise that I won’t harm her,” Emma replied honestly. “But you’re wrong about her having nothing to do with this.”

“’What do you mean?”

“Well-”

She was cut off by her phone again.

“What the fuck!” Emma shouted angrily. She lowered her gun for a moment, about to answer the call, before deciding to just let it go to voicemail. Alyssa could wait.

“Ar-aren’t you going to answer that?” Wilkens asked, almost desperately. “What if it’s your boyfriend?”

Emma rolled her eyes. “I know for a fact that it’s not my _boyfriend_.”

Her phone stopped chiming. Finally, Emma raised her weapon again, trained it between the man’s eyes.

“Any last words?” she asked.

Wilkens began to sob, his whole body shaking. He couldn’t even speak. After a few minutes, he looked up into Emma’s eyes.

“Please,” he whispered. "P-please don't do this."

Emma put her finger on the trigger, poised to fire—

And her phone went off again.

_Jesus Christ._

Emma let out a growl and dropped her gun back to her side and stomped away from her target. Wilkens continued to sob. The call got to the third ring before Emma tapped her earpiece again.

“What?!” she snapped.

There was silence on the other end, and then, “Uh, everything okay, babe?”

Emma closed her eyes, trying to calm herself down. “Yeah,” she gritted out. “I’m just busy, babe. What is it?”

“’What to you want for dinner? Does Thai sound good?”

“Great. I’m sorry, but I really need to go. Please don’t call me again.” Emma disconnected the call and shut off her phone. She knew that she was going to get an earful from her wife when she got home, but she had to finish this job.

She took her place in front of Wilkens once more, gun pointed at his head.

“Once again, any last words?”

The man calmed himself down enough to speak. “More of a request, really.”

“Spit it out.”

“Stay away from my wife. Don’t hurt her. I’m not lying when I say she’s not a part of this. She was never involved in the business.” He was panting.

Emma set her finger on the trigger once more. “I already told you I wouldn’t hurt her. I don’t hurt my clients.”

She saw the comprehension dawn on his face right before she pulled the trigger.

* * *

An hour later, Emma entered her apartment, carrying a gallon of milk. Alyssa greeted her with a sweet kiss.

“Hey babe. How was work?” Alyssa asked as she took the milk and placed it in the fridge.

“Tedious,” Emma muttered. She glanced up from taking off her shoes when her wife didn’t say anything. “Lys, everything alright?”

“Um, fine,” Alyssa mumbled. She was staring at Emma, fixated on her face.

“What’s wrong?”

“Do you-is that _blood_ on your cheek?”

Emma’s eyes widened.

_Shit_.


	2. Betsy

* * *

Betsy Nolan was no idiot, unlike her son. She may be getting older, and yes, her hips gave her trouble now and then, but her mind was still sharp as a tack and she was observant, thank you very much.

She told her granddaughter to invite the nice, curly haired girl who stayed with Emma after her parents kicked her out to come over for dinner. And Emma had.

Betsy thought Alyssa Greene was a wonderful young girl; kind, respectable, and whip smart just like her, if Betsy could say so herself. She watched Emma’s interaction with her classmate all throughout the dinner and just knew that a connection was going to form between the two; it already had.

Time passed, and Betsy saw more of Alyssa in her home; coming over to work on homework with Emma, helping Emma bake cookies for the upcoming bake sale, teaching Emma some cheers from her routines, she did it all. And Betsy watched her granddaughter fall for the brunette.

Oh, young love.

Betsy wasn’t sure about Alyssa’s feelings, though. It was obvious that Emma had a crush on the brunette, but did Alyssa feel the same way?

Betsy watched their interactions a little more closely, noticed how Alyssa would gaze at Emma when Emma wasn’t paying attention, or the fact that Alyssa blushed for a solid two minutes when Emma sat so close to her on the couch that their legs were touching. Betsy smiled to herself. Yes, she was fairly certain that her granddaughter may have a girlfriend in the near future.

Now, Betsy would like it to be known that she was not meddling with Emma’s dating life; she simply gave the teenager a gentle nudge.

One day after school, Emma came home chuckling to herself, appearing to be reliving something in her head. Betsy was thrilled to see her so happy, but, “What’s got you all smiley, dear?”

Emma jumped, not noticing her grandmother in the kitchen. “Uh, just something that happened at school.”

“Oh?”

“Alyssa blew up peanut brittle in chemistry today.” Emma burst into giggles. “It went everywhere! I didn’t even know it was possible to blow up peanut brittle.”

Betsy shook her head fondly. “That girl is many things, but I’m not sure how good of a cook she is.”

“Yeah,” Emma agreed. “But she’s so smart and funny and kind that I think we can let it slide that she can’t cook that well.”

Betsy gave a knowing smile. “She’s pretty, too.”

Emma snapped her head up to see her grandmother giving her an amused look. “Uh, yeah, I guess so.”

“Well, you were giving her so many compliments, I figured I should pay her one too.”

Emma felt her cheeks heat. She mumbled something about homework and dashed upstairs to her room.

A few days later, Emma came up to her grandmother, who was knitting.

“Hey, uh, grandma?”

“Yes dear?” Betsy replied without looking up from her project. When Emma didn’t say anything for a few seconds, the older lady looked up. Emma was shifting nervously, wringing her hands together. “What is it?” Betsy asked gently, beginning to worry.

“I think I have a crush on Alyssa,” Emma blurted out, the words mingling together she said them so fast. It took a second for Betsy to decipher what her granddaughter just said, but once she did, she smiled, relieved that it was nothing serious, and reached for Emma’s hand.

“Oh, Emma sweetheart, if you thought I didn’t already know that, then you must think I’m really dumb. And I’m slightly offended by that.”

Emma gaped at her. “I, uh-well I just-”

Betsy waved her hand, ceasing Emma’s stuttering. “It’s alright, dear. Now have you told her?”

Emma’s eyes widened and she shook her head vigorously. “I can’t do that, grandma! Alyssa’s my only friend, and she would definitely stop being my friend if she knew.” Emma stepped away, seemingly trying to convince herself of something. “I just…I need to get over it. Yeah, that’s it.”

Emma strutted away and Betsy rolled her eyes. “Honey, I think that’s the last thing that’s going to happen,” she muttered to herself.

A week later when Emma approached her, grinning, Betsy knew.

“Guess what?” Emma said. “I have a date.”

“Oh really?” Betsy responded with a knowing smile. “Does this date happen to be with a cute girl with dark, curly hair whose name begins with A? Or am I supposed to keep guessing?”

Emma was so thrilled with her life right now that she let her grandmother’s teasing slide. “The first one.”

Betsy echoed her granddaughter’s smile and pulled her into a tight hug. “Oh, well done, honey! And I hate to tell you I told you so but…”

“No, you don’t,” Emma said knowingly. “But I’m so happy right now that I don’t even care.”

Soon enough, Emma had a girlfriend and Betsy couldn’t be happier about Emma dating someone like Alyssa. The first time Alyssa came over as the official girlfriend, Betsy was worried the girl was going to pass out she seemed so nervous.

Betsy could hear the two girls talking outside on the front porch as they approached the door.

“Are you sure I look okay?” Alyssa’s worried voice asked.

“Yes,” Betsy heard her granddaughter say in an exasperated tone. “You always look great, and my grandma isn’t going to care.”

“She’s right, Alyssa!” Betsy called loudly from inside the house. “Now will you two get in here?”

The teenagers filed through the door seconds later, Emma looking completely relaxed while Alyssa looked ready to bolt. Betsy wiped her hands on her apron before approaching the brunette and pulling her into a tight hug. Alyssa returned the hug immediately, but Betsy could still feel the tension in her shoulders.

“Hello, dear,” she greeted quietly. “Thank you for dating my granddaughter; I’m not sure she would find someone otherwise.”

“Hey!” Emma protested from across the kitchen.

Betsy ignored her. She kept hugging Alyssa. “And I promise that I won’t tell a soul about you and Emma.” Slowly, Alyssa’s shoulders relaxed.

“Thank you, Mrs. Nolan,” she whispered. 

Betsy rolled her eyes and pulled away so that she could glare at the brunette. “How many times have I told you? It’s Betsy.”

Alyssa’s smiled wiped off and she nodded quickly. “Yes ma’a-I mean Betsy.”

The three of them had dinner that night and Betsy watched the teenagers giving shy glances to each other. She smiled inwardly.

Oh, to be young and in love.

Betsy was around for the next several years, able to witness her granddaughter fall deeper in love. She was there for the ups and downs, and for the whole prom fiasco. She was there for the high school graduation, and then the college graduation. And she was there when Emma came back to Edgewater to visit from New York, wringing her hands and shuffling her feet nervously.

Betsy knew what she was going to say before the songwriter even opened her mouth.

“Grandma, I think…I think I wanna ask Alyssa to marry me.”

Betsy smiled. Yes, she was older now and her hips were giving her even more trouble, but she was still no idiot.

“Well, Emma dear, I’d say it’s about damn time.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the support, lovelies! Kudos and comments always appreciated but never a requirement.


	3. Clothes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Canon. Both girls are older, later 20s. Emma's text is in bold, Alyssa is in italics.

* * *

“Hey babe, have you seen my-” Emma cut herself off as she turned into the threshold of their bedroom to find her fiancée sitting on the bed in nothing but an old pair of cheerleading shorts and an oversized NYU sweatshirt. “…sweatshirt.”

Alyssa looked up from her laptop. “Which one?”

Emma gestured to Alyssa. “That one.”

The brunette glanced down to the clothing in question. “Oh. Sorry, you can have it back.” She went to pull it off, but Emma stopped her.

“No, you can keep it on. I’ll just grab a different one.”

She went to the closet, smiling. Even after all these years, she still got flutters at having Alyssa wear her clothes. It was so intimate and Emma loved it. She could remember the first time Alyssa wore a piece of her clothing; it completely threw her off in the best way possible.

* * *

Emma muttered to herself as she rushed around her bedroom. Betsy was passing by in the hallway and noticed her granddaughter urgently going through her drawers.

“Emma, what’s wrong?”

Emma continued to search under her bed as she answered, “I’m trying to find my jacket, the new green one I just got. I wanted to wear it to school.”

“Oh.” Betsy watched her flutter about her room, noticing how Emma seemed stressed. “Honey, I’m sure it will turn up. Don’t be late to school.”

“I know,” Emma said. “It’s just that…Alyssa really likes that jacket.”

Betsy smiled. “Ah, I see.” She gestured downstairs. “I’ll go check to make sure you didn’t leave it in the kitchen.”

Emma mumbled a reply and went back to her closet. She was determined to find this jacket. When she had tried it on in the store, Alyssa had given her a grin and a wink and dubbed it, ‘Her new favorite part of her girlfriend’, which Emma wasn’t sure how to take. But the main point was that her girlfriend really, _really_ liked this jacket and Emma was dying to see Alyssa’s expression at school when Emma arrived with it on. She was hoping that it would lead to an exciting lunch period in the band supply closet.

Unfortunately, after spending another ten minutes searching through her room (and Betsy confirming that the article of clothing was not downstairs), Emma had to rush to school without her jacket. She racked her brain on the drive, trying to figure out where she could have put it. She had only worn it once, just the other day when Alyssa was over for dinner and studying. Although, not a lot of studying had gotten done that night.

Emma was at her locker getting the books she needed for her first class when she heard Kaylee’s voice echoing down the hall. She brought her head up, knowing that where Kaylee was, her girlfriend most likely would be as well. And she was. Emma saw Alyssa straight away, chatting with Shelby and Kaylee as they made their way down the hall, and she gasped.

Alyssa was wearing her jacket, her new dark green bomber jacket that she had spent the whole morning searching for. And she looked good, really good, even if the jacket was a tad bit big on her. Emma couldn’t even be mad that her girlfriend had stolen her clothes; on the contrary, the knowledge that Alyssa wanted to wear something of hers (even if no one else knew it) sent a thrill through Emma and made her stomach dip pleasantly.

As the trio passed by Emma’s locker, Alyssa glanced over to her and sent a quick smile, a knowing glint in her eye. Emma huffed out a laugh. Oh, Alyssa knew exactly what she was doing.

Emma fished out her phone and quickly typed out a message.

**_It’s funny, I just bought a jacket exactly like the one you’re wearing._ **

Alyssa texted her back right before the first bell rang. _Oh really?_ _Interesting…_

Emma was distracted for her first two classes, unable to get the image of Alyssa in her jacket out of her head. It wasn’t so much the jacket itself and that it looked good on the brunette (which it did), but more the fact that Emma’s girlfriend was wearing a piece of clothing of hers; it was something that girls did all the time with their boyfriend’s jackets or sweaters, and now Emma was getting to be a part of it even if no one else knew besides herself and Alyssa.

Her third class was chemistry, which she shared with Alyssa. The brunette got to the room after Emma and she passed in front of Emma’s desk. She didn’t make eye contact, but Emma knew the reason was to just show off the jacket. The girls sat across the room from each other and shared sly glances throughout the whole period.

Emma sighed; only one more class until lunch.

Lunch came and Emma sped to the band room. It was Wednesday, the day that Alyssa typically ‘tutored’ during her lunch. Emma was just finishing up her sandwich when Alyssa arrived.

“Hey,” Alyssa greeted, a smug look on her face.

If Emma didn’t have her mouth full, she would’ve kissed the brunette senseless. As it was though, she simply swallowed her food before saying hi back.

Alyssa set down her bag before spinning around, modeling the jacket. “You like?”

Emma smiled. “I do. You look amazing. I was planning on wearing it today. I have to admit, though, that seeing you wear it…I um, I really like it.”

“Yeah?”

Emma nodded. “Yeah. Seeing you wear something of mine, it gets me all..." She gestured to her stomach, unable to find the words to articulate how she was feeling. "But I do want it back.”

Alyssa gave a dramatic sigh. “Very well.”

Emma stood and approached her girlfriend. She brought her hands up to cradle Alyssa’s face, bringing their lips closer together. “You can keep it for the day,” Emma whispered against her lips before giving her a gentle kiss.

They kissed languidly, Emma bringing her hands down from the brunette’s face before slipping them inside the jacket to wrap around Alyssa’s waist and pull her closer. Alyssa made a noise in the back of her throat. Emma was thinking the lunch hour was going to be spent just like this, the two girls sharing kisses, before Emma had a thought and pulled away.

“When did you even take it?”

“The jacket?” Alyssa asked, slightly dazed. Emma nodded. “I swiped it right before I left last night. You and Betsy were bickering about Golden Girls.”

Emma rolled her eyes at the reminder. “I can’t believe her favorite character is Blanche,” she muttered.

Alyssa laughed before pulling her down for another kiss. Lunch went by far too quickly that day for Emma's liking.

* * *

That was not the last time Alyssa stole Emma’s clothes, nor was it the last time that Emma got a flutter in her stomach when she saw the brunette in said clothes. After the two were public, Alyssa made more of a habit of taking a sweatshirt of Emma’s or a jacket and wearing it around school or the town with pride.

Emma absolutely loved it.


	4. Drunk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW for underage drinking. Both girls are freshman in college, both attend in New York (shocking I know).

Alyssa Greene had an alcoholic drink exactly once in her life, and even then, it was only half a can of beer. She was fifteen and at a high school party with Kaylee and Shelby, and she really didn’t want to drink, but her friends pressured her into it.

They shoved a can of beer into her hand and Alyssa realized very quickly that she hated the taste and spent the rest of the night holding onto the can and pretending to take sips from it now and then to appear cool.

It was only half a can, but her mother was like a bloodhound and still smelled it on her. She grounded Alyssa for two months. Since then, Alyssa steered clear of alcohol; she didn’t like the taste and she really didn’t want her mother to punish her like that again, especially if it led to her seeing even less of Emma during their secret relationship.

Alyssa Greene had an alcoholic drink exactly once in her life. Until her freshman year of college.

***

She wasn’t trying to get drunk, honestly. But the stress from classes were already getting to her, not to mention the fact that her mother was somehow still hovering over her even though she wasn’t physically in the city. Her roommate and the girls across the hall were all in her dorm, wanting to hang out on a Friday night and Alyssa got roped into having a wine cooler. And then another. And then a couple shots of tequila. Needless to say, by the time Emma showed up to her dorm a couple hours later, Alyssa was gone.

Emma knocked on the door to the dorm, expecting her girlfriend to answer. Instead, she got Alyssa’s roommate, Holly, a tall, kind-looking redhead with sparkling green eyes.

“Hey,” Holly greeted happily. “It’s Emma, right?”

Emma nodded, not offended that the redhead was questioning her name; they had only meant once and that was in passing.

Emma gave her a friendly smile. “Hey Holly. Is Alyssa here?”

“You mean Miss Drunk-off-her-ass?”

Emma’s eyebrows shot up. “What?”

In lieu of a verbal answer, Holly opened the door more to reveal Alyssa sitting upside down on the futon that was shoved into a corner, eyes closed and her face an alarming shade of red. Emma frowned.

“She’s been like that for a few minutes,” Holly explained as the two girls stared at the brunette. “We should probably set her up straight.”

There was definitely a joke in there about Alyssa being anything but straight, but Emma chose not to voice it. She took a few steps into the small dorm room, trying to gauge the situation. She had never seen Alyssa drink before, let alone be wasted. There were a couple other girls in the room, and Emma hoped that the brunette hadn’t done anything too embarrassing in front of them.

“Uh, Alyssa?”

Alyssa slowly opened one eye, and upon seeing her girlfriend, snapped both open.

“Emma!” she squealed happily and tumbled over until she was right side up. Her face slowly turned back to its normal shade (which made Holly breathe a sigh of relief) and she bounded over to Emma, pulling her into a tight hug. “You came!”

Emma steadied herself, since Alyssa did less of a hug and more of a tackle. “I’m guessing you’re having fun?” she asked as Alyssa nuzzled into her neck, placing a sloppy kiss there. She appeared to not have heard the other girl because she just kept her face where it was, sniffing Emma’s hair. Emma tried again.

“Babe, are you having fun?”

Alyssa pulled back, her eyes twinkling. “The best! We should drink all the time!”

Emma chuckled, amused (and slightly worried) at the state of her girlfriend. “Well, maybe not all the ti-”

“C’mere!” Alyssa shouted in Emma’s face, effectively cutting her off. “I want you to meet someones!” She dragged her girlfriend over to one of the twin beds where two girls were perched.

Alyssa pointed to the blonde. “This is Shannon.” The girl nodded in greeting. Alyssa brought her hand around to the brunette. “This is Georgia and-” She suddenly burst into giggles, unable to finish the sentence. It took her several tries before she could finally get it out. “This is Georgia, and she’s _from_ Georgia!” Alyssa giggled again, thinking this fact was the funniest thing in the world.

Emma glanced to see Georgia wearing an amused expression; this was obviously not the first time Alyssa told somebody this tidbit.

“Call me Renee,” the girl said in a Southern drawl. “Georgia is only for when I’m in trouble.” She stuck out her hand, which Emma took. “And you must be Emma. Little missy over here hasn’t shut up about you since she got tipsy.” She gestured to Alyssa, who was beaming at Emma.

“Yep!” Alyssa confirmed, popping the ‘p’. She slung an arm around Emma’s waist and leaned into her. Emma was pretty sure it was because she was losing her balance. “She’s my little butterfly.”

Emma scrunched up her face in distaste and addressed the other girls. “Yeah, she’s never called me that before.”

Shannon and Renee snickered while Alyssa turned Emma. “Do you like it?”

“No.”

Alyssa’s face fell and Emma was genuinely concerned that she was going to start crying, so she quickly tried to remedy the situation. “We can talk about it later, okay?”

Alyssa leaned more into Emma so that her face was hidden in the other girl’s neck. “Mmmkay.”

“So how long have you guys been together?” Shannon asked.

Emma took to answering since her girlfriend was once again more interested in her neck and hair. “Over two years.” Alyssa nuzzled into her even further and began placing kisses along her throat. She suckled particularly hard at one of Emma’s secret spots. Emma felt goosebumps erupt along her arms and she tore herself away before things could get too far; this was definitely not the time nor place for things like _that_.

Who knew alcohol would make her girlfriend more sensual?

“Alriiiight.” Emma drew out the word as she nudged Alyssa away until there was some space between them. “I think it’s time we cut you off and get you some water.”

“Don’t worry,” Holly said as she came over carrying a glass of water. “We cut her off twenty minutes ago.”

“Yeah. She was banging on the wall trying to find the room of requirement,” Renee explained. “We were scared that the RA was going to come find us.”

Emma furrowed her brow. “The room of requirement?” She had definitely heard it before, but she couldn’t remember what it meant.

Alyssa gasped and planted her hands on Emma’s cheeks, smushing her face. She turned Emma’s face until they were looking at each other. “You don’t know what the room of requirement is?!” she asked with wide eyes. “How are we dating?!”

The three other girls burst out laughing. Emma tried to answer, but Alyssa kept pushing her cheeks together so her words came out all mumbled and she rolled her eyes before grasping onto Alyssa’s wrists and pulling her hands away.

“We’re dating because you love me.”

Alyssa gave a thoughtful frown before shrugging. “I guess so,” she admitted nonchalantly before darting into the bathroom and slamming the door shut.

Emma stared at the closed door for a moment before turning back to the still laughing girls.

“Is she normally like this when she’s drunk?” Holly asked. “Cause this is really entertaining.”

“I don’t know. This is the first time I’ve ever seen her drink,” Emma said. “I don’t know…how do I take care of a drunk Alyssa?”

“Just be there for her,” Shannon said. “She’s most likely not going to feel well in the morning; have some crackers and water for her when she wakes up.”

“And make sure she doesn’t go streaking or anything crazy tonight,” Renee added.

Emma flushed at the thought of the brunette running around naked. “Okay,” she said. “I can do that.”

The girls proceeded to share drinking stories from high school until they heard a weak “Emmmmmaaa,” come from inside the bathroom.

“Uh oh,” Emma muttered as she dashed to the door and jiggled the handle. “Babe, you have to unlock it.”

It took longer than necessary, but eventually Emma heard the telltale click and swung the door open. Alyssa was laying on the bathroom floor, face down. Emma knelt down beside her and tried to lift her head up.

“Lys,” she said softly. “You okay?”

Alyssa kept her eyes shut tight as she brought her head up. “I don’ feel too good,” she murmured pathetically.

Emma’s heart broke at the sound. “That’s okay. I’m gonna take care of you, alright?”

Emma maneuvered them so that she was sitting against the shower tub and Alyssa was cradled in her arms. They stayed like that for a few minutes, Emma rubbing soothing circles on the brunette’s back, humming a tune, before Alyssa shot up straight.

“I think-I think I’m gonna-”

But she didn’t finish her sentence; instead she lunged towards the toilet. Emma followed and held her hair back.

It was going to be a long night.

***

It was the sunlight that woke Emma up. She slowly blinked her eyes open, feeling groggy, and glanced down to see Alyssa still fast asleep, curled around her. They had squeezed themselves into Alyssa’s twin bed. The other bed was empty; Holly had offered to go sleep at Shannon and Renee’s so that Emma could sleep in it if she wanted. But Alyssa had pouted when Emma had made her way over to the empty bed hours ago, so she decided to cuddle with girlfriend instead.

She amazingly had gotten a few hours of sleep. Alyssa had stayed up well past midnight throwing up, and Emma had stayed with her the whole time. After, Alyssa looked like she was going to pass out, so Emma convinced her to crawl into the bed before climbing in after her. She positioned herself between Alyssa and the wall, so that the brunette could get to the garbage can Emma had placed on the side of the bed for emergencies.

Emma watched the brunette sleep for a couple minutes, reveling in the peaceful look on her face, knowing that the tranquility was most likely going to disappear once Alyssa woke up with a hangover. Now that the night had passed, Emma could look back and admit that her girlfriend was a very entertaining drunk, if a little handsy; she just had to be sure that the next time Alyssa got drunk like that that they were alone, so that the brunette could do whatever she pleased with Emma.

Emma slowly extracted herself from around the brunette and padded into the kitchenette where she filled a glass of water. She then went into the bathroom in search for some aspirin and placed the pills and the water on the table next to Alyssa’s bed. She contemplated making breakfast for her, but decided to wait to see how the brunette’s stomach was feeling when she woke. Instead, she went and shut the blinds, knowing that the sunlight was not going to make Alyssa feel any better.

Emma sunk into the futon and pulled out her phone, attempting to pass the time. It was a couple more hours before Alyssa stirred. She rolled over and fluttered her eyes open to see Emma across from her on the futon, now reading a random textbook. A little smile pulled at Alyssa’s lips.

“You stayed?” she asked, her voice still thick with sleep.

Emma brought the book down to meet her eyes. “Of course. Why wouldn’t I?”

Alyssa groaned as her head began to pound. “I don’t know. I…I can’t remember everything from last night but I remember enough. I must’ve looked so stupid.”

“You’re not stupid,” Emma told her firmly. She knelt down next to the bed and brushed Alyssa’s hair out of her eyes. “How’re you feeling?”

“Like my head got rammed by a train.” Emma frowned in sympathy. “I’m never drinking again.”

Emma chuckled. “That’s not what you said last night. You were wondering why people don’t drink all the time.”

Alyssa pointed to herself. “This is why; cause you feel like shit afterwards.”

Emma kissed her on the forehead. “If it’s any consolation, you’re a very cute drunk. And you didn’t do anything super embarrassing while I was here. Well, you did try to give me a hickey in front of your friends.”

Alyssa gave a weak smirk. “I guess I just couldn’t help myself.” She leaned forward so that she could meet Emma for a quick kiss. “Thanks for taking care of me.”

Emma smiled. “Anytime.” Alyssa shut her eyes and groaned. “Do you want something to eat?”

Alyssa weakly shook head. “No. What I want is for you to come up here and cuddle me.”

Emma complied and soon the two drifted into a light doze, Emma holding Alyssa and thanking whatever higher power there was that she got to have moments like this with her.


	5. Eighteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alyssa turns 18. Flashback and the letter are in italics. Veronica is Mrs. Greene, Richard is Mr. Greene. Warning: not a super happy one, but don't worry, nobody dies.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All mistakes are mine.

* * *

“Are you sure that your mom knows that I’m coming?”

“Emma, she invited you herself. You’re good!”

Emma was driving herself and Alyssa to the Greenes’ house. The next day was Alyssa’s eighteenth birthday and Mrs. Greene had invited her daughter’s girlfriend over to join them for dinner tonight. The next night was when the celebration was truly going to happen with some friends, but Alyssa mentioned how she wanted a nice dinner with her mom and her girlfriend, and her mother had listened.

Mrs. Greene still wasn’t thrilled with her daughter being gay, but she was more accepting and was making more of an effort to get to know Emma. Just the other week, she had given the teenager a compliment about her good grades, and Emma had just gaped at her before stuttering out a thanks.

Emma pulled her truck into the Greenes’ driveway and turned off the engine. “You ready to finally be eighteen? Ready to go buy some cigarettes and lottery tickets?" She leaned in closer. "To watch some porn?” She waggled her eyebrows suggestively.

Alyssa nudged her away. “No to all of those, thanks. Now come on, my mom said dinner would be at six sharp and it’s already five to.”

The two exited the truck. Emma waited at the front bumper of her truck while Alyssa trotted over to the mailbox at the end of the driveway. She had been getting some birthday cards the past few days. Emma busied herself by scrolling through her phone, but glanced to the mailbox when her girlfriend didn’t return after a few minutes. Alyssa was staring at the pile of mail in her hand, her face blank.

“Did you get some more cards?” Emma called to her. When Alyssa didn’t do anything but continue to look at the mail, Emma grew concerned. She advanced toward the brunette. “Everything okay?”

She glanced down to see the top piece of mail. It was a handwritten envelope addressed to ‘Miss Alyssa Greene’.

“Another birthday card?”

Alyssa slowly nodded, still not bringing her eyes away from it. “It’s…it’s from my dad.”

Emma froze. “What?”

Alyssa gestured down to the card. “The handwriting, it’s my dad’s.”

Emma didn’t know what to say. Alyssa hardly talked about her dad, but Emma did know that he had left when Alyssa was eleven and, as far as Emma was aware, had made no attempt to contact his daughter throughout the six plus years.

Emma swallowed. “A-are you sure it’s from him? Why don’t you open it; it could be from someone else.”

Alyssa shot a look to her girlfriend before tearing open the envelope. It wasn’t a card; it was a letter. Both girls skipped their eyes down past the body of the letter and to the name at the bottom.

_Love,_

_Dad_.

Alyssa stopped breathing. “Oh my God,” she whispered. She had a vice-like grip on the paper, crinkling the edges. “He…he sent me a letter.”

Emma watched the brunette, making sure that she was okay and also to avoid accidentally reading the letter; this was obviously personal to Alyssa and she didn’t want to cross any lines.

“Do you want to read it now?”

Alyssa slowly nodded her head and she began running her eyes over the words. Emma went to move away but Alyssa caught onto her wrist. “No. Stay with me, please.”

The request was said with such intensity that Emma immediately stopped in her tracks. She maneuvered until she was standing next to the brunette again, their hands linked together. She stared at the ground while Alyssa read in silence.

_My Dearest Alyssa,_

_Happy 18 th birthday. I hope that this letter finds you well. _

_I know that I am closer to winning worst father of the year than to the best, but I hope you know that I never stopped loving you. I think about you every day and miss you._

_I know that there’s nothing I can do to make up for what I did, and that you have every right to hate me and not forgive me. But I’m praying and hoping for another chance. Would you be open to that? I understand if you’re not, but I know that I’ll spend the rest of my life regretting it if I didn’t reach out._

_I’ve written my phone number and address on the back side of this paper. Please call me or write if you would like to meet up. I would love to know how your life has been. I have no doubts that you have grown into an extraordinary young woman. I love you._

_Love,_

_Dad_

With tears in her eyes, Alyssa flipped the sheet of paper over to see an address and number scrawled on the back. She clenched her jaw. Anger surged through her as she read the address.

Emma squeezed her hand, calming her a little. “Are you okay?”

“He’s here,” Alyssa muttered darkly.

Emma furrowed her brow. “What?”

The brunette shook the paper violently. “He’s here,” she repeated, venom dripping in her voice. “He lives in Chesterfield. He’s only been an hour away this whole time and he never came to see me!”

Alyssa was glaring at the letter. Emma could see her eyes shining but no tears had fallen. She had never seen Alyssa this angry.

“Oh, babe, I’m so sor-”

“What’re you girls doing out there?” Emma jumped to see Mrs. Greene standing at the half open front door. “Get in here. It’s dinner time!”

Emma brought her eyes back to her girlfriend, who was still staring hard at the paper. Mrs. Greene, noticing that something was wrong, hurried over to them.

“Alyssa, honey, what’s wrong? What happened?” she asked quickly. When the brunette didn’t respond right away, she whipped around to face Emma. “Emma?”

Emma tensed at the pleading in her eyes. She glanced to Alyssa, unsure if she should answer. “She, uh…Alyssa got a-”

Alyssa interrupted her. “Did you know?” she questioned her mother harshly.

Mrs. Greene looked back to her. “Know what? What’s going on? What is that?” She reached for the letter but Alyssa snatched it away. “Alyssa, what-”

“Did you know?” Alyssa repeated.

Mrs. Greene looked ready to tear out her hair. “Know what? Alyssa, you have to tell me what’s wrong! You’re freaking me out.”

“Dad,” Alyssa spat. “Did you know that he was here?”

Mrs. Greene stilled. “What?” she asked weakly. Her eyes caught the paper, saw the signature line at the bottom, and she clasped a hand over her mouth. “Oh my God.”

Alyssa stared at her mother for a moment longer before accepting that she truly didn’t know about her dad. “Dad wrote me a letter; wished me a happy birthday.” Mrs. Greene stumbled back a few steps. “He lives close. Wants to see me.”

“Lives close?” Mrs. Greene echoed. Alyssa nodded. Mrs. Greene opened and closed her mouth several times, not sure what to say.

Emma looked between mother and daughter. She was completely at a loss of what to do. She settled on Alyssa. “Do you want me to go home?”

But Alyssa didn’t answer; it was her mother. “There’s no need for that, Emma. Umm, dinner is on the table for you girls. Why don’t we go inside?”

The three headed into the house and were immediately enveloped in the delicious smells from the dinner Mrs. Greene had made. Emma glanced at the table to see it set for three.

“Alyssa, honey, are you okay?” Mrs. Greene asked her daughter.

Alyssa nodded stiffly. “I’ll be fine,” she said monotonously. “Thanks for dinner, mom.”

Mrs. Greene wrapped the teenager in a hug. “We can talk about this in a bit,” she murmured, knowing that her daughter probably needed a little space at the moment, as well as herself. She pulled back to cup Alyssa’s face. “Why don’t you and Emma eat. Talk if you need to. I’m going to be in my room; I’ve lost my appetite.” She kissed her daughter’s forehead, and with a teary look to Emma, turned and left the kitchen.

Emma looked to her girlfriend. She didn’t look angry anymore, she just looked…empty. Emma glanced down to see that Alyssa was still clutching the letter.

“Alyssa?” The brunette brought her eyes to Emma’s. “Do you want me to leave?”

Alyssa immediately shook her head. “No.” She gestured to the table. “Why don’t you eat and I’ll talk.”

“Okay." She took a seat and paused when she noticed that Alyssa had stayed standing. "Aren’t you going to eat too?”

Alyssa shook her head. “I’m going to tell you about my dad.”

* * *

_Eleven-year-old Alyssa slowly blinked her eyes open. She had been deep in sleep when she awoke to some noises. She glanced to the bunny clock on her nightstand-11:03. Wow, 11:00 was so late at night. Alyssa rolled over, trying to go back to sleep, but she heard the sound that woke her up in the first place. It was yelling; her parents’ yelling._

_“I don’t know how much more of this I can take, Veronica!”_

_“Richard! Keep it down, she’s sleeping.”_

_Alyssa groaned. Her parents had been fighting more and more, but she wasn’t worried; they yelled a lot, but they always had smiles on in the morning._

_“No! I told you, I can’t keep doing this. I’m done!”_

_There was the sound of glass shattering. Alyssa bolted up in bed. Something broke, they never broke things. Whatever her parents were fighting about tonight, it was different._

_Quietly, the girl crept out of her room and to the banister where she could see part of the kitchen. Her mother was collapsed in one of the chairs at the table, her head in her hands. There was a broken wine glass at her feet, and Alyssa could barely hear her crying. Her heart clenched at seeing her mother so distraught. Alyssa strained her neck, but she couldn’t see her dad._

_Suddenly, her father appeared next to her mother. He put his hand on her shoulder as he lowered his head to speak to her, almost to comfort her, but Veronica threw his hand off. She stood and put several paces between them._

_“Just go!” she screamed, not worrying about keeping her voice low anymore. “If she’s so much better than me, than me and Alyssa, your family, then leave!”_

_“Don’t bring Alyssa into this!” Alyssa's father snapped._

_“What? You want to pretend like she doesn’t exist? Just like how you pretend that I don’t exist when you’re with her?!”_

_Alyssa’s mind scrambled to follow what was going on. Was her father…cheating on her mom?_

_“The last thing that I want to do is hurt Alyssa.”_

_“But that’s what you’re going to do, isn’t it? Because you care more about your dick than your own daughter!”_

_Alyssa’s mind whirled. She had never heard her parents yell like this before._

_“Watch it!” Alyssa’s father roared. She watched him pace a few steps before hissing,“I don’t need this. I’m outta here.”_

_Alyssa shrunk away from the banister as her dad stomped to her parents’ bedroom. She heard the door slam. Her mother continued to cry, but she did so silently as she began to sweep up the broken shards of the wine glass._

_Alyssa itched to go to her, to try to comfort her, but she was frozen. She saw her mother lift her head to gaze at Alyssa’s room, which snapped the girl into action. The brunette quickly crawled back into her room and climbed into her bed. She kept her back to her door, so that she would have time to close her eyes if either of her parents came up to check on her._

_After a moment, she heard her mother quietly open her door. Alyssa clenched her eyes shut and willed her breathing to slow. Her mother approached the bed before kneeling beside it. She swept her hand gently through Alyssa’s curls._

_“Oh, baby girl. How I love you so.”_

_Alyssa bit her tongue to stop herself from telling her mother the same; she was supposed to be asleep. After a few minutes, she heard the front door open and close. Veronica’s hand stilled. Alyssa could hear let out a quiet whimper before she removed her hand and left the room._

_Alyssa sat up in her bed after her mother had left. She stared at the door. What was going on?_

_She eventually fell back asleep. When she woke in the morning, it was to find her mother with red eyes, looking exhausted and empty. She let Alyssa eat cereal, which was odd; on Thursdays, her mother always made her banana pancakes._

_Alyssa slowly ate her cereal as she bucked up the courage to ask the big question. “Mom, where’s dad?”_

_She noticed how her mother tensed. She wished she could take the question back. She didn’t want her mother to cry again. But Veronica gave her a strained smile before saying, “He’s away right now, sweetie. But he’ll be back soon. Don’t worry.” She dropped a kiss on her daughter’s forehead before going into her room to change._

_Alyssa stared into her cereal. Everything was going to be okay. Her mother said her father would come back, and she never lied._

* * *

“And that was it?” Emma asked her girlfriend as she sat at the table, picking at the dinner Mrs. Greene had made. “He didn’t come back?”

Alyssa was standing on the other side. She couldn’t sit down. “Nope. That was the last time I saw him. He didn’t even say bye.” She didn’t have tears in her eyes anymore; she just looked drained. “He must’ve come back when I was at school. When I came home, I went into my parents’ room and his closet was empty.”

Emma had previously thought about what reason Alyssa's father could've had to make him choose to leave. Cheating hadn't been a thought. She had a whole new perspective on Mrs. Greene; it couldn't have been easy to raise a daughter on her own for almost half of said daughter's life. Emma pushed away from table before reaching for the brunette and pulling her into her arms. “I’m sorry.”

Alyssa returned the embrace loosely. “Not your fault,” she mumbled. Her voice trembled.

“Doesn’t matter. He shouldn’t have done what he did. He’s not a good man, Alyssa.”

Alyssa nodded. “I know. But I can’t help but wonder…wonder what he’s like now, ya know?” She pulled away and looked to the letter, which was on the table. “He wants to see me. This is different; he’s never reached out before.”

Emma wanted to tell her girlfriend that her father didn’t deserve to see her, but she knew she couldn’t. This was the first time Alyssa had spoken at length about her father. Emma knew that she thought about him often. “Do you want to see him?”

Alyssa immediately shook her head. “I wonder about him, but he had seven years to find out how I am, and who I am. He didn’t take them. And I don’t need him. He can continue to wonder what his daughter is like now.”

Her voice was strong, but Emma made a note to herself to continue to watch Alyssa. The girl was tough, but Emma knew how easily she could break.

“Okay,” Emma said. “Just know that I’m here for you if you need me, for anything.”

Alyssa gave her a small smile. “I know. Thanks.” She brought her chin up to give Emma a quick kiss. “Sorry, I know this didn’t go how we planned tonight.”

“Don’t apologize,” Emma said immediately. “Just tell me what you want to do.”

Alyssa thought for a moment. “I want ice cream.”

Emma smiled. “But you didn’t eat dinner, yet,” she teased. Alyssa glared at her and she put her hands up in surrender. “I’m kidding. Let’s go, birthday girl.”

After telling her mom where she was going, Alyssa and Emma hopped into the latter's truck. Alyssa watched her girlfriend as she drove them to the ice cream parlor in town. She was going to be fine. She didn’t need her dad. As long as she had Emma and her mom, she was going to be fine.


	6. Film AU

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> AU in which Emma and Alyssa are actresses.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter jumps back and forth between two settings, they are split by the ***. All mistakes are mine.

* * *

“Sarah, please don’t do this.”

“You lied to me, Jane! What else am I supposed to do?”

“Let me explain! I was only there to tell her to back off; to tell her that I had found my soulmate.”

“Your…your soulmate?”

“Yes. I’m in love with you, Sarah. I have been since the moment we met.”

Sarah pulled Jane into a passionate embrace. They kissed until it felt like their lungs were going to explode from lack of oxygen, each trying to pour everything they felt into the kisses.

“CUT!”

The women immediately parted from each other, putting several feet between them. The taller of the two reached into her back pocket for her glasses while the other wiped her mouth with the back of her hand.

“God, what did you eat for lunch? Anchovies?” Alyssa Greene groused to her costar. “Here’s a tip for you: pop a mint before you kiss someone.”

Emma Nolan shot a glare at the brunette from behind her glasses. “At least I know how to kiss.”

Alyssa clenched her jaw, but she was unable to defend herself due to their director, Sheldon, bustling over to them. “Excellent job, ladies! Your chemistry is so natural! We’re going to do the kiss again, might add in a few head tilts and close-ups. But for now, take ten.” He hurried away and both women stormed to their respective trailers.

***

“I don’t even know how she landed a role in this film,” Alyssa complained to her two best friends Kaylee and Shelby, who were on Facetime. “She can’t even sing!”

“Girl, you know I’m always on your side,” Shelby began. “But you’re crazy if you think that Emma can’t sing.”

Kaylee nodded in agreement. “Yeah. Wasn’t she on Broadway for years when she was a kid or something?”

“She was. She was even nominated for a Tony,” Shelby added.

Alyssa rolled her eyes, but conceded. “Okay, fine, she can sing. But if you guys spent five minutes with her, you would know that she’s just so-”

***

“Infuriating!” Emma roared in her own trailer as she paced the length of it. Her agent and friend, Barry Glickman, was sitting on the couch, listening. “She thinks she’s all high and mighty because she’s ‘Hollywood’s Sweetheart’ and has an Oscar. Big whoop.”

“She won the Oscar for Best Supporting Actress when she was 17,” Barry pointed out. “You have to admit, that’s pretty impressive.”

“Whatever,” Emma grumbled. “It doesn’t change the fact that she’s as arrogant as they come.”

“Really? She seems so nice and humble. She brought you that avocado toast for breakfast on the first day of shooting, remember?”

Emma stopped pacing. Alyssa had brought her breakfast that day, and it had been the best avocado toast she ever had. But, “Trust me, she’s not nearly as nice as you think. She’s-”

***

“-a bitch!” Alyssa snapped to Kaylee and Shelby. “She told me that I can’t kiss.”

“Ooohh,” both girls said simultaneously from the screen.

“I’m sure that’s not true, Alyssa,” Kaylee said.

Shelby nodded. “Go show her how well you can kiss.”

Alyssa barked out a humorless laugh. “Trust me, I’ve been trying,” she muttered. She looked at her phone when her friends didn't respond to see them giving her mischievous smiles. “What?”

“Alyssa, your little crush side is showing,” Kaylee teased.

Alyssa eyes nearly bulged out of her head. “What?! That’s not what I-”

Kaylee and Shelby burst out laughing. “C’mon, Alyssa, the only time you get this passionately upset about something is when it involves someone you like,” Shelby said.

“That’s not true!”

“Didn’t you go on a date with her a while ago?” Kaylee asked.

Alyssa’s stomach churned unpleasantly at the memory. “No, it-”

***

“It _wasn’t_ a _date_ ,” Emma told Barry firmly. The latter had just reminded the woman of her meeting with the brunette. “It was just…two people getting dinner.”

Barry hummed, unconvinced. “A dinner that ended with you telling me that you _never_ wanted to work with Alyssa Greene on any projects _ever_.”

“Precisely,” Emma said and frowned at her agent. “And look how well you did with that request. Not even a year later and we’re playing lesbian lovers in a movie!”

Barry put his hands up in defense. “Hey, you desperately needed a role and Alyssa was cast after you had signed the contract. My hands were tied.” Emma relented. She knew that it hadn’t been Barry’s fault. Barry narrowed his eyes. “What happened at that dinner that made you despise that wonderful woman so much?”

“She’s not wonderful,” Emma seethed. “She’s-”

***

“-crazy! You guys are crazy if you think that I have a crush on her!” Both Kaylee and Shelby were unimpressed with Alyssa’s protests.

Shelby turned to her friend. “Kaylee, am I crazy for thinking that Alyssa has a crush on her costar, one Emma Nolan?”

“No, Shelbs, I don’t think you are, because I think the same thing.”

Alyssa rolled her eyes at their sarcastic tones. “I don’t have a crush,” she said for what felt like the millionth time.

Shelby echoed Alyssa’s action and rolled her own eyes. “Then why don’t you tell us what happened at that dinner if you don’t care about her.”

Alyssa hesitated for a moment before grunting out a, “Fine.”

***

“Fine. She’s a horrible woman who hunts unicorns for fun,” Barry agreed exasperatedly. “Now will you just tell me what happened at that dinner?!”

Emma clenched her jaw. She really didn’t want to remember, but…

**11 months ago**

Emma had known who Alyssa Greene was for a while now. How could she not, considering the girl was known as ‘Hollywood’s Sweetheart.’ The two had met at a mutual friend’s birthday party, and Emma, thinking that Alyssa was gorgeous, attempted to flirt with the brunette. She was pinging on Emma’s gaydar, and Emma thought that she would take a chance.

It worked.

Alyssa had agreed to go to dinner with Emma the following night, and it had been magical. Until it wasn’t.

“So,” Emma began as the two were finishing up their meals. The dinner had gone splendidly; the two were connecting so easily, and Emma was sure that she could fall in love with the girl in front of her. Emma smiled. “There’s an after-party scheduled for next weekend. I absolutely hate those kinds of things, but I’m ordered to make an appearance. Any chance you would want to go with me?”

Alyssa’s smile slipped. “Oh, um.” Emma felt her confidence waver. “I’m not sure if that’s a good idea.”

Emma tensed, her own smile falling. “Why not?”

“It’s just…I’m not out, Emma. And going to a party with you, it would look…” she trailed off.

Emma frowned. “So, you won’t go to a party with me, but you’ll come out to dinner with me?”

“Well, this can be seen as just a meeting between two friends,” Alyssa said hurriedly. “While at an after-party, there will be reporters and the pap and-”

“I get it,” Emma interrupted harshly. “You don’t have to explain.” She stood and went for her wallet, anger and humiliation surging through her.

Alyssa reached an arm out. “No, please, Emma you don’t have to go. I-I like you, a lot, and I’m curious to see where this goes, and-”

Emma scoffed. “Oh, so you want me to be your dirty little secret?”

“What? No, Emma, that’s not what I-”

Emma fished out some bills from her wallet and threw them on the table. “If you can’t be with me in public, then you can’t be with me at all.” With that, she stormed away from the table.

**Present Day**

“Wait,” Kaylee said after Alyssa had finished recounting the meeting with them. “Emma wanted to go on a date with you, and you said no, even though you were already on one?”

“I didn’t know it was a date until the middle of it!” Alyssa defended.

“Yeah, but weren’t you hoping it was one the whole time?” Shelby questioned.

“...maybe,” Alyssa admitted sheepishly.

“And you really liked Emma, but felt like you couldn’t be with her because you weren’t out yet?” Alyssa nodded.

“Girl!” Kaylee yelled. “You’re out now! If you still like her, go get her!”

Alyssa’s shoulders slumped, not even denying how she felt anymore. “I highly doubt that she still likes me. I basically told her no.”

“That was then, and this is now,” Shelby pointed out. “Plus, I feel the majority of this situation is bad just cause of-”

***

“Miscommunication,” Barry said. “I think that whole dinner was miscommunication.”

Emma glared at him. “She said she didn’t want to be with me, Barry. How could I have misinterpreted that?”

“She didn’t say that she didn’t want to be with you. She said that she wasn’t out.”

“And I wasn’t about to date somebody in the closet!”

“I know, and I respect that,” Barry rushed out. “But she’s not in the closet anymore. Did you ever stop to think that she’s been trying to be nice to you now and tell you that she likes you? That she wants another chance?”

Emma furrowed her brow. “What?”

“Oh, you useless lesbian-”

“Hey!”

“Alyssa has been bringing you breakfast, and giving you compliments, and has been genuinely trying to get to know you, and you keep shooting her down!”

Emma winced. “I thought she was taunting me or something.”

Barry pointed an accusatory finger at her. “This is just you having a bruised ego. You took her telling you that she wasn’t ready to be out as a dig at you.”

“Because it was!”

“No, it wasn’t. It was her not having the courage to let the world know who she really was yet. But guess what? She’s there now! I’m positive that she would go on a date with you if you asked her now.”

Emma bit her lip guiltily. “Not likely.”

Barry gave a tired sigh. “What did you do?”

***

“What did she do?” Kaylee asked. “Did she hit you or something?”

Alyssa reeled back. “What? No, nothing like that. She’s just been giving me the cold shoulder this whole time. I-I’ve brought her breakfast and complimented her and everything and she keeps brushing me off.”

“She’s probably embarrassed,” Shelby said. “You told her no at that dinner months ago. Why would she assume that you changed your mind now?”

“Because I have!”

“Okay!” Kaylee yelled, getting the attention of the other two. “What’s in the past is past; you can’t change it. But you can take control of what’s going on now. You and Emma went out for dinner months ago, she asked you to go to a party, and you said no cause you weren’t out yet. She took it personally. You two see each other again and you’re now an out and proud lesbian, so you try to flirt with her, let her know that you do care. And she’s brushing you off so then you get angry and play the same game.”

Alyssa blushed. It was scary how accurate that description was.

“So,” Kaylee continued. “to round things up: you guys are being-”

***

“Immature,” Barry muttered, shaking his head. “You’re both immature idiots. You both like each other and want to make lesbian babies or whatever-” Emma blushed at that. “-but you guys are both too proud and arrogant to put the past aside.”

“She’s the one who was being a bitch this morning,” Emma mumbled.

“Because you’ve been a bitch for the past seven weeks,” Barry said bluntly.

Just then, a knock came on her trailer door. “Miss Nolan,” a voice came from the other side. “You’re needed back on set.”

“Okay, thanks.”

Emma made her way towards the door, but Barry stopped her. “Talk to her,” he said quietly. “Be nice to her.”

Emma nodded. “Okay, I will.”

“And for God’s sake, just go out on a date already!”

***

“Just ask her out already!” Shelby implored Alyssa as the girl was getting ready to go back to set. “Tell her how you’ve been feeling.”

“Yeah! And just plant one on her!” Kaylee added.

Alyssa rolled her eyes at her friend’s bluntness, but smiled nonetheless. “Alright, I’ll talk to you guys soon. Love ya.”

***

Alyssa got to set after Emma. She spotted the other woman standing near the director. Alyssa took a steadying breath and approached her.

“Hey,” she greeted and gave one of her megawatt smiles. “H-how were your ten minutes?”

Emma pursed her lips, her eyes studying Alyssa. “Fine.”

When she didn’t say anything else, Alyssa looked to the ground. Well, so much for that. There was no way Emma was going to forgive her for what she did all those months ago, even if she hadn’t really done anything.

A moment of awkward silence passed before Emma cleared her throat. “I uh, I have a mint.”

Alyssa snapped her head up. “What?” she asked, hope lining her voice. Conversation, this was good.

Emma brought her hand out of her pocket to show the brunette a tin of Altoids. She shook it, rattling the contents inside.

“I have some mints. Do you want one?” The question was asked innocently, with no mocking.

Alyssa grinned, thrilled at the olive branch. “Sure." She popped the offering in her mouth and Emma did the same, the two sharing a small smile. Alyssa thought back to their earlier conversation. "Maybe you can teach me how to kiss properly later.” She winked.

Emma blushed and Alyssa giggled. Maybe her friends were right after all.


	7. Ghost AU

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A short one. I can't take credit for the prompt; I saw it on Pinterest somewhere!

* * *

Alyssa Greene was positive that she and Emma Nolan would have been friends. ‘Would have been’ being the operative words, since Emma could not see, hear, or touch Alyssa. Alyssa was a ghost, and had been a ghost for several years by the time Emma popped into her afterlife. She was immediately enraptured by the college student and would sometimes watch her from her afar as she strutted across the campus.

Emma wasn’t the first living human to catch Alyssa’s eye, and even though the brunette knew that Emma couldn’t see her, she kept her distance and never did something weird like follow the girl into her dorm room or the bathroom. Stalking was creepy no matter what point of life-or afterlife- a person was in.

But Alyssa didn’t consider it stalking if she sat on the roof of Emma’s dorm building and listened to the soothing music from Emma’s guitar that floated out of the latter’s open window a floor below. Emma really was quite talented. And she obviously loved her grandmother.

Alyssa had heard the college student on the phone with her grandmother several times. She would usually be sprawled on the lawn a few yards away from Emma, and always noted how soft Emma’s voice got as she spoke to Betsy. There was a deep love there.

Emma was also unapologetically herself, which Alyssa admired. There were too many people in the world who were too scared to say what they truly wanted, and be who they truly were. Alyssa had been that way when she was alive, and she regretted it now; how she wished she had the courage to kiss a girl before she passed.

Alyssa attended Emma’s first open mic night at the student center, and she joined in the applause at the end of Emma’s song, even though she knew that Emma would never hear it. She was magnificent.

Alyssa gave a sigh; she and Emma would have been _best_ friends.

The brunette’s thoughts on friendship shifted slightly when she saw Emma kissing a girl outside of her dorm building one night. Alyssa’s sure her heart would’ve stopped at the knowledge that Emma was open to dating girls, if it wasn’t stopped already. Scratch what Alyssa had thought before; Emma and her would’ve been _girlfriends_ , if she were actually alive.

Alyssa became a little careless after that, following Emma a little closer as she strode from class to class. Humming along to the tune as she listened to Emma’s music from the rooftop. Stopping on her journey to the science building basement where she enjoyed scaring freshman to sit on the bench right outside of Emma’s dorm building so she could watch the fight that broke out between Emma and her possible girlfriend, which led to the two not speaking to each other.

Alyssa knew that she shouldn’t feel good about the fact that Emma was definitely single now, but she did; Emma deserved better than whatever-her-name-was.

Alyssa should’ve been more careful, but she just wanted to get to know Emma a bit more. She had never found a person more interesting, in either life. She should’ve been more careful, but she had never been seen by a living person, including her distraught mother whom she had tried to contact multiple times to no success. So, she didn’t think much of it when she was walking behind Emma one day and the latter suddenly whirled around and snarled, “Why do you keep following me?”

Alyssa glanced over her shoulder, ready to shout insults at the perpetrator, though they wouldn’t hear her; how dare someone make Emma feel uncomfortable! But there was no one there. Furrowing her brow, she turned back to see Emma glaring right at her.

“Hello? Did you hear me?” Emma said. “Why do you keep following me?”

Alyssa was confused. “Who’re you talking to?” she asked, knowing that Emma couldn’t hear her but hoping that her question would lead to an answer anyway.

“You!” Emma snapped.

Alyssa froze. That didn’t make sense. She turned around again, but there was still no one behind her. Who was it that Emma was glaring at? Alyssa was so confused, but Emma was looking into her eyes and-

Alyssa felt her mind reel. “Ca-you can see me?”

Emma looked at her as if she grew three heads. “Yeaaahhhh. So, will you tell me why you keep following me?”

Alyssa blinked.

_Well, shit._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Should I continue this?


	8. Hickey

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay in update. Enjoy.

* * *

Emma was not a morning person. As such, she prided herself on sleeping in until the very last possible second before she would inevitably have to rush through her morning routine in order to make it to school on time. Normally, she would look a little closer in the mirror before leaving. But she woke up ten minutes later than her usual time and just gave herself a cursory glance before dashing out of the house and to her truck.

Big mistake.

Emma didn’t even notice the stares from her fellow classmates as she wandered down the hall. It wasn’t until Kaylee and Shelby stopped at her locker that Emma realized something was wrong.

“Whoa,” Shelby said when she looked at Emma. “Who knew little miss perfect had it in her?”

“What’re you talking about?” Emma asked her friends. It was still a little weird that they were friends now; Emma flat out didn’t trust them for the first month after she and Alyssa came out publicly, but the two brunettes had been nothing if not supportive…and teasers.

Kaylee giggled. “I think she’s talking about the giant ‘burn’ on your neck.”

Emma furrowed her brow, before her eyes widened in realization and she slapped a hand to her neck. Heat flooded her cheeks. “Wha-how-I mean-”

Shelby’s laugh drowned out Emma’s sputtering. “Safe to say you guys are enjoying each other’s company?”

“Shut up,” Emma muttered as she turned back to her open locker. She knew her blush was just getting worse and this seemed like a good place to hide.

“Hey, Shelby, maybe we should just ask Alyssa herself,” Kaylee suggested. “Since she’s on her way over here.”

Emma whipped her head out of her locker to see her girlfriend making her way over to them through the throng of high schoolers. Emma shut her locker and brushed past the two other girls to approach Alyssa.

“Morning ba- what’s wrong?”

Emma had latched onto the brunette’s wrist and spun her around before dragging her away from Kaylee and Shelby, who were both wearing smirks. Alyssa was led into the bathroom, which was thankfully empty, before Emma turned to her.

She pointed to her neck. “What is this?”

Alyssa dropped her eyes to her girlfriend’s neck and raised her eyebrows. “Uh, I think it’s a hickey.” The mark was deep in color and fairly large; it almost looked proud. Alyssa smirked. “Looks like a damn good one, too.”

Emma smacked her in the arm. “This isn’t funny! I thought we had agreed, no hickeys where people can see.”

Alyssa just smirked again. “You and I both know that I follow that rule.”

Emma ignored the heat that pooled low in her stomach at Alyssa's look and pointed to her neck again. “Not this time! Please tell me that you have some cover up. I can’t go through today with this.”

“Why not? I think it’s kinda hot.” Emma glared at her and Alyssa relented. She dug around in her bag before pulling out a small makeup kit. “Here, hope it works.” She watched as Emma turned to the mirror and began attempting to cover up the mark.

Alyssa really hadn’t meant to leave a hickey. She just got caught up in the moment sometimes, which had been happening with more frequency as of late. Ever since she had come out publicly, and everyone knew about her and Emma, including her mother, the brunette felt so happy; felt so free.

She stepped up behind her girlfriend and slipped her arms around Emma’s waist. Emma paused in her task as the brunette rested her chin on Emma’s shoulder.

“I really, really like you,” Alyssa whispered.

Emma couldn’t help the small smile that pulled at her lips. “Do you now?”

“Mmhmm,” Alyssa hummed. She nosed Emma’s hair aside to place a soft kiss on her neck, the side opposite the hickey. “I like you so much, some people might even say that I love you.”

“Ugh, please don’t tell me you’re giving her another hickey,” another voice chimed in.

The girls sprang apart to see Kaylee and Shelby standing near the doorway of the bathroom.

Emma rolled her eyes. “Ever heard of knocking?”

“It’s a public restroom, Emma.”

“Plus, Schneider’s prowling the halls,” Kaylee said.

“That lady needs to find a new hobby,” Alyssa muttered darkly.

Almost everyone at school had been supportive of Alyssa and Emma when they came out. Ms. Schneider, the 73-year-old history teacher, was not one of them. She watched the couple like a hawk with her beady, dark eyes, just waiting to catch them doing something they shouldn’t. She once tried to give them detention for holding hands in the hallway, but Mr. Hawkins intervened.

“The homophobia is strong is that one,” Shelby said.

“Too strong,” Emma agreed. She looked to her girlfriend. “You better get going. God forbid she sees us in a bathroom together.”

“But you’ll be late to class,” Alyssa pointed out.

Emma shrugged. “Not that late. And it’s Mr. Howard, he likes me.”

Alyssa pouted but gave Emma a quick kiss before disappearing with Kaylee and Shelby. Emma turned back to the mirror and finished hiding the mark. In the end, it wasn’t completely covered, but it was good enough; no one would notice it unless they were _really_ staring at her neck, and hopefully no one would be doing that today…except Alyssa. Emma knew that her girlfriend was going to be giving her a smug look all day.

Emma packed up the makeup bag, stuffed it into her backpack and ventured out of the bathroom only to run into another body right outside the entrance.

“Oh, sorry,” Emma said quickly and looked up only to be met face to face with Ms. Schneider.

The old woman had a gleeful look on her face. “Spending a little too much time in the bathroom, eh, Miss Nolan?”

“Uhh…yeah. I just had to finish up-”

Just then, the bell rang, signaling the start of first period. Ms. Schneider’s smile grew.

“Well, looks like you’re tardy now. That’ll be a detention.”

Emma’s eyes widened. “What?!” she squawked. “But you-I was just-”

The teacher didn’t let her finish; she held up a hand to silence Emma and the girl knew better than to continue arguing. Ms. Schneider pulled out a pad of pink detention slips from her slacks pocket (Really? She kept detention slips on her?) and began to fill it out.

“We’ll see you after school today,” she sneered and handed Emma the slip.

Emma glared at the piece of paper before turning her glare to the elderly teacher, who was walking back down the hall. Emma let out a noise of frustration.

She was going to kill Alyssa for giving her this hickey.


	9. Impossible

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another short one! Enjoy!

* * *

There were many things in Emma Nolan’s life that were impossible. For example, it was impossible for her to not feel queasy at the sight of another person’s blood; her own blood was fine, but somebody else’s? No, thank you.

It was impossible for Emma to hate her grandmother, or the show _Golden Girls._ And, fun fact, it was not possible for a person to swallow twice in quick succession. Emma had tried to beat that myth for longer than she cared to admit when she learned it in middle school.

Overall, there were many impossibilities. The majority of the students in Emma’s high school believed it was impossible that another girl could love Emma the way she wanted. They believed it so strongly that Emma had begun to think it might be true herself.

What person would ever go out with her, let alone a girl? Were there even other gay people in Edgewater, Indiana? At the time, Emma thought it was impossible for there to be more people like her in her tiny town, and for someone to love her romantically.

It was not a good time.

But then Alyssa Greene came into her life and things started looking up. Alyssa was kind to her, and actually put forth the effort to befriend Emma, unlike the rest of their classmates. It didn’t surprise Emma when she started to have feelings for the brunette, but she did her best to ignore said feelings, because it was still impossible for a girl to be interested in Emma like that, let alone a girl as wonderful as Alyssa Greene.

Emma refused to accept that she had a crush, and avoided imagining what it would be like to date Alyssa. It would only lead to her getting hurt. Maybe college would be different, but definitely not high school.

She began to pull away. But then something monumental happened: Alyssa kissed her. It was quick, over before Emma could fully wrap her mind around what was happening. But it was a kiss, Emma’s first kiss, and it was from a _girl_! Not just any girl, but Alyssa Greene! And Alyssa had kissed _her_ , not the other way around!

Emma was stunned. Slowly, the bricks of impossibilities that had been built throughout her life began to crumble away.

It was not impossible for there to be more gay people in Edgewater, Indiana.

It was not impossible for another girl to be interested in Emma in a romantic sense.

It was not impossible to swallow twice in qu-

…Okay, no that one was still impossible.

It was not impossible for Emma’s life to get better.

It was not impossible for Emma to find love.

It _was_ impossible for Emma Nolan to not love Alyssa Greene.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You tried the swallowing one, didn't you? :)


	10. Jealousy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story has a connection to the chapter where Emma and Alyssa fight in the other work I wrote. You don’t need to read it to understand the Alyssa/Emma/Greg part, but it wouldn’t hurt. All mistakes are mine.

* * *

Alyssa liked to think that she was a girl with a level head. She didn’t get upset too easily (unless it involved her mother), she didn’t hold grudges, and she thought before she spoke. But that doesn’t mean that she never got angry, or sad, or--God forbid--jealous. Just to be clear, Alyssa Greene was _not_ jealous. She just wished that a certain girl would stop monopolizing all of _her_ girlfriend’s time.

It had all started in June, just a month after the whole prom fiasco. Emma and Alyssa had decided to go the Pride events in Indianapolis. The Broadway gang had already left to go back to New York and Trent was busy with moving to Edgewater. So, that left the two girls and Betsy, of course, who refused to let her granddaughter drive the hour and a half to the city without her. But she promised that she would keep her distance and let the girls enjoy themselves.

Alyssa thought it was great that Betsy wanted to tag along. Her own mother had immediately declined the invitation, but she hadn’t prohibited Alyssa from going. It was a step.

The city was amazing. Alyssa had only been a handful of times in her life, and there definitely had not been this many rainbow flags before; she had never seen so many! The two girls couldn’t stop the smiles on their faces and they immediately jumped into the festivities.

About half way through the day, the girls stopped for some lunch (Betsy was elsewhere) and that’s where they met Tanya. Tanya Tanner. (That name has to be fake, right?) She was tall and had straight blonde hair with bright blue eyes and a toned body; basically, the complete opposite of Alyssa.

It had begun innocent enough. Tanya recognized Emma from her Unruly Heart video and instantly struck up a conversation, telling Emma that her song gave Tanya the courage to come out to her parents. While Emma stammered awkwardly at the praise, Alyssa smiled. Her girlfriend was so amazing. God, she loved her so much.

Alyssa invited Tanya and her girlfriend, Kendall, to hang out with them and the four of them spent the rest of the day exploring, laughing, yelling, and singing together. The brunette thought that the adoring eyes Tanya kept shooting to Emma was adorable. Her girlfriend had a fan. Before they departed, they exchanged numbers, promising to get together again considering Tanya and Kendall only lived about forty minutes from Edgewater.

They met up with Tanya periodically throughout the summer. The first time Emma spent time with Tanya without Alyssa, the latter didn’t think much of it. It was August and cheer practice had started back up, keeping Alyssa pretty busy during the week. So, she encouraged Emma to go over to Tanya’s house, and Emma had gone and had fun and Alyssa was happy. She liked that her girlfriend had a real friend, besides her.

The second time it happened, Alyssa again didn’t question it. It wasn’t until the fourth time that Tanya was wanting to see them and Alyssa was busy that the brunette began to wonder if the blonde was doing it on purpose. Alyssa trusted her girlfriend, and knew that Emma would never do anything to hurt her. But it had been a solid week since the two had gotten to spend any time together that didn’t include another person or a planned event; the brunette missed the alone time with her girlfriend.

“So, do you wanna go see that new Ellen Page movie on Thursday?” Alyssa asked her girlfriend over the phone one Monday night.

“Oh, um.” Emma paused and Alyssa knew what the next words were going to be before Emma even said them. “Tanya and I were going to go see it tomorrow.”

_Of course, you are. Of course, you’re spending more time with Tanya than with me._

Alyssa bit her tongue, not wanting the words to spill out.

“Why don’t you come with us?” Emma asked.

The brunette would’ve loved to but, “I have cheer practice in the morning and then the seniors on student council want to get together and start planning some fundraisers. And in the evening-”

“I get it, you’re busy,” Emma interrupted bitterly from the other end of the line.

Alyssa winced at the words. It was true, she had been fairly busy during the summer, juggling things for senior year and college tours and scholarship essays. “I’m sorry.”

Emma let out a sigh. “No, I’m sorry. I just miss you.”

“I miss you, too.”

“I feel like I haven’t seen you in days.”

Alyssa mulled over her girlfriend’s words and thought back to Tanya. “Does Tanya work on the days I don’t have cheer practice or something?”

“What do you mean?”

“It just…it seems like the only time she’s available is when I’m not. I’d like to hang out with her again, her and Kendall. I guess I was just wondering if something in her schedule was just not lining up with mine.”

“Well, she doesn’t work as far as I’m aware.”

Okay, so Tanya was just avoiding her. Fantastic.

“Hopefully the four of us can hang out sometime soon; go on a double date or something,” Alyssa said.

“A double date? With who?”

The brunette furrowed her brow. “You know, you, me, Tanya, and Kendall.”

Emma was silent for a few seconds before revealing, “Babe, Tanya and Kendall aren’t dating. They’re just friends.”

Alyssa paused in her task of painting her toenails. “But they were dating at Pride.”

“Nope. Kendall’s straight. She has a boyfriend. She was just at Pride for Tanya.”

“Oh.”

Alyssa thought back to the few times that she was with Tanya and how the blonde always seemed to gravitate towards Emma, how she always let her hand fall onto Emma’s arm or shoulder when she told her something. How she sometimes laughed at something Emma said that Emma didn’t mean to be funny. How it seemed that her eyes were always tracking Emma.

By the time the brunette crawled into bed later that night, she was positive that Tanya had a crush on Emma. And she didn’t like that Emma was spending so much time with Tanya, alone. She didn’t like it one bit.

Emma continued to hang out with Tanya without Alyssa. While the brunette didn’t like it, she trusted her girlfriend; Emma would never do something to hurt her, but that didn’t mean that she enjoyed having another girl steal her girlfriend’s time.

She vented her frustrations to Kaylee and Shelby, who had apologized to both Emma and Alyssa profusely for their actions about the prom and the four became friends.

“Did you talk to her about it?” Kaylee asked at cheer practice one day after Alyssa revealed how she was hurt that Emma was seeing Tanya that night instead of her. “About how you’re jealous?”

“I’m not jealous!” Alyssa argued. Both Kaylee and Shelby gave her a dry look. “I’m not I…I just don’t like my girlfriend hanging out with a girl who has a crush on her.”

“And did you tell her that?” Kaylee asked again.

Alyssa’s shoulders slumped. “I can’t.”

“Why not?” Shelby questioned.

Alyssa thought back to her sophomore year homecoming, and how she had attended the dance with Greg, who most definitely had a crush on her. Everything had worked out between her and Emma, but- “I can’t be a hypocrite.”

Shelby looked confused, and Kaylee just said, “Elaborate.”

The brunette recounted the story. At the end, Kaylee looked shocked.

“You and Emma were together?” she asked in disbelief. “That long ago?” Alyssa nodded.

“Huh,” Shelby said. “I do distinctly remember you looking like you weren’t having fun.”

“Because I wasn’t,” Alyssa confirmed. “Emma and I were fighting.”

“Well, I still think you should tell her,” Kaylee said. “Maybe she’ll get mad, or whatever, but it’s not good to keep those feelings bottled up. Communication is key in a relationship.”

The girls didn’t get to talk much after that, and before Alyssa knew it, it was the first football game of the season. The first game always happened right before school began, and it was always against the same rival team. Emma promised Alyssa she would be at the game. It wasn’t the first one she had been to; she had surprised the brunette by showing up to a couple of the games last year to watch her cheer. Now that they were out, Emma felt more encouraged to go to the games, even though she didn’t care for football.

Alyssa was excited. She actually enjoyed cheerleading, and it was the first game of the season, the first game of her last year of high school. And she was going to cheer and then be able to see her girlfriend after the game and kiss her in front of everyone. It was going to be great.

Her excitement lasted exactly ten minutes into the game. Emma arrived a little late, but she took her seat in the stands and gave a wave to the brunette. Alyssa grinned and waved back. Emma’s attention was drawn to her side and Alyssa followed her gaze to see a tall, blonde girl making her way over to Emma.

Fucking Tanya Tanner.

The smile slid off of Alyssa’s face, and she didn’t even realize she was glaring at the girl until Shelby came up to her.

“Hey, what’s going on? You look mad.” The girl followed Alyssa’s gaze and noticed the blonde chatting with Emma. “Oh, is that her?”

“Yes,” Alyssa answered through gritted teeth.

“Well, if you glare any harder, she’s gonna catch on fire.” Alyssa didn’t say anything, but she let her eyes fall to the ground. Shelby grabbed Alyssa’s shoulder so the girl would look at her. “Hey, Lys, calm down. You know Emma, she would never cheat on you.”

Alyssa sighed. “Yeah. Yeah, I know.”

The game went on, and the brunette found herself paying more attention to her girlfriend and Tanya than the game…or the cheers. She messed up two different routines, almost hitting a sophomore in the process, and was ready to smack herself.

At the end, Alyssa was sweaty and tired, but content. They had won the game and Emma had stayed the whole time; the brunette had been slightly worried that her girlfriend would leave with Tanya during the game.

Alyssa quickly packed her duffel and ventured out of the locker room in search of her girlfriend. She found Emma standing with Tanya near the entrance to the stadium--if you could even call the football field a stadium. The two were laughing and Tanya must’ve been telling a story because she reached up to place her hands on Emma’s cheeks, explaining something. Emma did step back at the gesture, letting the blonde’s hands fall off her face. But Alyssa didn’t notice that.

As soon as Tanya set her hands on Emma’s face, Alyssa saw red.

“Hey!” Alyssa snapped.

Both girls turned at the outburst. Emma noticed the brunette’s tone and was frowning slightly, but Tanya didn’t. “Hey, girl! Nice cheerleading. I was just telling Emma about this one time-”

Alyssa cut her off. “I think it’s time for you to go home,” she told her sternly.

Tanya raised her eyebrows at the suggestion, taken aback. “Uh, sorry?”

Alyssa squared her shoulders and strode over until she was standing beside Emma. “I think it’s time you left. I’ve been wanting some alone time with my girlfriend, and you keep stealing that.”

Emma gasped at the brunette’s rudeness. “Alyssa!”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Tanya said, keeping her blue eyes on the brunette, challenge flickering in them.

Alyssa took it. “Oh? So, you haven’t been hanging out with my girlfriend alone for the past two months? Conveniently when I’m busy so I can’t be there?”

“We’re just friends,” Emma said. “I told you-”

“It’s not my fault that you’re too busy for your girlfriend,” Tanya stated coolly. “Maybe Emma deserves someone who would give her more attention.” 

Alyssa clenched her jaw. She couldn’t believe this blonde chick was trying to steal her girlfriend! But she also couldn’t deny that she had neglected Emma a bit over the summer. “Maybe you’re right, but she sure as hell is done getting attention from you!”

Tanya scowled. “I don’t think she is. Cause she actually enjoys spending time with me.”

“’She’ is standing right here!” Emma snapped, startling the other two girls into looking at her. She looked back and forth between them. “And she is very confused as to what’s happening right now.”

“She’s trying to break us up, Emma,” Alyssa told her. “She’s been trying to do it all summer.”

“Why would she do that?”

“Because she likes you!”

Emma snorted. “What? No, she doesn’t. There’s no way.” She glanced to Tanya, who had the audacity to give her a sensual once over.

“Is that really so hard to believe, Emma?” she asked quietly.

Emma’s smile slipped and she looked to the ground as she thought about everything before looking back to the blonde. “You have a crush on me?”

Alyssa barely resisted rolling her eyes; her girlfriend was amazing, but she could be really oblivious sometimes. “Yes, Emma, she does.” Tanya took a step towards Emma but the brunette stepped in between. “You can stay where you are,” she growled.

Tanya turned her icy blue eyes back to Alyssa. “How about you let Emma make her own decisions?”

“She does and I can,” Emma responded harshly. “Alyssa is my girlfriend and I love her.” Alyssa didn’t try to smother her proud grin. Tanya gave her a cursory glance before turning her attention back to the other girl. Emma continued. “I thought we were friends.”

“We _are_ friends,” Tanya agreed. “But we could be so much more than that. Emma, I can make you the happiest girl in the world.”

“Alyssa already does that!”

The brunette couldn’t help herself; she stretched her hand back to where Emma was standing behind her, the latter immediately taking it and lacing their fingers together. Alyssa kept her eyes on the blonde, noting with pride how she was staring hard at their joined hands.

“I…I’m sorry,” Emma said after a moment of silence. “I want to be your friend, but I can’t do that if you’re wanting…that.”

“Seriously?” Tanya snapped. “After all that she’s done to you? Being too afraid to come out? Leaving you alone and miserable at that fake prom?” Alyssa winced; she really was not proud of that one. “Going to the homecoming dance with Greg because she was too chicken to go with you?”

Anger surged through the brunette. “Hey! That was years ago! And it’s not even your business!”

“It is my business since Emma told me all about it!”

“Enough!” Emma yelled. “Tanya, you need to leave. We’re done.”

The blonde stared at Emma, pleading for a moment, but Emma just glared at her. The blonde gave a noise of frustration and threw her hands up in the air.

“Fine! Have a nice life, losers!” With that, she stomped off.

Alyssa didn’t let herself relax until she saw Tanya’s car peel out of the parking lot. She squeezed Emma’s hand a little tighter and turned to face her girlfriend. Emma was looking at her with her bottom lip pulled between her teeth, guilty.

“I’m sorry,” Emma muttered.

Alyssa furrowed her brow. “What’re you sorry for? You weren’t the one who was trying to steal someone’s girlfriend.”

“No, but…what she said was true. I did vent to her about relationship troubles we had in the past, and I shouldn’t have.”

“Emma, she was your friend. Or at least you thought she was. I…I was happy that you had someone other than me, even if she _was_ trying to get with you. I’m sorry that I’ve been so busy this summer.”

Emma stepped closer. “You do know that I don’t like her like that, right? I honestly thought we were just friends. I only want you, I only lov-”

Alyssa put her finger to Emma’s lips, cutting her off. “Emma, I know. And I love you too. I’m sorry I got jealous.”

Emma smirked from behind her finger. “Don’t be,” she said once Alyssa had moved it. “You’re super hot when you’re jealous.”

“I am?”

Emma nodded. “I mean, at first I was terrified when you came over here. But seeing you defend our relationship like that? And letting your possessive side show? Total turn on.”

Alyssa laughed before grabbing Emma’s hand again. “Do you wanna go spend some time together now?”

“More than you know.”

The two made their way over to Alyssa’s car. Tanya had picked Emma up, so it was up to the brunette to get Emma home, which she was more than fine with. If they happened to take a little detour and have some fun, so be it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize if anyone's name is Tanya Tanner.


	11. Kisses

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another short one! All mistakes are mine.

* * *

Alyssa Greene _loved_ kissing.

She didn’t when she was younger; didn’t understand why her friends would gush for what felt like hours about kissing boys. None of her kisses with boys, though there weren’t that many, seemed gush-for-hours worthy. And then she kissed Emma Nolan for the first time and her world exploded. Alyssa had learned a substantial amount about kissing throughout the years, including the different kinds of kisses.

There were the cute, hesitant first kisses on cheeks which inevitably led to tentative kisses on lips. Comfort levels grow, and one kiss turns into more, and then they’re heavy make-out kisses which always leave Alyssa out of breath and with red cheeks.

She remembers the first time that she and Emma got a little carried away with kissing, a little bolder, a little firmer, and with a lot more tongue, and Alyssa thought after the fact, ‘Wow, I just made out with Emma. I just had a make-out session!’

She finally understood what her friends were talking about.

Alyssa liked to think that they were even different types of make-outs. There were the ones with slow, lazy kisses where they just took their time with one another, exploring. They were soft, and sometimes included one of them talking so that the recipient not only heard the words, but felt them against their lips.

Then there were the frantic, hot kisses where it seemed like they were trying to devour each other. Biting would sometimes be involved, usually from Emma, and Alyssa would writhe in pleasure as her girlfriend trailed heated, open-mouthed kisses down her jaw and throat, begging her to continue going lower. Occasionally, one of them would be pushed up against a surface. Those always led to some very interesting and pleasurable experiences.

There were kisses where they were both standing, kisses where they were both laying down. Kisses when one of them was sitting and the other was straddling, kisses where one picked the other up under their thighs (Alyssa usually did this; Emma loved knowing how strong the brunette was). Morning kisses were always great, even if their breath was bad. It just showed the comfort level they had with each other.

Shower kisses were always fun, too. They reminded Alyssa of the first time Emma kissed her in the pouring rain. The second prom had just ended and Emma tugged her close as soon as they got to her truck, pulling her into a soft kiss.

But Alyssa’s favorite kisses didn’t involve lips touching lips. No, her favorite were forehead kisses.

They made her feel so safe, so loved. The first time Emma had bestowed a kiss on her forehead, Alyssa was barely awake, napping on Betsy’s couch while the two watched a show. Emma had gently brushed a lock of hair off Alyssa’s forehead and leaned down before gently kissing the area.

“I love you, Alyssa,” Emma had whispered reverently, and Alyssa felt her heart soar. She continued to pretend to be asleep, not wanting to disrupt the moment.

Emma fell into a habit of kissing her girlfriend’s forehead whenever she was dozing. When Alyssa eventually admitted that those particular kisses were her favorite, Emma kissed her that way every day multiple times. She would peck Alyssa on the lips and then migrate her lips north, making Alyssa feel herself falling in love even more every time.

Alyssa Greene _loved_ kissing, and she really loved kissing Emma Nolan.


	12. Leverage (Part of Assassin AU)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part of the Assassin AU I wrote in the first chapter. T/W violence. All mistakes are mine.

Emma was stupid. She knew when she got into this profession years ago that she couldn’t get close to people. They could be used as leverage; they would be in harm’s way, all the time. Emma couldn’t live with herself if she was the reason someone she cared for got hurt or worse. No, she would have to be alone for the rest of her life, and she was okay with that.

But then Alyssa had crashed into her life (Literally. They ran into each other at the library), and Emma fell. Hard. She wrestled with herself for months, knowing that she should break up with Alyssa to keep her safe. But then Alyssa proposed and Emma couldn’t say no. She couldn’t say no to a life with the woman she loved.

For years, things were fine. Emma kept her profession a secret from her wife, and hardly anybody knew that she was married. So Alyssa stayed safe.

Things can’t last forever, though, and shit hit the fan.

* * *

Emma cursed under her breath as she busted through the double doors leading to the warehouse section of the supermarket. Why her enemies decided to take haven in a supermarket was beyond her, but she had bigger things to worry about, such as finding her wife.

Emma had come home expecting to find Alyssa cooking dinner or reading, and hoping that she would give her a nice massage; the last mission had gone way too south and she was weak and exhausted.

Instead, Emma was greeted with typed letter on the kitchen table telling her where to go and what to do if she wanted to see her wife again. Clearly, the people she was dealing with didn’t realize how damn good she was at being an assassin because she found where they were hiding with ease and already took down multiple gunmen, even though she wasn’t at 100%.

But Emma couldn’t congratulate herself; she still hadn’t found her wife.

She immediately scanned the area as she entered the warehouse. The lights were dim, but she could make out the numerous boxes and wood pallets that littered the floor. She crept slowly down the aisle, keeping her gun trained in front of her.

A gunshot rang out through the silence and Emma dove behind a tower of boxes as she heard the bullet ricochet off the concrete ground. More shots followed and Emma calmly checked her magazine before peering around the edge of the box. The man shooting at her was just over twenty feet away, mostly crouched behind his own box tower. Emma took cover again as the man shot at her. The bullets were going everywhere and she furrowed her brow.

This man was not a very good shot.

Emma waited until the firing stopped before she glanced around the box again. The man was reloading, and was mostly covered, but he still had his—

The man roared in agony as the hand that was holding the gun bled profusely. His gun clattered to the floor and Emma sprinted over to grab it before the man could. She stuffed it into her waistband. The man was cradling his injured hand as he looked up at Emma.

Emma aimed the barrel at his head. “Where is she?”

The man spat at her. Emma didn’t flinch. She quickly brought her hand across the man’s face so the butt of her handgun smacked him hard across the jaw. The man cried out and Emma took the second to lay him flat on his back with his injured hand underneath her boot.

“Where is she?” Emma questioned again through gritted teeth. She lightly pressed down with her foot and the man sobbed.

“I-I don’t know!” Emma pressed harder; more blood spilled. “Ahhh! Okay! Okay! She’s in the back! In the back!” He pointed with his non-injured hand towards a door that was in the back wall.

Emma released his hand. The man immediately brought it into his body to protect it.

“Thanks,” Emma said and then shot him in the head. She couldn’t leave anyone alive; it would only make her and Alyssa targets again.

Emma made her way to the door, checking all around her to make sure there were no others lurking. There wasn’t. She tried to open the door, but it was locked. She expected this. She quickly checked the magazine on her gun once more before kicking down the door.

Unlike the warehouse area, this room was well lit. And it had Alyssa in it. Emma felt her breath leave her when she saw her wife tied to the chair in the center of the room. Her eyes were closed, head lolled to the side, and there was a piece of cloth wrapped over her mouth. Blood was spattered along the left side of her face.

Emma’s stomach churned. She sprinted over to the brunette. She dropped her gun to the floor as she fell to her knees in front of Alyssa.

“Alyssa? C’mon, c’mon. Please don’t be dead,” she pleaded as she cradled the brunette’s face. “Alyssa can you hear me?” Alyssa didn’t open her eyes. Emma brought her fingers to her wife’s throat and breathed a sigh of relief when she felt the strong pulse. Alyssa was just knocked out.

Emma untied the cloth from around her mouth before she drew a dagger out from her belt and cut the ties away.

“Baby, wake up,” she kept repeating as she shoved the rope away from Alyssa. She grasped the brunette’s shoulder and shook gently. “Alyssa, wake up!”

Slowly, Alyssa blinked her eyes open.

“Emma?” Her voice was rough. Emma could’ve cried at hearing her wife’s voice again.

“Hey baby.” She grabbed her hands.

“What…” Alyssa didn’t finish her sentence as she looked around. Her eyes widened when she remembered what had happened. “Emma, what is going on? These guys broke into the apartment and-”

“I know,” Emma interrupted. “I promise I’ll explain everything, but right now I need to get us out of here. Can you stand?”

Alyssa glanced down to her feet. “I think so.” She shifted her weight to her feet and was about to stand when she brought her eyes back up. “Emma, behind you!”

Emma registered her wife’s words at the same time that she felt something cold and hard pressed into the back of her head. A gun. She froze.

Why hadn’t she cleared the room first?

Stupid, stupid, stupid.

“Well, isn’t this touching,” a low voice said. “Love is truly a magnificent thing, isn’t it?”

Emma kept her eyes on Alyssa, who had slumped back into the chair again. Alyssa glared at the man behind Emma. In the back of her mind, Emma couldn’t help but be proud of her wife. Instead of seeming terrified, Alyssa just looked pissed.

“What do you want?” Emma asked evenly.

“Well, for starters,” the man began and Emma felt the spare gun she took from warehouse guard tugged from her waistband. Emma looked to the floor, searching for her own gun that she had set down next to Alyssa, but it was gone.

Where did it go?

“Now,” the man continued. “to the main attraction. I’m going to take from you what you took from me.”

Emma couldn’t help herself. “Are you talking about my wife? Sorry to tell you, buddy, but I guarantee that she’s never been yours.”

The man pushed the barrel of the gun harder into her head. Alyssa winced at seeing the action.

“Stop it!” she snapped.

The man just chuckled. “You have a feisty one there,” he commented as he took steps around Emma, his shoes clicking on the concrete floor. He kept the gun centimeters away from Emma, ensuring that she didn’t move. “I will admit that she put up quite a fight earlier.”

Emma didn’t say anything. Her hazel eyes locked onto the man once he came into her sight. He was tall and skinny, with dark hair flecked with gray. His eyes were a crystal blue, almost the same as—

“Wilkens,” Emma said.

“Ah, so you do remember my brother. Tell me, was it the eyes or the chiseled jaw that gave it away?” He gave a smarmy smile.

“Actually, it was the stench of asshole that radiates off you. I gotta tell ya, I was floored when I found out he had tricked a woman into marrying him.”

“Don’t mention that wretched bitch!” the man growled. “She had my brother killed!”

“So why are you going after me?” Emma really didn’t want to put another person in danger, but really, she was only doing her job when she killed the other Wilkens.

“Oh, don’t worry, Linda is next on the list. Figured I should take care of the harder part first.” He swung his gun away from Emma to point at Alyssa’s temple. Emma tensed. “Now, you’ll do what I tell you or your wife dies.”

Emma stared at Alyssa, hoping that the brunette could see how sorry Emma was for dragging her into this mess. “What do you want?”

“Emma, what are you doing?” Alyssa asked urgently. “Don’t give int-”

“Shut up!” Wilkens cried. He brought his gun-wielding hand up to smack the brunette and Emma made her move.

She pushed up off the floor and plowed into the man, tackling him to the ground. His gun clattered to the floor as the two rolled around, throwing punches. Emma was more skilled, but Wilkens was stronger and Emma barely made it out from under of him. She lunged toward the dropped pistol but Wilkens latched onto her ankle and dragged her away.

Emma turned and kicked out with her other foot, connecting with his stomach. The noise of pain from Wilkens was satisfying for Emma and she started toward the gun again.

“Alyssa! Get out of here!” she demanded as she reached the gun.

“Emma!”

Emma turned with the gun, but before she could pull the trigger, Wilkens had hit her with an uppercut, making her drop the gun a few feet away and temporarily disorienting her. She stumbled back a few steps and Wilkens kept coming. Emma took punch after punch; to her gut, her face, back to her gut. She clenched her jaw and swung back, connecting with his jaw and hearing a crunch.

Blood was pouring down Emma’s face now, but she didn’t notice. All she could focus on was distracting this guy long enough for Alyssa to escape. She didn’t even glance her wife’s way, afraid that if she did Wilkens would notice and go after Alyssa again.

Emma quickly searched for Wilkens’ gun again, but the man was relentless and tackled her to the dirty floor. Emma felt her clavicle break as she landed hard and rolled away. Wilkens was upon her in seconds, kicking her stomach. And there went a few ribs, too.

Emma grunted out in pain. She didn’t know how much more she could take, her body screaming in agony. Wilkens finally stopped and stared down at her, his eyes wild. He had blood dripping from his nose and down his chin and his clothes were ripped slightly. At least Emma had done some damage.

She panted. “That all you got?”

Wilkens’ nostrils flared in anger. “No.” He kicked her in the stomach a few more times, breaking more ribs and Emma curled in pain. She didn’t even notice him walk away. “Give up?” Emma opened her eyes to see that he had gotten his gun. It wasn’t aimed at her; clearly he was wanting a bit more of the punching and kicking.

“Fuck you,” Emma spat.

“You’d like that, wouldn’t you?” Wilkens said and he drew his foot back again.

Emma clenched her eyes shut on reflex. She felt his shoe connect with her temple and the sound of a gunshot before everything went black.

* * *

It was the steady beeping noise that Emma noticed first. It was odd; she didn’t think heaven would have beeping sounds. Or maybe she was in hell and that’s why the noises were incessant.

She couldn’t see anything, but she could smell something…bleach? She slowly blinked her eyes open and took in her surroundings before her mind tiredly came to the conclusion that she was in a hospital. Huh, apparently she wasn’t dead.

She was alone in the room, only having the beeping and whirring machines as company, but she did notice a chair close to her bed that had a black jacket draped across it. Alyssa.

Fear gripped Emma; where was Alyssa?

She didn’t realize that she was sitting up or that the beeping had spiked in frequency until a middle-aged nurse bustled in.

“You’re okay, honey,” the nurse said kindly as she pushed some buttons on the monitors. “Lie back now. There you go.” Emma let herself be nudged back into a reclining position. She tried to speak, but her voice was gone. The nurse, whose name tag read Colleen, reached behind her to a small table. “Oh, here, have some water.”

Emma took the small plastic cup and chugged the cool water within. She tried again. Her voice was still rough after limited use, but it was there. “Wher…where’s my w-wife?”

Colleen’s eyes lit up. “Oh! You mean A-”

“Emma?”

Emma looked past Colleen to see her wife standing in the doorway, holding a cup of coffee. She had a bandage at her temple, covering the gash she had gotten at the hands of Wilkens. She looked absolutely exhausted. “Alyssa?”

“I’ll go get the doctor,” Colleen said. “Give you two a moment.”

Emma didn’t even see her leave, not tearing her eyes away from the brunette. Alyssa rushed to put the coffee down on the table before sitting in the chair next to the bed. She held one of Emma’s hands. “How are you feeling?”

“Fine,” Emma replied and cleared her throat. “How are _you_? Baby, I’m so sorry about everything.”

Alyssa leaned forward and kissed her forehead. “Everything’s okay. I’m okay, and you’re okay. But you do have to explain some things.”

Emma was nodding before she even finished the sentence. “I will, I promise. I just-”

“Ah, I see you’re awake.” Both women looked to the door to see a woman in a white coat. “How’re you feeling? My name’s Dr. Merryhill. You’ve gave your wife quite a scare.” She moved until she was standing on Emma’s other side. “I just have to ask a couple questions fist, okay?”

Emma quickly answered her questions and the doctor smiled, satisfied. “No apparent brain damage, which is amazing considering how many times you were hit in the head. You also have seven broken ribs and a bruised sternum. It’s going to take a while to heal. Your wife says you guys were in the store when it was being robbed?”

Emma glanced to Alyssa, who raised her eyebrows. “Uh…yeah, just wanted to pick up some food for our cat.”

“Alright, well you’re very lucky. I’ll give you some time to rest. Just ring your nurses’ button if you need anything, okay?” Alyssa and Emma nodded and the doctor swept from the room.

“What happened?” Emma asked her wife immediately. “How am I alive right now?”

“Because I saved you, you dumbass.” Alyssa’s words were harsh. Tears were glistening in her eyes and Emma knew she was in for it. “I get abducted by these horrible men and wake up not knowing where I am. I thought I was going to die.”

“Babe-”

“No!” Alyssa snapped, barely keeping her voice low so people outside the room wouldn’t hear them. “You don’t get to talk right now. Because I killed someone because of you.”

Emma blinked. “What?”

“What did I say about no talking?!” Emma shut her mouth. Alyssa leaned in closer as she spoke. “You were lying there, getting beat up and I…I couldn’t take it. So, I shot him. I shot him six times in the back.” Her voice was shaking. “There was so much blood. I th-thought...I was afraid that I had hit you on accident."

_How_? Emma thought. _Wilkens had the guns_. Alyssa must’ve registered the confused look on her face because she explained.

“I tucked your gun under my feet when I saw Wilkens. And then you were getting kicked and I…I grabbed the gun and shot him.” A tear escaped from Alyssa’s eye. “I ran over to you and you were so still. I-I thought you were…” she trailed off. “And then I called the cops from your phone and held you, keeping the gun until somebody showed up.”

Emma’s heart broke; she hated the fact that Alyssa had to do that, had to go through the turmoil of taking somebody's life away. It wasn't easy, even if the person was bad. She gently cleared her throat. “Can I talk now?” The brunette gave a curt nod. “Baby, I’m so sorry you had to do that. I never wanted you to be in any danger-”

“Too late for that,” Alyssa interrupted with a derisive chuckle. Emma winced.

“I know, and I’m sorry. I’ll explain everything, but first can I just say how smart that was to hide the gun? Total badass move, babe.”

A small smile flit across Alyssa’s face before it went away. “Yeah, well, even though I kinda want to let you stay alone in this hospital for a few days, I still love you, and I couldn’t sit there and do nothing.”

“I love you, too. So much.” Emma took a deep breath and gingerly sat up in her bed, wincing as pain shot through her body at the motion. “Why don’t you take a seat? I’ll start from the beginning.”

Alyssa pecked her cheek but then did as she suggested. Emma reached out her hand and she took it, lacing their fingers together.

Emma took another deep breath. “Alright, so…”


	13. Mind Reader AU

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts are in bold. Emma can read minds, but the person must be looking at her in order for her to hear their thoughts clearly, kind of like sonar. She tries her best to keep this secret from Alyssa, but the brunette isn’t top of the class for nothing.  
> Side note: Emma and Alyssa are dating when Emma gets kicked out of her parents house.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was a little tough, but we're halfway there! Don't worry, I have no intention of stopping this series just because the show closed. That was an extremely sad day.  
> All mistakes are mine.

**Weirdo.**

**Lesbo.**

**Called it. I knew she was gay.**

**I can’t believe I used to be friends with her. What a freak!**

That last one was Kaylee’s; her thoughts were always the loudest, just like her actual voice.

Emma clenched her jaw and pushed her way through the throng of students to get to her locker. Sometimes it really sucked being a mind reader. Emma normally didn’t have to listen to people’s thoughts because they hardly looked at her. But since word had gotten around that she was gay and gotten kicked out of her parents’ house, there had been a lot of people staring at her.

The teenager desperately wished that she could go back to being a wallflower, back to when her classmates would ignore her; it certainly would be quieter. Although, she didn’t regret coming out and finally feeling like herself.

It wasn’t all bad, being able to read minds. Emma knew when to not bother her parents with something or other because they were angry. Though, she wouldn’t have to worry about that now.

She knew deeply personal details of her classmates that she could use as leverage if the need ever arose. And it always helped if she got stumped on a test question, although she didn’t do that much because she was smart herself, thank you very much. But Emma did have to admit that it was nice to have Shelby in her math classes; the girl was secretly a whiz at math.

But perhaps the best part about being able to read minds (and not having the ability to choose whose mind to read) was the fact that Emma was able to receive her girlfriend’s thoughts. What someone would give to be able to read their significant other’s thoughts. Emma was pretty much the best girlfriend ever, always knowing what she needed to say to Alyssa to make her day better.

But she had to be careful; Alyssa wasn’t dumb, and Emma knew that she would figure out her secret if she was too obvious about it.

**I can’t believe what she’s going through. Her parents are idiots; I never liked them.**

Emma looked down the hall to find her girlfriend standing at her own locker, watching her. Alyssa was biting her lip, trying to keep her emotions in check. Emma gave a quick smile, trying to show that she was hanging in there. Alyssa echoed it before looking away.

 **I can’t believe I used to let her babysit my kids**.

Emma whipped her head around to see her math teacher, Mr. Bowman, striding away from her down the hall. Really? Even the teachers were going to give her a hard time? She leaned her head against the cool metal of her locker, trying her best to ignore her classmates’ thoughts that were buzzing around in her mind. She just had to get through the next few days. This news would die down soon, she just had to hold on.

Emma let the knowledge that she was going to see her girlfriend at lunch get her through the first few classes of the day. It was really hard to pay attention since it seemed that her peers were looking at her more than the board or their teacher, and their thoughts were getting loud. Emma had to excuse herself during one class just to go the bathroom and get a break.

Lunch came around and Emma sped to the band closet. There was nobody else in there, obviously, so it was mercifully quiet. Emma sighed as she sat down on the floor and rested her head against the wall. Alyssa entered a few minutes later.

“Hey,” she greeted and gave Emma a quick kiss. “How’re you doing?”

**God, Alyssa why would you ask her that? She’s obviously not doing well.**

“I’m okay,” Emma answered. She laced her fingers through Alyssa’s. “Getting through it.”

“What happened? How did your parents find out?”

“Because I told them.”

 **What?!** “What?”

“I told them,” Emma repeated. “I was tired of hiding. Obviously, they didn’t take it the best.” **Did…did she tell them about me?** “Don’t worry, I didn’t say anything about you.”

Alyssa nodded. “Okay, well…is there anything I can do?”

Emma shrugged, knowing that the thing she really wanted wasn’t something she could ask of Alyssa. At least, not yet. “Not really. Just be with me.”

The brunette gave a small smile. “I always am.” Her eyes dropped down to Emma’s lips. **I really want to kiss her right now.**

Emma felt the flutters she always did whenever Alyssa thought about kissing her or…doing other things. “So do it.”

Alyssa snapped her eyes up. “Do what?”

Emma’s eyes widened slightly. She quickly tried to cover up her slip. “Uh, be with me. That’s what we’re talking about right?”

Alyssa scrutinized her for a moment. “Yeah.”

Emma hoped that she appeared nonchalant as she asked, “What?”

Alyssa shook her head and smiled. “Nothing. Just thinking about something.”

“About what?”

 **How much I want to kiss you**. “Just that you’re very brave and how proud I am to be your girlfriend.”

Emma smirked. “So why don’t you go ahead and show me?”

Alyssa pulled her into a kiss.

* * *

Their relationship went on, and Emma found it harder and harder to hide her secret from her girlfriend. Normally, Emma could tune people’s thoughts out to a dull buzz (it also helped that people usually didn’t look at her for long, so she ended up just getting snippets of their mind ramblings), but Alyssa looked at her often and thought about her all the time (which was nice). There were several times that Emma had to quickly recover from her slip-ups.

There was that time they were in the band closet eating lunch. Alyssa had been eying Emma’s food longingly, jealous of the sugar Emma was allowed to eat.

**What I wouldn’t give to have some Skittles.**

Emma kept her face neutral, but a few days later, she tossed a bag of Skittles to the brunette when they met for lunch.

Alyssa peered down at the candy in her hand. “Uh…”

“You like those, right?” Emma asked. “I’ve noticed you not being excited about your lunch. You mentioned you liked those a while back. So, there ya go.”

 **Did I ? I don’t remember…ah, whatever.** Alyssa tore open the package and ate the colorful candies with glee.

Then there was the time a few weeks later when she and Emma were working on homework in the latter’s bedroom. Alyssa was sprawled across the bed, her anatomy assignment open in front of her. Emma was sitting at her desk, her back to Alyssa.

Alyssa was fiddling with her pencil as she studied the diagram of the human skeleton. She had a quiz the next day and the wrist bones were giving her trouble.

**They’re just so freaking small! Okay, Lys, let’s try again.**

**There’s the scaphoid, hamate, capitate…ummm. Crap, what are those T ones? Trapezoid? Yeah, that sounds right. And then there’s trapezium and tri…trisomething. Oh! Lunate! Okay, that’s six. Triquetrum! That’s it! Alright the last one is…shit what is it? It’s that little one hanging onto the pinky side! Gosh, what is it? C’mon Alyssa—**

“Pisiform.”

Alyssa snapped her head up to stare at Emma, whose back was still to her. “What?”

Emma froze as she realized what she had just done. She slowly turned around to look at the brunette. “What what?”

“You just…gave me the answer to my question.”

“I did?” Alyssa nodded slowly. “Huh, we must be studying the same thing.”

 **Really**? Alyssa tilted her head, thinking. “But you’re not in anatomy this semester.”

“Oh! Well, I…I like to-”

“Do you girls want some cookies?” Betsy called from downstairs.

“Yes!” Emma shouted and all but sprinted out of her room. She knew that Alyssa was staring after her curiously.

**That was weird. I could’ve sworn that I wasn’t saying the bones out loud.**

Emma was trying not to smack herself by the time she made it to the kitchen. How could she be so stupid? It was obvious Alyssa was just thinking, not talking. She shook her head as she grabbed a couple cookies for herself and Alyssa.

The next week at school, both girls had presentations in their shared English class. Alyssa was one of the first ones to go. She didn’t mind public speaking; she was on the debate team. Surprisingly, Emma also volunteered to go that first day.

 **She must just want to get it out of the way**. Bingo, Alyssa.

Emma cleared her throat before beginning. She focused on keeping her voice clear and loud instead of the dozens of thoughts that were bombarding her from her classmates.

**Ugh, she’s talking about…whatever that book is. I hated that one.**

**How am I supposed to finish that science paper tonight AND study for that calculus test?**

**Dammit! Why can’t I swallow twice in short succession? So frustrating!**

It was difficult. But Emma was almost done with her presentation when a thought completely derailed her.

**She’s just so amazing. I think I might love her.**

At that second, Emma choked, faltered in her speaking and darted her eyes to Alyssa. The brunette raised a brow questioningly, but Emma just recovered quickly and finished her presentation.

**Huh, odd that she messed up right as I thought that. It’s almost as if…no, Alyssa, it’s not possible.**

**…but…**

Emma rushed out of the class as soon as the bell rang. They hadn’t said those words to each other yet. Emma had been working up the courage, although now that she knew Alyssa most likely felt the same way, she felt way more confident.

She made her way to the band closet and texted Alyssa asking her to meet there. The brunette entered a few minutes later.

“Emma? What is it? We have class.”

Emma didn’t care. She strutted towards her girlfriend and pulled her into a fierce kiss. She slipped her tongue past Alyssa’s lips when she gasped in surprise, curling it around the brunette’s. She slowed the kiss.

“Wow,” Alyssa breathed once they parted. “What was that for?” **Not that I’m complaining**.

“I’m just happy that those stupid presentations are over.”

Alyssa smiled softly. “Yeah, you did great.”

“So did you.” Emma let a beat pass. “And…I wanted to say something else.”

Alyssa furrowed her brow, smile still in place. “What?”

Emma licked her lips. She took a breath. It was now or never. “I love you.”

Alyssa’s eyes widened, and her smile fell a fraction. Emma felt cold seep into her veins. Had she said it too soon? Did Alyssa not feel the same after all?

**Holy shit.**

It was silent, and then. “Really?” Emma nodded numbly. “I love you, too.”

Emma’s face broke into a large grin. “Yeah?”

 **Yes**. “Yes, you idiot.”

Emma tugged her into another kiss. So what if they decided to skip class that hour?

Emma was giddy for the next few days. Alyssa Greene loved her. _Her_! Life was beautiful.

She was strutting down the hallway, unable to wipe off the smirk on her face. She was surrounded by all these boneheads and yet the most gorgeous girl in the school was with her.

**Hey, Emma!**

Emma turned to see said gorgeous girl staring at her with an unreadable expression. “Hey, what’s up?”

Alyssa strolled over to her, the hallway dwindling down as the other students made their way to class.

**You can read my mind, can’t you?**

Emma’s eyes widened, but she just said, “Uh, Alyssa are you going to say anything?”

The brunette rolled her eyes and latched onto Emma’s wrists, leading her to the band closet. Once they were there, Alyssa whirled on her.

“You can read my mind, can’t you?”

“What? That’s ridiculous!”

“Oh yeah? What just happened then?”

“You called my name and then didn’t say anything and dragged me in here.”

Alyssa shook her head. “Wrong. I didn’t call your name, Emma. I just thought it, and you responded!”

“Wh-what?” Emma spluttered. “Alyssa, that’s impossible.”

“You said you knew I liked Skittles even though I’ve never told you that,” Alyssa began, counting the incidents on her fingers. “You answer my questions when I’m studying, even when I’m just thinking them! And you looked right after me after I thought that I loved you.”

“All coincidences,” Emma said weakly.

**Emma just be honest with me. Please.**

Emma gave a deep sigh. In truth, it would be nice to tell Alyssa; to have somebody else know. “Okay, fine. Yes, I can read minds.” Alyssa smacked her in the arm. “Ow!”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Because I haven’t told anyone!” Emma shot back as she rubbed her arm. “Besides, if I told you earlier, would you have believed me?”

“Good point,” Alyssa said. “So...you can read minds.” Emma nodded. “That’s really cool! Do you get the answers to tests or something from teachers?”

Emma chuckled. “No, cause I don’t need to.”

“Do you read my mind a lot?” Emma just looked to the ground sheepishly.

“I really like your thoughts, cause they’re never mean ones about me.”

Alyssa’s heart clenched. She couldn’t imagine going through life being able to know what people thought of you all the time. **God, that must be awful.**

Emma waved her off. “It’s fine. I’m used to it.”

“So, how does it work? You just have these other people’s thoughts in your ears all the time?”

Emma laughed again. “Kinda.” She took a seat on an amp in the closet. “Why don’t you sit and I’ll tell you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't really care for the ending, but it's here anyways.


	14. Never Have I Ever

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Underage drinking. Higher T rating, but still nothing explicit. All mistakes are mine.

_This was a bad idea. This was a very, very bad idea._

The thought flashed through Emma’s head on repeat. _Why did I agree to this again? Oh, right, cause Alyssa pouted when she asked._

Emma surveyed the basement full of teenagers in various stages of inebriation as she sipped on her own red solo cup of Sprite; she did have to drive her and Alyssa back to Betsy’s after all. Her eyes made quick work of finding her girlfriend, who was immersed in a story with Nick while Kevin and Shelby made out on the couch next to them.

Emma scrunched up her nose in distaste. While she was grateful that most of her classmates had stopped bullying her after the whole prom fiasco, it didn’t mean that she wanted to go to parties. She would’ve much preferred having some alone time with Alyssa, but the brunette had all but begged Emma to come with her to Nick’s party.

_“They’re friends now, Emma. They want to get to know you better.”_

_“Lys, I’m just not really into the whole crazy party scene.”_

_“I’m not either, but it’ll be more fun with you there. I promise to make it worth your while.”_

Emma couldn’t say no to that, and now here she was. Soon after arriving, Alyssa had made herself a drink, and then another, quickly toeing the line between tipsy and drunk. Emma always found Alyssa adorable, but the brunette’s adorableness went up whenever she drank. Emma watched her girlfriend with a soft smile, until somebody had suggested a game and Alyssa whipped her head around to find Emma.

“Babe! Never have I ever!”

Emma blinked at her girlfriend’s enthusiasm. “Uh, what?”

Alyssa quickly stumbled over to her and began pulling her into the giant circle the others made. “Never have I ever! It’s a drinking game!”

“But I’m not drinking,” Emma mumbled, confused, as Alyssa tugged so that she plopped down next to her on the floor.

“You don’t have to,” Kaylee said from across the circle. “Or you can and you and Alyssa can just crash at my place tonight. I’m the DD.”

The offer was nice but, “If this is the game I think it is, I feel like I should keep my wits about me.” Alyssa snorted next to her before bursting into giggles. Emma stared at her. “Lys, what…”

“Wits,” the brunette got out between giggles. “It’s just a funny word.”

Everyone who was playing settled in and the game began. It started out innocent enough with some girl April saying, “Never have I ever broken a bone.”

The game continued.

“Never have I ever gone skydiving.”

“Never have I ever been to another country.”

“Never have I ever gone streaking.”

Emma frowned at that last one. This was going to be a dangerous game, especially with an inebriated Alyssa.

Before long, the questions began to get a little more adult.

“Never have I ever taken somebody’s virginity,” a kid named John said.

About a third of the circle took drinks, including Alyssa, Emma, Shelby, Kevin and Nick.

“Hey,” Kaylee said to Emma and Alyssa. “When did you guys do it the first time?”

Emma felt her cheeks heat. “I don’t think that’s part of the ga-”

“We did it in her truck the first time!” Alyssa exclaimed happily. “It was amazing.”

“Alyssa!” Emma squeaked in embarrassment. “You didn’t have to share that!” Alyssa ducked her head slightly, but her smile stayed.

Some laughter went around the group.

“I lost mine in my dad’s truck,” Nick announced proudly.

“Shelby and I did it in my car a couple times,” Kevin added. The two boys high fived.

“Okay!” Emma said loudly, her face red. “Can we move on from talking about people having sex in cars?”

“Certainly,” Shelby said. “We can move to people having sex in beds.”

Alyssa perked up. “Yeah! Emma and I-”

Emma slapped a hand over her girlfriend’s mouth. “How about no more sex questions?” she said through gritted teeth.

“But that’s the whole point of the game!” Shelby exclaimed.

Alyssa said something from behind Emma’s hand but it was so muffled that Emma couldn’t understand her.

“What?” She suddenly ripped her hand away. “Argh! Did you just lick my hand?”

Alyssa scrunched up her face in distaste. “Doesn’t taste nearly as good as other parts of you.”

Emma’s eyes bulged out of her head and her cheeks reddened as their friends howled with laughter around the circle. She groaned; they hadn’t been playing the game that long and already Alyssa was saying things Emma would’ve preferred to be kept private.

“Alright,” Kaylee said, wiping a tear from her eye. “Who wants to go next?”

“Oh! Oh! Me!” Alyssa exclaimed as she raised her hand and bounced excitedly. Kaylee nodded and everyone looked to the drunk brunette expectantly. “Never have I ever…hmmm…given someone a blowjob.”

Emma watched as a number of girls, including Shelby and Kaylee, took drinks. She noticed movement out of the corner of her eye and saw that Alyssa was drinking too. “Babe, what’re you doing?”

“I’m drinking,” Alyssa replied as if it were obvious.

“Yes, but why? You haven’t given a blowjob before.”

“Yeah I have,” Alyssa said. “I’ve done it to you plenty of times.”

Emma gaped at her for moment, not noticing how across from her, Shelby had spit out some of her beer from laughing.

“Babe…no. A blowjob is what you do to guys. So, unless you have a secret male sidepiece I don’t know about, I don’t think you’ve given a blowjob.”

The brunette furrowed her brow adorably. “So, a blowjob isn’t when I-”

“No!” Emma shook her head, knowing that she was blushing again. “Nope, not the same thing.”

“Wow,” Kaylee interrupted from across the circle. “I never realized how sheltered you are.”

“Wait,” Nick said to Alyssa. “If you thought you had done it before, why would say that as your never have I ever?”

Alyssa shrugged. “I like this drink.”

“So, you haven’t given oral sex to a guy before?” Kevin asked.

“Eww, no!”

“But you and Emma-”

“Alyssa and I have sex!” Emma shouted, fed up. “Can we please move onto other topics?!” Her face was beet red and she was tired of all these kids who were once mean to her knowing some personal things about her and Alyssa.

The group relented and the game moved to topics such as shoplifting and cheating on tests. After a bit, Emma excused herself to the use the bathroom. When she stepped out, Alyssa was standing immediately outside of the door.

“Jesus, Alyssa!” Emma yelped, startled.

“C’mon,” her girlfriend said and all but shoved Emma back into the bathroom before following and closing and locking the door behind herself.

“Alyssa, what-”

Alyssa cut her off by pressing her lips to Emma’s firmly, hands clasping her cheeks. Emma gasped in surprise and the brunette used the opportunity to slip her tongue through the blonde’s parted lips. Emma overcame the shock and grasped the brunette’s hips, pulling her closer.

“Do-you-have any-idea-how-hot-you are?” Alyssa panted out between kisses.

“Uh-” Emma was unable to get anything else out because Alyssa had turned them around and slammed Emma back into the closed door. Emma grunted, which led to Alyssa pulling away.

“You okay?” Emma nodded and brought Alyssa back to her lips. Alyssa tasted sweet, like the wine coolers she had been taking down throughout the night. Emma savored it and let her hands push up the brunette’s shirt slightly so that she could grasp at warm, smooth skin.

Alyssa jumped and hissed once Emma touched her with her fingers. “You have cold hands.”

“Sorry, I just washed them.”

Alyssa grabbed onto Emma’s hands and led them up until they were planted on her clothed breasts. “So warm them up.”

Emma shuddered. “God, Alyssa.”

Alyssa kissed her fiercely, short circuiting Emma’s brain, and threaded her hands through the blonde’s hair. Emma’s hands moved of their own accord and she began to lightly squeeze the clothed flesh beneath her fingers. Alyssa gave an appreciative groan and tore her lips from Emma’s.

“You don’t have to keep them there,” Alyssa whispered in her girlfriend’s ear before nibbling on the lobe. “It’s not like they haven’t been under before.”

Emma groaned and let her head fall back against the door as she tried to keep her hormones under control. She couldn’t believe she was doing this, making out with her girlfriend in the bathroom at some party. Just a few months ago, this very scenario would have been impossible; there was no way Emma would’ve even been invited.

Alyssa moved closer until there was no space between them again and trailed open-mouthed kisses down Emma’s throat. “Babe, c’mon,” she whined when Emma didn’t move after a minute.

Emma glanced down to see Alyssa’s blown pupils, her red cheeks. She looked so sexy, and Emma wanted nothing more than to show her girlfriend how much she loved her. But a loud bang from the other side of the door reminded Emma where they were.

Alyssa either didn’t hear the noise or didn’t care because she went back to where she left off and continued to make her way down Emma’s neck, reaching her clavicle. Emma let out a low groan as Alyssa suckled. Heat was pooling low in her abdomen. Maybe they could be quick…

Another crash startled Emma and she jumped slightly, dislodging the brunette from her shoulder.

“What?” Alyssa asked.

“We’re at a party,” Emma pointed out, her voice deep.

“So?”

Emma took a sharp breath in; this rule-breaking Alyssa was so sexy. But still…

“Babe, you’re drunk.”

“And you’re hot,” Alyssa countered. “What’s your point?”

“That I don’t wanna have sex while you’re drunk and I’m sober.”

“What?” A beat passed as Alyssa took in what her girlfriend was saying. Her eyes softened. “You’re not taking advantage of me if that’s what you’re thinking.”

“Well--”

“Emma, I love you and I know you would never do anything I didn’t want you to.”

Emma swallowed thickly. “Okay.”

“And I want this, okay? This…I’m not as drunk as you may think and I promise I’ll remember every detail in the morning.” She brought her lips closer to Emma’s, but Emma backed up slightly.

“Why don’t we go home?” Emma suggested. “I’m sure my grandma is asleep by now.” She mostly wanted to have Alyssa lying down in a bed versus standing in a cramped bathroom in the basement where a party was going on.

Alyssa’s eyes lit up. “Why didn’t you say something sooner?!”

She dragged Emma out of the bathroom and threw goodbyes over her shoulder to her friends as they went through the basement. Emma couldn’t help but laugh as she watched her girlfriend shoulder her way through the party.

“Don’t worry, I’m good to drive,” Emma told Kaylee when the latter gave her a worried look. “I’ll text you when we get back to my grandma’s.”

Kaylee nodded and Emma and Alyssa finally reached the door. Emma couldn’t help but smile as the two hopped in her truck, Alyssa immediately reaching to hold her hand.

Maybe high school parties weren’t so bad after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't drink and drive friends! :)


	15. Once

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alyssa centric. T/W homophobia. All mistakes are mine.

Once, when Alyssa was a child, she saw a young woman in church. She had sleek blonde hair and striking blue eyes, which she winked at Alyssa when she noticed the little brunette staring at her from across the pew. Alyssa grinned and waved excitedly before her mother scolded her for not paying attention to the pastor. Alyssa tried her best, she really did, but her eyes kept drifting to the blonde woman.

“Mommy, that lady was really pretty,” Alyssa said as she was clutching her mother’s hand as they made their way back to the car after the service.

“What’s that, darling?” her mother asked.

“The lady,” Alyssa repeated. “The one with the blonde hair. She’s pretty.”

“I’m sure she is,” her mother said sweetly. “And you’re going to be just as pretty.”

Alyssa hopped into the car and sat still as her mother secured her into her booster seat. “Mommy, can I marry her when I get older?” She didn’t notice how her mother had frozen at the question.

“M-marry who, sweet pea?” her mother asked shakily.

Alyssa gave her an exasperated look. “The woman!”

Her mother shook her head. “No, Alyssa,” she told her daughter sternly. “You can’t marry a woman. That’s against God’s rules. You’re going to marry a man.”

“But…she’s so pretty.”

“No, Alyssa!” And her mother finished settling her in before slamming the door

Alyssa frowned. Her mother rarely shouted at her, only if she were really mad about something. Guilt clawed at her insides. She didn’t say anything the whole ride home and she didn’t mention wanting to marry a woman again.

***

Once, when Alyssa was nine, she heard the word ‘gay’ for the first time. The mean boy in her class, Todd, had said it to Jeremy, one of the nicer boys in Alyssa’s grade who wasn’t into sports. Alyssa didn’t know what the word meant, but she gathered that it wasn’t good based on how Jeremy had shoved Todd after being called it. It was the was the first—but not last—school fight Alyssa had seen.

Alyssa had gone home that day and, naïvely, asked her mother, “What does the word ‘gay’ mean?”

A tense silence enveloped them, and Alyssa was able to pick up on it now unlike when she was younger.

“You don’t need to concern yourself with that, Alyssa,” her mother finally said. “Why are you asking?”

“Some boy called Jeremy that at recess today, and Jeremy got really mad,” Alyssa explained. “I was just wondering what the word meant.”

Her mother was quiet for another moment before sighing. She decided that this could be a teaching moment and that she preferred her daughter to learn the truth about it all and not lies from her peers. “If you must know, ‘gay’ is when a person likes someone of the same gender, like when a man is with another man instead of being with a woman. People like that are going straight to Hell, Alyssa, for not following God’s laws.”

“They…go to Hell?”

“Yes.”

Alyssa frowned and stared at the table as she thought. “Mom, are there gay women too?” Her mother gave a curt nod. “And they go to Hell too?”

“Yes, Alyssa,” her mother huffed impatiently. “A man is supposed to marry a woman, that’s it; that’s the way God intends it. Anyone who doesn’t follow that is not worthy to go to Heaven.”

“But what if they love ea-”

“Alyssa Marie, that is enough!” her mother snapped. “This is irrelevant anyways because you’re going to marry a man when you’re older, a wonderful man.”

Alyssa scrunched her nose. Marrying a man didn’t sound fun; marrying _anyone_ didn’t sound fun.

***

Once, when Alyssa was thirteen, she shared homeroom with a girl named Emma Nolan. She talked to her once. That was it.

***

Once, when Alyssa was at a fair with some friends just before her first year of high school started, she noticed two women kissing. She stopped dead in her tracks and stared. Her friends noticed them, too.”

“Ugh, so gross,” Kaylee groused.

“Yeah, I feel like I’m about to lose that corndog I just ate,” Shelby said.

Alyssa clamped her mouth shut; she was about to ask her friends what they really thought about gay people, but now she knew.

“Don’t you agree, Alyssa?”

The brunette looked to see her friends watching her expectantly. “Huh?”

Kaylee pointed to the two women, who were no longer kissing but strolling away holding hands. “Them.”

“Oh, um, yeah. Totally disgusting,” Alyssa said quietly. She did agree with Shelby; her stomach did feel a little funny, but deep down she knew it wasn’t from disgust.

That night, Alyssa went home and did something she swore she’d never do. After her mother was asleep, she bypassed the parental control on the computer (she was a teenager after all, and just because she hadn’t done it before didn’t mean she didn’t know how) and searched for images of women kissing. Dozens of pictures immediately popped up in front of her eyes. Some showed women who were fully clothed in an innocent enough embrace. Others showed…less.

Alyssa squeaked and quickly closed the browser. Her face was hot and she scolded herself as she rushed back to her bedroom.

“You’re not like them, Alyssa. It’s wrong. People like that go to Hell. You’re not going to Hell.”

Alyssa didn’t need to research anymore on the computer. She learned enough at school about how vile it was to be gay. That year, it became widespread knowledge that Edgewater had its own resident gay. Alyssa really tried, but she just could not stop thinking about Emma Nolan.

***

Once, there was a Thanksgiving Assembly held at school and Alyssa attended to watch. If she were being honest, she didn’t really start paying attention until Emma walked out onto the stage with her guitar.

The song was amazing, and Alyssa was mesmerized. The only thought she had after Emma had left the stage was: I need to get to know her.

***

Once, Alyssa kissed Emma and realized: Holy shit, I’m so gay.

***

Once, Alyssa had a secret girlfriend, and it was wonderful. The girlfriend part, not the secret part (though that was fun sometimes too). Emma made Alyssa’s world light up, and for the first time in her life, she felt truly understood, truly herself.

Alyssa battled every day about coming out. Emma never pressured her, but she knew that Emma would love it if they could walk the halls together holding hands and pecking each other’s cheeks like the other kids. But Alyssa couldn’t get her mother’s voice out of her head; ‘ _People like that are going straight to Hell_.’ Alyssa reasoned, at least Emma would be there too.

***

Once, Alyssa was in high school and the prom had been canceled and everyone was blaming her girlfriend, and Alyssa didn’t know what to do. And then these five New Yorkers had shown up and everything got fixed and she came out to her mother and—

Holy shit, did she just do that? She did; she was out to her mom! And everybody else.

Then she got to go to the most amazing prom with her girlfriend and have the best night of her life.

***

Once, when Alyssa was 19, she and Emma broke up. Turns out going to UCLA while Emma attended NYU was too hard; they were too used to spending all of their time together and now they were lucky if they got two skype dates in a week.

It tore Alyssa apart, but they both agreed that it was for the best, at least for now.

They didn’t get back together.

During her sophomore year, Alyssa slept with six different girls. Some wanted to date her, but she refused; none of them made her feel like Emma did. Her roommate would sometimes question if Alyssa was punishing herself somehow.

“How is me having consensual sex with pretty girls a bad thing?”

“It’s not,” her roommate, April, said. “It’s just…you come home after those and are all gloomy. I know you still miss Emma.”

April and Alyssa had been roommates their freshman year, so the former knew all about their relationship and eventual breakup.

“Of course, I miss her,” Alyssa snapped, not even pretending to deny it. “But she didn’t want to do long distance anymore. So, what am I supposed to do? Just sit around and wait?” Alyssa scoffed. “No, if she gets to do what she wants, then I’m damn well going to do what I want.”

“I agree with all that, and I’m not saying what you’re doing is wrong. I just don’t want you to get hurt again, Alyssa.”

Alyssa laughed bitterly. “I haven’t stopped hurting.”

***

Once, when she was 21, Alyssa was back in Edgewater for the holidays. It had been over a year since she’d been back in Indiana; her mother had decided to come out to sunny California for the holidays the previous year, but couldn’t do it this time, and Alyssa kind of missed the small-town feel.

Alyssa would be lying if she said that she could care less if she happened to see Emma while she was in town. She knew Emma would be home from New York; Kaylee and Shelby had let it slip that Emma always came home to visit her grandmother. Really, Alyssa shouldn’t have been surprised about the events that took place.

After spending her first night back in Edgewater catching up at the bar with Kaylee and Shelby, she had been sent to the local grocery store by her mom to get everything needed for Christmas dinner. Having the new grocery store in town was nice; they no longer had to drive almost a half hour just to get food. However, it wasn’t ideal if one wanted to avoid running into certain people, such as—

“Alyssa?”

\--exes.

“Hey, Emma.”

The two girls were standing in the baking aisle, Emma staring at the brunette in surprise while Alyssa was holding a box of brownie mix.

“You’re home.” It wasn’t a question.

Alyssa nodded. “I am. How’re you? How’s New York?”

“Freezing, but good. The gang’s good, too,” Emma added when Alyssa opened her mouth to ask just that.

“Good. I’m glad,” Alyssa said and found that she actually meant it; she was happy that Emma was doing good.

An awkward silence enveloped them and Alyssa stared down at the box in her hands while Emma shuffled her feet nervously.

“Well, uh, I bett-”

“My grandma’s sick.”

The words hit Alyssa like a ton of bricks, taking the air from her lungs. “What?”

Emma looked to her shoes as she began to ramble. “Yeah, she, uh, has lung cancer. Stage four. She’s still at home. She’s doing okay. My neighbor, Mrs. Grayling, I think you remember her, she’s been taking my grandma to her treatments. I’ve told my grandma I could drop out and move back home, but she yelled at me when I suggested it. You know how she is.”

Alyssa couldn’t help the small quirk of her lips at that last part. Classic Betsy, always being the most stubborn person in the room. “Emma, I’m so sorry to hear that.”

Emma shrugged. “I’m sorry I just blurted that out. I…I haven’t really told anyone, not even Barry. I guess I thought it would be easier to handle on my own.”

Alyssa nodded. “Everyone has their own way of dealing with things like that.” A beat passed. “You said she’s still at home?” Emma nodded. “Can I come see her?”

***

Once, when Alyssa was 21, she went with Emma to visit Betsy Nolan. The woman had become a bit frailer over the years but was still as sharp as ever. She drew Alyssa into a tight hug when she saw her. She spent the evening there, telling Betsy (and Emma) all about UCLA and her life there. She grew more comfortable, and noticed that Emma seemed to relax a bit too. When she left to go back to her mother’s, she welcomed the loving hug from Betsy, and may have been surprised when Emma hugged her too.

***

Once, when Alyssa was 23, she fell in love with Emma Nolan again.

She had finished her undergrad at UCLA and had begun the grueling process of grad school at Columbia. Emma had decided to stay in New York after graduation; there was nothing tying her to Edgewater anymore, not since Betsy had passed the year before. Alyssa had flown in for the funeral.

The two girls, while going on with their separate lives and dating new people, had stayed in touch. By the time Alyssa moved to the city, they considered themselves friends again and began to hang out regularly. And Alyssa felt herself fall for her high school girlfriend. It was so easy to.

She tried to quell the crush since Emma was dating another girl. Granted, it was still very new in the relationship, but Alyssa, even though she would have loved to take the new girl’s place, was not going to do anything to jeopardize Emma’s happiness and their friendship.

But Alyssa didn’t have to take it into her own hands.

She and Emma were having one of their movies nights, avoiding romcoms since Emma had just broken with her girlfriend, and Alyssa had gotten up to go get a glass of water when she felt Emma clasp onto her wrist. Before she could even register what was happening, Emma had tugged Alyssa into her body before spinning her around and kissing her.

‘Surprise’ was an understatement. But that feeling was quickly replaced by love…and lust.

Needless to say, they didn’t finish the movie.

***

Once, when Alyssa was 26, she was the happiest she’d ever been. She was with Emma again and they were going strong. And she had a feeling that her happiness wasn’t going to go away any time soon if tonight went according to plan. After tonight, she would (hopefully) be engaged.

***

Once, when Alyssa was 27, she married the love of her life.

The ceremony was perfect albeit a little dramatic, but that’s what you get when Dee Dee officiates your wedding. The reception was even better; full of dancing and a surprise song that Emma wrote for Alyssa. Alyssa didn’t know how she was going to make it through the rest of the night without dragging her wife (her _wife_!) into the bathroom and showing her just how much she loved that song and her.

The day was perfect, it was theirs. And they were both ecstatic to take on life together.

Bring it on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for doing that to Betsy :( Thanks for reading!


	16. PI AU

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All mistakes are mine.

* * *

Emma swirled around the liquid in her glass, hoping that watching the soothing motion would calm her nerves. She wasn’t a huge fan of meeting people, especially men who made a living of following people and finding out information about them.

She was sitting at the bar, waiting to meet with the private investigator that Dee Dee had hired. Why Dee Dee hadn’t come herself was still confusing to Emma. A lot of things Dee Dee did were confusing to Emma, such as hiring a private investigator in the first place.

When she had asked Dee Dee this, the woman had looked away and sniffed dramatically. “You wouldn’t understand.”

So, Emma went to Barry.

“She thinks that her ex-husband, Eddie, hired one to follow her, so she got one to go after him.”

“Did Eddie hire a PI?”

“No idea, but you know Dee Dee…”

Emma did. After moving to New York after high school and getting a job at the recording studio that Barry and Dee Dee owned, Emma had begun to think of them as family, as well as Angie, Trent, and Sheldon.

But Emma still didn’t understand why she had let herself be convinced to meet the PI instead of Dee Dee.

“Just get through it, Emma,” Emma muttered to herself as she took a sip of her Rum and Coke. She checked her watch. The guy was eight minutes late. Emma surveyed the pub she was in. There were many people milling about, but she had no idea what this guy looked at. Apparently, Dee Dee didn’t either; she just shoved a business card in Emma’s hand earlier before shoving her out the door.

“He goes by G. That’s how he signs all his emails.”

“Wait, you’ve only exchanged emails with this guy?” Emma asked nervously. She glanced down to see a number printed on the card. “You haven’t even talked to him on the phone?”

“You know I don’t like actually talking with people. And what does it matter?”

Emma blanched. “Well, he could be a serial killer or something! What if I get abducted?”

“Then we’ll hire a PI to find you. Go to Xanders, that’s where you’re supposed to meet.”

“Wait, what am I even supposed to talk to him about?”

Dee Dee rolled her eyes. “Just get some info about him, his actual name or something.”

So, Emma was at Xanders, slowly sipping her drink, fiddling with the business card, waiting for some random guy to show up. She checked her watch again. He was now fifteen minutes late. Emma shook her head; this guy was just rude. Should she call him?

No, that was just asking for extra trouble.

She was considering just finishing her drink and leaving when a body bumped into her and she felt cold wetness slithering down her leg. Emma immediately straightened and spotted the dark patch spreading on her pants.

“Oh, my God, I’m so sorry!” a voice said next to her. Emma looked to see an attractive young woman in a fitted blazer and skirt. She could’ve been walking straight out of a court room. She was holding her now near-empty glass and looking at Emma with wide brown eyes. “Are you okay?”

Emma felt her breath catch; this woman was gorgeous. She opened her mouth a couple times, waiting for her voice to kick in. “Um, y-yeah I’m fine.”

The woman glanced down to the spill on Emma’s leg. “Do you want a napkin or something?”

“What?” Emma looked down too. “Oh! Yeah, I’ll just…” She reached for the stack of napkins on the bar and started clumsily patting down the stain.

“God, I’m really sorry,” the woman said again. “Can I get you a drink to make up for my clumsiness?”

Emma paused in her cleaning. Was that a pick up line? She shook her head; no way this beautiful woman was hitting on her. “Um, that’s not necessary.”

“Please, your drink’s almost gone. Unless you were about to leave…” The woman trailed off.

Emma shook her head. “Nope, not leaving. Waiting to meet somebody and they’re not here yet.”

“Boyfriend?”

Emma laughed. “No, no boyfriend.”

“Well, if you’re not leaving, I’d really like to get you a new drink. It would help make me feel less guilty.”

Emma chuckled. “You’re very sympathetic, aren’t you?”

The woman gave a sheepish smile. “Guilty.” She flagged down the bartender and fished some bills out of her purse. “A Tequila Sunrise for me and a Rum and Coke please for my victim here.” She nodded down to the drying dark spot on Emma’s pants.

Emma couldn’t help the giggle that escaped at the woman’s choice of words. “Victim, huh? Can I have a name then of the perpetrator?”

The woman gave a smile. “Alyssa.”

“Emma.”

“Nice to meet you, Emma,” Alyssa said as she slid the new drink to Emma. “I’m sorry again for spilling on you.”

Emma waved her off. “Don’t worry about it. You got me a new drink so call us even.” They clinked glasses and Emma took a sip. She furrowed her brow. How did Alyssa know that she was drinking a Rum and Coke before?

“So, Emma, what do you do for a living?”

“Oh, please don’t feel like you have to make conversation,” Emma said. Alyssa’s friendly smile faded slightly. Emma quickly backtracked. “No! I mean—you…I don’t want you to feel like you have to sit and talk with me just because you accidentally spilled your drink. You’ve redeemed yourself. But if you’d like to talk, then I’m all in.” She took a sip, hoping that the cold drink would help her face from feeling so hot.

Alyssa giggled. “I’m making conversation because I want to,” she said sincerely. She took a sip of her own drink. “Plus, I was stood up and I don’t want this experience to be a total waste.”

Emma’s jaw dropped. “ _You_ got stood up? That’s…that’s just insane. I don’t believe it. The guy is clearly the biggest idiot on the planet. You’re gorgeous-” Alyssa’s cheeks tinted a little at that, but she was watching Emma with amusement. “-and he’s an idiot. And…and I’m going to stop talking before I embarrass myself even further.”

The brunette let out a full belly laugh, and Emma felt a spike of pride go through her, even though she had just rambled.

“Oh, wow, thank you for the compliment,” Alyssa said. “Don’t be embarrassed. I agree; she is a complete idiot.”

Emma’s eyebrows rose. “She?” Alyssa nodded. Emma swirled her glass before blurting out, “Well, I’m into ‘shes’ too.” Her eyes widened in horror; God, what kind of line was that?

“Good to know,” Alyssa said with a smirk. She took a sip of her drink before repeating her question from before. “What do you do, Emma?”

“I work at a recording studio, help write music.”

Alyssa’s eyes lit up. “You do? No way! That’s so cool!”

Emma blushed. “It’s not nearly as glamorous as it seems. But I get to work with some pretty cool people, so it’s alright.”

“Have you written any songs that I would know?”

Emma’s phone buzzed before she could answer and she quickly glanced at it. It was a text from Dee Dee.

**Have you met him yet? Is he trustworthy?**

Emma inhaled sharply. She had completely forgotten that she was supposed to be meeting somebody. She checked the time again; it was forty minutes past the designated time. Well, so much for that. Emma felt slightly bad for the guy; she would never want to be on the receiving end of Dee Dee’s wrath.

“Everything okay?” Alyssa asked.

Emma brought her head up. “Yeah, sorry. Just my friend checking on me. I…I was supposed to meet somebody here on her behalf, but he didn’t show so…” She quickly texted Dee Dee just that before slipping her phone back into her pocket.

“Ah, so we both got stood up.”

Emma smirked. “I’m perfectly okay with it.”

Alyssa shot a playful smile back. “As am I.”

Emma felt her heart speed up. This meeting had turned around in the best way possible.

The two spent the next hour exchanging stories and fun facts with each other. Emma learned that Alyssa was a lawyer originally from Indiana, just like her, and that she had an uncontested love for pandas. After Alyssa finished her drink, she checked the time.

“Shoot, I’m sorry Emma, but I really have to go. I’m meeting a client in a half hour.”

Emma nodded in understanding. “Work never stops when you’re a lawyer, does it?”

“Unfortunately not.”

Emma shot down the rest of her drink, hoping the liquid courage would work. “Is there any way I could have your number?” When Alyssa didn’t do anything but look at her, Emma rambled again. “It’s just I feel like we were having a good time, a-and I would like to continue doing…I mean, I would like to see you again and I completely understand if you don’t want that-”

“Emma,” Alyssa interrupted firmly. Emma immediately shut her mouth. “I have no problem with you wanting my number. But you already have it.”

Emma furrowed her brow. “Huh?”

Alyssa laughed before pulling out something from her bag; it was a business card. She slid it across the bar top until it was in front of the other woman.

“Call me some time,” Alyssa said with a wink as she stood up. “And let Dee Dee know that I’ll be in touch.”

Emma stared at the card in disbelief. She scrambled to pull the card Dee Dee gave her out of her pocket. She set the cards side by side. They were the same.

“Holy shit,” she breathed. She snapped her head up to see Alyssa exiting the pub, waving down a taxi. Emma watched her get into the cab and drive off. “Holy shit.”

Alyssa was the PI?!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Was this okay?


	17. Questions (Quotes only)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emma likes to ask questions. Sometimes, Alyssa does too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, so this fic is quotes only. Every line is a switch between Emma and Alyssa. "..." indicates pauses/silence, so count that as a line for the character. All mistakes are mine.

* * *

“So, you like girls?”

“I think the fact that I just kissed you makes that obvious.”

“Cool, cool. Just wanted to make sure.”

“…”

“…”

“…”

“Alyssa?”

“Yeah?”

“Can you kiss me again?”

***

“What do you mean you don’t like Harry Potter?!”

“I never said I don’t like it; I just haven’t read the books.”

“That’s basically the same thing! How have you not read them?”

“You’ve met my mother, Emma. She would never allow me to read or watch anything with witchcraft.”

“That’s ridiculous.”

“I agree.”

“Well, do you want to read them now? Without your mom finding out? I have the whole series. I can let you borrow them sometime.”

“You would do that for me?”

“Of course. It’s an amazing story, and we can talk about it. Plus, wouldn’t it feel incredible to do something against your mom’s wishes?”

“You mean like dating you?”

“…yeah, like that.”

***

“Did you know that M&M stands for Mars and Murrie?”

***

“Alyssa, why don’t you love me?”

“How is me saying that you shouldn’t eat that ghost pepper implying that I don’t love you?”

“Because you’re taking away my opportunity to discover my talent!”

“And your talent is eating ghost peppers?”

“Potentially! I need to try.”

“Fine. Go ahead.”

“…”

“…”

“HOLY FUCK!”

***

“What did you do?”

“What do you mean?”

“When we were broken up. What did you do?”

“…”

“…”

“I cried. A lot. I cried and avoided my mother. I was so angry at her, and at myself. Emma, I’m so sorry that I did that to you.”

“You already apologized for that.”

“Well, I’ll keep doing it, because what I did was unacceptable.”

“While I’m not denying that what you did hurt me, we have to learn to accept what happened and move on. We’re past it now. We’re stronger.”

“…”

“…”

“Sometimes I’m still worried that you haven’t actually forgiven me, and that you’ll wake up one day and realize that you can do so much better than me and leave.”

“I won’t do that. Better than Alyssa Greene? No way.”

“Stop, you’re going to make me cry again.”

“Only tears of happiness.”

***

“Ready to go to New York, babe?”

“Let’s do it, babe.”

***

“Have you ever seen something so big? I can’t believe how huge it is!”

“That’s what she said.”

“Did Alyssa Greene just make a dirty joke?”

“…maybe.”

“Who are you? What have you done with my girlfriend?”

“Oh, hush, Emma. Now c’mon, let’s stop marveling at the size of New York City and get these boxes up to the apartment.”

***

“Do you think that dogs can actually smile?”

“Emma, it’s two in the morning. Please go to sleep.”

“Lys, this is important.”

“…”

“…”

“…”

“Fine. We can talk about it in the morning.”

***

“How are you taking twenty credits this semester? I’m only taking fifteen and I feel like I’m drowning.”

“Some of us are just better. I was valedictorian, remember?”

“Only because I got Bs in gym. Otherwise, that spot would’ve been mine and you know it, Greene!”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah. You keep saying that but which one of us actually came out on top? This gal.”

“…”

“In more ways than one.”

“Oh, my God, stop.”

***

“Do you think I could ever be an assassin?”

“Emma, you feel guilty about killing bugs.”

“That’s fair.”

***

“Hey, I have a question.”

“You always do, babe.”

“Have you ever thought about us getting married?”

“…”

“…”

“…”

“…”

“…”

“Forget I aske-”

“Yes, I do. I guess…I just wasn’t sure where you were at with all that.”

“Oh. Well, um, it’s been on my mind lately. I know we’re not ready for that, or at least I’m not. We’re still in school and everything. But…”

“But what?”

“We’ve just been through so much, and I’m still not tired of you.”

“Aw, how romantic.”

“That came out wrong, but you know what I mean.”

“I do.”

“…”

“…”

“…”

“Hey, Emma? I’m not tired of you either.”

***

“So, you think I should take it?”

“I think that this job offer is amazing, and that you’d learn a lot.”

“But it means moving all the way to California.”

“So, we move.”

“But, the gang’s here.”

“Emma, they would want us to do what’s right for us. They’d understand.”

“See, I don’t know if they would, considering that Barry pulled some strings and got his recording studio buddy to offer me a pretty decent job here in the city after I told him about my phone interview with LA.”

“…”

“…”

“Emma!”

“What?!”

“You were offered a job here? And you didn’t tell me?!”

“It just happened, like yesterday!”

“Yesterday?!”

“Will you stop yelling?”

“…”

“Thank you. Yeah, Marcus, that one friend of Barry’s, looked over my portfolio and liked my songs. His offering’s similar to the LA studio.”

“Well, that changes things. What do you want to do?”

“I think…I wanna stay here.”

“Okay. New York it is.”

***

“What do you think about us getting a dog?”

“No.”

“No? But babe, there’s so many cute ones down at the shelter that need a loving home!

“Don’t try to guilt me into getting a dog.”

“…”

“…”

“…”

“Emma, stop showing me pictures of adoptable dogs.”

“…”

“Emma!”

“Please baby?”

“Oh no, don’t you dare pout! Haven’t you figured it out that that doesn’t work on me?”

“…”

“…”

“…”

“Dammit! Fine, we can get a dog.”

“YES! The pout strikes again!”

“I’m gonna smack you.”

“Violence is never the answer, Alyssa.”

“Shut up. Now get in the bedroom.”

“Why?”

“Because your fucking pout turned me on! Now go!”

***

“Isn’t he so cute, Alyssa?”

“I guess he is.”

“Oh, my God, he just scared himself by farting! He is just too much!”

“…”

“Thanks for agreeing to this. I love you.”

“You better.”

“…”

“I love you, too.”

“Can we name him Oliver? After Trent?”

“Absolutely not.”

“Spoilsport.”

***

“Hey, Emma?”

“Yeah?”

“Will you marry me?”


	18. Recon (Part of Assassin AU)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Picks up right where the Leverage story left off. If you haven’t read that, I suggest you do otherwise you might be a little confused. Also, the first chapter of this story, Assassin, since this is the AU that this takes place in. Also, the first flashback is mainly focused on Alyssa, but the rest of the flashback focuses on Emma.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took me so long to update. I had trouble getting this one out. Hopefully the length makes up for the delay.  
> All mistakes are mine.

**Present Day**

Emma took a deep breath. “Alright, so…” The beeping from the machines was the only noise in the hospital room as Emma pondered on how to start her story. “You know how I’ve been on my own since I was fifteen?” Alyssa nodded. “Well, it wasn’t too long after my grandma died that I was approached by one of my superiors. They took me in, trained me, and that’s how I got into this profession.”

“So, you didn’t have to like apply or anything?” 

Emma glared at her wife. “Very funny.” She shifted in the bed, holding her hand out for Alyssa to take, which she did and bestowed a kiss on it. Emma smiled softly. “I spent the next several years training and doing some minor assignments-”

“You mean killing people,” Alyssa supplied. There was no bite to it, but Emma still winced.

“Very little in those days,” Emma said. “Mostly just tailing people and telling the actual people who would kill them where they were. That’s all I was doing when we first me, tailing. Recon, if you will. You remember how we met, right?”

Alyssa gave her a scandalized look. “Of course, I do, Emma! You ran into me!”

“One could argue that _you_ ran into _me_. You were the one who was distracted after all; you even admitted it!”

* * *

**Flashback: Nine Years Ago**

“Yes, Mom, everything is fine. I’m keeping up with my studies and have been eating healthy.”

Alyssa decided to not tell her mother during their weekly phone call how she had been having ice cream every night with her friends as of late. It was amazing how even though they were hundreds of miles away from each other, her mother could still make her presence known.

“I can hear you rolling your eyes, young lady,” Veronica Greene scolded from the other end of the line. “Don’t be upset just because I want to make sure you’re being healthy.”

Alyssa quickly apologized and started to wind down the conversation. “Well, I’m almost at my class, Mom, so I’m gonna le- oof!”

She had turned the corner of her class’s building and collided with another body. Her phone clattered to the ground.

“Shit, I’m sorry,” said a voice from in front of her. “I came around that corner way too fast.”

Alyssa brought her eyes up to find an attractive young woman with shorter, curly light hair and piercing hazel eyes behind a thick pair of glasses. She felt her jaw drop slightly. This girl was gorgeous.

“Uh, no,” Alyssa blurted before she composed herself and gave a smile. “Don’t worry about it; it was totally my fault. I was on the phone with my mom and wasn’t paying attention.”

“Ah,” the other girl said and bent down to retrieve the brunette’s phone. “Here.”

“Thanks.” Alyssa glanced down to check for scratches when she noticed that her mother was still connected. “Crap,” she hissed before hastily telling her mother bye and hanging up. She looked back to see the other girl peering at her curiously. “What?”

The girl shook her head. “Nothing. It’s just you look familiar. Are you in Sosa’s class?”

“Psychology 101? Yeah, I am.” Alyssa grinned. Something she and this girl could talk about. “I’m actually on my way there now.” The girl tilted her head, confused. “Not his class! Just, um, his office hours. I have some questions on that midterm paper he set us.”

The girl rolled her eyes. “Ugh, yeah, that paper is gonna be brutal. I’m really not looking forward to it.”

The two stared at each other for a moment before Alyssa spoke.

“I’m Alyssa.” She shot out her free hand, which the other girl took. Alyssa couldn’t help but notice how rough her hand seemed; maybe she played guitar or something.

“Emma.”

Alyssa smiled. “It’s nice to meet you, Emma.”

“Likewise.” Emma gave a smirk before taking her hand back. “I won’t keep you from your meeting with Sosa. I’ll see you in class next week, Alyssa.”

Alyssa’s heart fluttered; she like the way Emma said her name. And she also liked the fact that they would see each other again. She turned to watch Emma leave, feeling a lot better about today.

The following Tuesday found Alyssa bouncing on her toes anxiously outside of the lecture hall. Professor Sosa’s psych 101 was to start in ten minutes. It wasn’t uncommon for Alyssa to be early to her classes, but it was weird that she seemed so nervous about it.

“Shit, is there a test or something I forgot about?”

Alyssa whipped her head around, hopeful, but it was only her friend Shelby. Disappointed, Alyssa furrowed her brow. “What’re you talking about?”

“You’re doing your ‘I’m-nervous-because-there’s-an-exam-and-I-feel-like-I’m-going-to-fail-even-though-I-ace-everything’ dance.”

“I don’t ace everything,” Alyssa mumbled. “And I don’t have a dance. But no, there’s no exam as far as I’m aware.”

“So why are you doing your nervous dance?”

“It’s not a dance!” Alyssa protested again. Shelby just smirked. “But if you must know, I’m just a little more excited about this class.”

Shelby narrowed her eyes. “And why’s that?”

“Because I met one of the girls in this class on Friday,” Alyssa explained with a secretive smile.

“Ah, I see.” Shelby gave her a knowing look. “Is she hot?”

“Very.”

“She into girls?”

“I…I actually don’t know,” Alyssa admitted, her shoulders slumping. “I think she is though. I was getting vibes from her.”

Shelby shrugged. “I’m sure you’ll find out soon.”

The girls spent the rest of the time before class started chatting and took their normal seats in the second row when the previous class exited the lecture hall. Alyssa kept glancing to the door, waiting for Emma to come in. But Professor Sosa began his lesson and she still wasn’t there. Alyssa beat down her disappointment and tried to focus on what the professor was saying.

Fifteen minutes into the class, she noticed something out of the corner of her eye and looked up just as she heard, “Is it cool if I sit here?”

It was Emma, giving her a sheepish smile. Alyssa beamed and quickly nodded and moved her backpack. Emma sat and a few minutes later, a scrap of paper was floated onto Alyssa’s laptop.

_I hope I didn’t miss anything too important._

Alyssa smiled shyly, ignoring how Shelby was giving her a sly look, and scribbled, **Nah, just the first few slides.** She paused, bucking up the courage before adding, **I can go over the notes with you after class if you’d like.**

_That’d be great!_

And so, it began.

* * *

**Present Day**

“Wait,” Alyssa interrupted. “You’re telling me that you were on a mission the first time we met?”

Emma nodded. “It was the only reason I was on campus; I wasn’t actually a student.”

The brunette’s eyes widened. “You did all of that homework for nothing?!”

“It wasn’t for nothing; I got to spend time with you.”

Alyssa smiled at her and pecked her cheek. “So, what was your mission?”

“Do you remember that girl Marcy? The one who I said I shared chemistry with?” Alyssa nodded. “The target was her dad, so I had to get close to her in order to learn about him and give my colleague the info he needed.”

A moment passed, and then Alyssa spoke. “When you say get close to her…”

Emma just gave her a guilty look.

* * *

**Flashback**

Emma stared down at her phone, taking in the image of the red-headed girl on it. Marcy Baxter. She was innocent as far as Emma knew, but her father was definitely not, and Emma needed to figure out how her superior was going to get to a safe position to take him out; the guy always seemed to have somebody with him, some bodyguard or something.

Emma was told to become Marcy’s friend, perhaps get an invite to her family’s home so that she could stake out the house and find the weakest points. When Emma learned that Marcy was not opposed to dating women (she wasn’t sure if she was lesbian or other), her job became a little easier; she just had to get Marcy to want to date her.

Emma began the mission within the first week of school starting, walking from building to building to blend in with the other students. Within the first month, she had flirted her way into a first ‘date’ with Marcy. The week after that, she met Alyssa.

That’s where it became difficult.

Emma thought that Alyssa would tire of her after a few weeks, but she didn’t, and even though she knew that she should stop the progression of their relationship, Emma couldn’t bring herself to. She hadn’t felt this way about a person before.

She swiped her phone so that the next picture popped up. Instead of Marcy, it was Alyssa. Wasn’t this just fitting; two pictures of two girls that were in Emma’s life in completely different ways, but only one had Emma’s heart.

Emma sighed and pocketed her phone before striding up to the dorm building. She knocked on Marcy’s door before letting herself in.

“Hey, ready to go to dinner?”

Emma would’ve preferred to just stay in Marcy’s dorm like they normally do, but she knew that the redhead had been getting annoyed with not going out somewhere with Emma, and Emma needed Marcy to want her to stick around. So, she gritted her teeth and took her ‘girlfriend’ to a restaurant off campus—not the same one that she and Alyssa went to on their first date at; that was sacred ground in Emma’s mind.

Emma wasn’t too worried about being caught with another girl by Alyssa or her friends. She knew that the brunette would be in the library studying her ass off for an exam she has in a few days, and that her friends preferred the dining areas on campus in order to save money. Emma was once again thankful that she was getting paid to pretend to be a student instead of paying to be one.

The restaurant was fairly busy, and Emma and Marcy were led to a small table in the corner near the restrooms. Emma planted herself in the seat that was against the wall, always wanting to see the whole room. The dinner went without a hitch, the girls trading stories about their weeks, and Emma was just finishing her chicken when Marcy spoke.

“So, my parents want to meet you.”

Emma’s heart quickened. This was it, the opening she had been working towards for weeks. She brought her eyes up to see Marcy’s green ones watching her closely and asked casually, “Oh, um, they do?”

Marcy nodded. “I understand if it makes you uncomfortable, but my mom won’t stop badgering me about meeting my girlfriend.”

Emma froze. “Girlfriend?” she echoed dumbly. She felt like she had been smacked. Marcy had said she was her girlfriend, and it felt so wrong.

Marcy frowned. “Um, yeah. I mean, I think that’s what we are. Are we not?”

Emma mentally kicked herself; of course, Marcy thought they were dating. That was the whole point! “No, no, that’s not what I meant.”

“So, we are girlfriends?”

Emma opened her mouth to respond but then a movement behind Marcy caught her eye, and she immediately pushed herself up against the wall.

_What the fuck._

“Excuse me?”

Emma snapped her eyes back to find Marcy peering at her curiously.

Oh, had she said that out loud?

“Uhh…” Emma blinked several times, trying to clear her head which had just shutdown.

She most definitely did not just see Alyssa enter the restaurant with her friends. Absolutely not. No way in hell. The universe wasn’t that cruel.

Emma leaned to see behind Marcy again. Apparently, the universe was that cruel though, because sure enough, that was the back of Alyssa’s head twenty feet away.

“Emma? Are you okay?”

She barely registered the words. “Fine,” she said absently.

She shrunk down in her seat slightly, making sure that neither Alyssa nor her friends could see her. She stared at her plate, feeling Marcy’s curious gaze on her. She couldn’t have this conversation about being girlfriends; not while Alyssa was near.

“Emma? What’s wrong? You look like-”

“I need to use the restroom!” Emma blurted out and dashed from her seat before Marcy could respond. She quickly rounded the corner where the bathrooms were, making sure to keep her head down and praying that Alyssa and her friends were doing the same.

The restroom was empty when Emma entered. She didn’t even glance at the mirror before locking herself in one of the stalls. She leaned against the door, taking a deep breath.

_Alright, Emma, just breathe. Everything is fine. You’ve been in worse situations than this. Granted, they didn’t involve a girl that you really, really like, but still. You’re a trained assassin for God’s sake! Get your act together!_

Emma’s phone vibrated and she fished it out of her pocket. It was a text from Alyssa.

**Hey, look who actually got out!**

It was attached with a picture of Alyssa and her friends Shelby and Kaylee at the restaurant. She had a huge grin on her face. She looked so happy. Emma couldn’t help but smile, until she remembered that the picture was taken within the same building that she was in.

Emma pocketed her phone, returning her focus to the problem at hand. There was an easy solution to all of this; she just had to get Marcy and her out of the restaurant without being seen by Alyssa.

Easy.

She undid the lock on the stall and stepped out just as the door to the restroom swung open and she heard a familiar voice. Shelby’s voice. She darted back into the stall and barely resisted the urge to punch the wall; the universe was _really_ fucking with her today.

“-not sure what she thinks.” Emma heard the tail end of Shelby’s sentence as she entered the restroom fully.

“I don’t know,” another voice chimed in. Kaylee, Emma recognized. “I think she’s wasting her time with her. I mean, she hasn’t asked her out yet, right?”

“No,” Shelby admitted from the stall next to Emma’s. “Alyssa’s getting impatient.”

Emma perked up; they were talking about Alyssa.

“Exactly!” Kaylee called from where she was checking her reflection at the sinks. “If I were her, I would kick Emma to the curb and go out with Jen. I mean, Jen’s made her intentions crystal clear. Emma is just stringing her along.”

Emma felt her stomach clench.

What? There was another girl trying to date Alyssa? But…that’s what she wanted to do.

“I don’t think she is,” Shelby said. Emma barely registered the words; all she could think about was Alyssa and how she may have just blown her chance. “I think Emma likes her. She’s just being an idiot.” Well put, Shelby. “Plus, Alyssa’s said she’s way more into her than Jen.”

Emma’s stomach loosened a bit at that. The toilet flushed next to her.

“I know,” Kaylee said as Shelby washed her hands. “I just don’t want her to get hurt like last time.”

 _Neither do I,_ Emma thought as she heard Kaylee and Shelby leave the restroom.

She steeled herself and exited the restroom a few minutes later. She headed back to Marcy.

“Can we leave? I’m not feeling too well,” Emma lied. She flagged down their waiter, paid for the meal and the two headed out, not being seen by Alyssa, who was sitting at the other end of the restaurant with her friends.

* * *

**Present Day**

“And the next day, I went over to your dorm and asked you out.”

Alyssa stared at her wife with an unreadable expression before leaning over and pinching her arm.

“Ow!” Emma yelped. “What was that for?”

“Cheating,” Alyssa replied simply, settling back in her chair. “You cheated.”

Emma sighed. She knew that Alyssa was going to get hung up on that. “Baby, I didn’t like her like that. It was my job. I had to get close to her in order for-”

“Oh, not Marcy,” Alyssa interrupted. “I’m not talking about that, though I’m not too thrilled about it. No, I’m talking about how you asked me out.”

Emma blinked, confused. “What?”

“You asked me out after you heard my friends talking about it. That’s cheating.

Emma gaped at her for a few seconds. “How is that cheating?”

“You knew that I would say yes!”

“So?”

Alyssa mumbled something incoherently. Emma raised an eyebrow. “What was that?”

Alyssa looked at her. “I wanted to be the one to ask you out,” she revealed.

Emma furrowed her brow. “Then why didn’t you?”

“I didn’t know if you were into girls!”

Emma chuckled lightly. “C’mon, Lys, you’re not that oblivious.”

The brunette rolled her eyes. “Yeah, well.” She settled back in her chair and crossed her arms. “What happened next?”

Emma glanced to the ceiling, collecting her thoughts. “Well…”

* * *

**Flashback**

Emma stood on the front porch of Marcy’s parents house, Marcy’s hand grasped tightly in her own, squeezing softly.

“Just relax,” Marcy said. “They’re gonna love you.” She pecked Emma’s cheek and the latter barely restrained a grimace; this all felt so wrong.

It had been over two months since the restaurant fiasco, which coincided with Emma having the best nine weeks of her life thanks to Alyssa being her girlfriend. It was difficult, juggling her real girlfriend with her fake one, but she hadn’t been caught so far. That didn’t stop the guilt that clawed at her insides whenever she was with Marcy, though; she still felt like she was cheating on Alyssa, even though this was all for a job.

Marcy squeezed Emma’s hand again, bringing her back to the present just as the door in front of them swung open.

Jane Baxter, Marcy’s mother, was a lovely woman, Emma decided. After spending only twelve minutes in her company, Emma was positive that Jane, just like her daughter, was blissfully unaware of how her husband actually made his money. This was the worst part of the job; knowing that innocent loved ones of the target were the ones who truly suffered. Emma almost didn’t want to go through with her mission, didn’t want to uproot the woman’s life, but she knew she had to.

Jane took Emma on a quick tour of the house, Marcy tagging along and pointing out things. Emma took it all in, smiling and giggling when she saw a couple pictures of Marcy from when she was younger. She was also searching for something, anything, that she could report to her superior that would be helpful; this was the whole point of her mission, the whole point of everything.

Emma followed the two redheads down a hallway that led to multiple bedrooms, glancing around. She noticed a long rectangle in the ceiling; a staircase to an attic perhaps.

“Emma, dear,” Jane began and Emma snapped her eyes to the woman. “You’ll be in the guest room here.” She pointed to the room on the left.

Emma beamed. “Thanks, Mrs. Baxter.” She gestured up to the ceiling. “You guys have one of those attics that has a staircase coming down just like in ‘Hey Arnold!’.”

Marcy glanced up too. “Yeah, that’s dad’s study. More like his mancave really. No one’s allowed up there.”

Bingo.

“My uncle Benny had a room like that,” Emma said, remembering her cover. “He would keep his model airplanes up there. A strict kid free zone.”

A little while later, Emma excused herself to make a phone call to her ‘grandmother’. “I totally forgot to call her the other day,” Emma lied to Marcy. “I just need a couple minutes to make sure she’s doing okay.”

Marcy didn’t question it and Emma strode back out onto the front porch. She dialed her superior.

“Glickman.”

“It’s Nolan. I’m at his house.” She rattled off the address as she circled the house, hoping to find-Yep, there it was. She told Glickman about the few security cameras around the perimeter and at the doors, and “He has an attic that’s his space, and it looks like a window that leads into it on the north side of the house. That’s the safest route to get in, I think, unless you want Trent to just sneak into the house and pull down the attic stairs.”

“No,” Glickman said. “That is not what we want; you know how clumsy he can be sometimes. Window it is. Good work, Nolan. You should be done within the next couple weeks. We’ll send you a message when it’s official.”

Emma couldn’t help her smile. Finally.

* * *

**Present Day**

Alyssa was staring at her wife, mouth agape. “So, he died?”

Emma nodded. “He was shot nine days later when he was home alone in his attic. It was ruled as a suicide.”

“But it wasn’t.” Emma just gave her a sad smile. She blew out a breath. “And Marcy?”

“She and her mom moved. I don’t know where. She dumped me right before they left. I was right; they had no idea that the man they loved was secretly running a sex trafficking gig in the city.”

Alyssa settled back in the chair, collecting her thoughts. “So, this is what you’ve been doing this whole time? Going on missions, killing people-”

“Only people who are guilty,” Emma interjected. She moved so that she was sitting up more in her hospital bed. “We never go after innocents. If someone offers us a job, we don’t have to take it. I’ve declined multiple assignments because I didn’t think the target deserved to die.”

Alyssa nodded as she let that information soak in. “I still…it’s weird,” she finally said. “I feel like I don’t know you anymore.” There were tears in her eyes and Emma’s heart clenched. She tried to get as close to her wife as possible.

“Baby, I know that it’s hard and that I’m an idiot and that I’ve been lying to you this whole time.” She paused; she was not selling herself here. “But I’m still me. I’m still the super awkward, guitar-playing, allergic to strawberries girl that you married. I still love you more than anything. _That_ has never been a lie.”

“Yeah you just kill people,” the brunette pointed out bitterly.

Emma’s breath left her. What had happened to the woman from an hour ago, the one who didn’t seem that upset? Not that Emma didn’t deserve it of course. “Alyssa…”

Alyssa quickly brushed away the tears that had fallen and waved her off. “It’s fine. Fine. I…I just need some time to process. Can you give me that?”

Emma wanted to say no, wanted to tell her that they could get through this, that she wasn’t a bad person. Instead, she said, “Of course.”

Alyssa nodded, gathered her things, gave Emma a loving kiss, and then left. Emma watched her go, her own tears springing to her eyes.

She couldn’t lose Alyssa; she was the only good thing in her life.

After a few minutes, Emma grabbed her phone that was on the table beside the hospital bed and dialed a number. It was answered immediately.

“Glickman.”

“It’s Nolan.”

“Ah, so you’re okay?”

“Physically speaking.”

“Good. I have an assignment for you as soon as you’re-”

“I’m done, Barry.”

There was a pause on the other end. “Done?”

“Yes. Done. I retire.”

Glickman gave a sigh. “Nolan, you know that’s not how this works.”

“Well, that’s how I work. I’ve been putting my wife in danger for far too long,” Emma said sternly. “I’m done. Don’t come after me.”

She hung up on Glickman’s protests.

She didn’t know what would happen once she got out of the hospital. All she knew was that she had to protect Alyssa no matter what, and leaving her job was the first step in doing that.

She could handle whatever came next, as long as she had Alyssa.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eh, it's not as good as I had hoped; I just got so tired of staring at it. Hope you liked it, though!


	19. Spider

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emma doesn't like spiders.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All mistakes are mine.

Alyssa trudged up the four flights of stairs, cursing the broken elevator with every step. Normally, she wouldn’t mind climbing the stairs to her and Emma’s tiny apartment, but her day had been brutal.

Scratch that; her whole week had been brutal. Why did she think that juggling grad school and her secretary job at the law firm would be a good idea?

Alyssa rounded the corner of the stairwell, some relief flowing through her at the knowledge that her home was just at the top. Her home which contained her cozy, comfortable bed and amazing girlfriend, which is all she wanted right now. The brunette began the ascent and was halfway up when she heard it: a muted scream followed by the shattering of glass coming from her apartment.

Alyssa’s blood ran cold. She couldn’t help the scenarios that flashed through her mind as she bounded up the last steps and to the door.

“Emma!” Alyssa called as she jiggled the doorknob, finding it locked. She fished out her keys. “Emma, are you alright?”

Emma didn’t answer her. Instead, she yelled out, “You stay there, mister! Don’t come any closer!”

Alyssa’s heart sped up as fear gripped her. Who was in there with her girlfriend?

The lock finally clicked, and Alyssa burst through the door.

“Emma!” She whipped her head around the space and froze when she found her girlfriend-

-standing on top of the kitchen table?

“Uhh…”

“Babe!” Emma shrieked, noticing the brunette standing in the entryway. “Kill it!”

“Wha-” Alyssa broke off as she followed Emma’s finger, which was pointing at a small, black spider on the kitchen floor. Relief flooded the brunette as she finally put the pieces together. She chuckled. “Really, Emma? You jumped on the table because of a teensy spider?”

“Teensy?” Emma echoed in disbelief. “It’s huge!” Alyssa opened her mouth, but Emma spoke over her. “Don’t you dare make a ‘that’s what she said’ joke right now!”

Alyssa snapped her mouth shut. She held up her hands in surrender. “Alright, alright.”

“Kill it!” Emma demanded again. Her eyes remained glued to the arachnid, and when it scuttled a bit closer to the table, she screeched, “What did I say about moving? Stay there!”

Alyssa giggled and rolled her eyes at her girlfriend. In doing so, she spotted the pieces of broken glass near the stove. “Can I clean up the glass first?”

“No!” Emma said, her eyes still not leaving the spider. “You have to kill this terror first.”

“Terror? Really? Emma, he’s tiny.”

“I don’t care! Get rid of it!”

Alyssa assessed the situation in front of her. She smirked, realizing the control she had now. “Fine, I’ll get rid of it. But you have to do something for me.”

“Anything!”

“You have to marry me.”

Emma rolled her eyes. “Fine, whatever. Just get rid of it already!”

Alyssa giggled again and went to grab a napkin. She coaxed the spider onto it.

This wasn’t the first time one of them had ‘proposed’. Being together for over five years, the pair had of course talked about marriage. However, they agreed they weren’t ready and spent the next couple of years ‘proposing’ marriage when the other was in a vulnerable position, making a joke. It was all Emma’s fault; she started it, and the joke had kept up over the years and Alyssa was not about to waste an opportunity. Especially since Emma had ‘proposed’ the last two times.

“What’re you doing?” Emma questioned from where she was still perched on the table. “Why aren’t you killing it?!”

“I don’t need to kill him, Emma. I’m just going to take him out into the hall. Evicting him from his home is punishment enough, don’t ya think?”

“No,” Emma muttered darkly. Alyssa ignored her and carried the napkin to the door.

As she set the poor, innocent spider on the carpeted floor of the hallway, she began to think. Why weren’t she and Emma getting married? Sure, they had discussed it and concluded that they weren’t ready, but that was years ago. Now, they were about to graduate college, and both had jobs lined up for afterwards. Why were they waiting? Did Emma not want to get married?

Alyssa shook the thought away; Emma was the one who brought marriage up in the first place, which meant that she wanted to marry Alyssa. The brunette stood back up and re-entered their apartment. Emma was in the process of stepping back down to the floor, one foot still on one of the chairs just in case Alyssa was pranking her and she had to jump back up to safety.

Upon noticing Alyssa’s furrowed brow, Emma frowned. “What’s wrong? Did you accidentally smush the spider or something? Cause that is nothing to worry about.”

“No, it’s just…” Alyssa trailed off and crossed her arms over her chest. A few beats passed and Emma began to worry.

“Lys-”

“Why aren’t we engaged?” Alyssa blurted out.

Emma froze. “What?” she breathed out. Her brain had just screeched to a halt.

“Why aren’t we engaged?” Alyssa repeated. “I mean, I know we talked about it and agreed that we weren’t ready, but that was years ago.”

“Babe-” Emma tried, but the brunette kept rambling.

“And we’re about to graduate college and we have jobs lined up in the city, and we both love it here.” Alyssa took a breath. “And...I want to marry you.”

Silence.

Emma was staring at her, bewildered, and Alyssa’s insides began to churn. Was she wrong? Did Emma not want that? Did she not want to marry her?

“Uh,” Alyssa got out. “Unless that’s not what you want t-”

“Don’t you dare finish that sentence,” Emma interrupted harshly. Alyssa clamped her mouth shut in surprise. Emma let out a tired sigh and smiled at her girlfriend fondly. “Alyssa Greene, you take the fun out of everything.”

That was…not what she had been expecting. Take the fun out of everything?

She opened her mouth to ask what Emma meant but the latter brushed by her and out of the kitchen. Alyssa watched her go, very confused, not to mention hurt. She was debating on calling Angie and asking if she could crash there tonight when Emma swept back in.

And she was holding a small, black box.

Alyssa’s eyes widened as her breath caught. Holy fuck.

Emma stopped in front of her, keeping her attention on the box as she fiddled with it. “I’ve been holding onto this for longer than I care to admit.”

“Emma,” Alyssa breathed out, tears in her eyes as realization dawned on her.

Emma brought her eyes to the brunette’s. They’re clear, and when she spoke, her voice was steady and sure. “I’m sorry that I made you think I wasn’t serious about this. About marriage. I’ve wanted to marry you for so long, Alyssa,” she explained desperately. “It’s…kinda embarrassing, how long it’s been.” Alyssa’s breath hitched.

Emma glanced down and took one of Alyssa’s hands. “I love you more than anything, even when you’re constantly correcting my grammar.” Normally, Alyssa would laugh, but she was still in shock over what was happening. Emma continued. “You have made me happier than I ever thought I could be, and I want nothing more than to be your wife.”

With that, she flipped open the lid. Alyssa gasped as she took in the sparkling ring. It was simple; a white gold band channeled with smaller stones and a round cut diamond nestled at the top. It wasn’t overly large, which Alyssa loved; it was perfect. She stared at the ring, speechless.

Emma cleared her throat. Alyssa looked to her. “That was all to say, I mean, _ask…_ Alyssa Greene, will you marry me? Like, for real marry me?”

Alyssa shuddered out a breath; she couldn’t believe what was happening. Did Emma just propose to her?

“Uh, baby? Shit, I forgot to kneel. Hold on.”

Emma moving downward snapped Alyssa out of her head and she pulled Emma upwards forcefully and locked eyes with Emma to see a sliver of panic in them.

“Oh,” Alyssa said when she realized that she hadn’t given an answer yet. “Yes! A thousand times yes!”

A relieved smile broke out on Emma’s face and she squeezed Alyssa’s hand. “Yeah?”

Alyssa answered by cupping her cheeks and pulling her into a deep kiss. Emma wrapped her free hand around the brunette’s waist, her other hand still clutching the ring box.

“Lys,” she muttered between kisses. “Do you want to try it on?”

Alyssa’s eyes lit up and she held out her left hand as she drew away. Emma slid the ring on, where the diamond glittered; it was absolutely gorgeous and fit perfectly. They both stared at it, taking in the moment.

“I…we’re engaged,” Alyssa stated awestruck. “You’re my fiancée.”

Emma beamed and nodded. “Mmhhmm,” Emma said. “And you’re mine.”

“God, that feels good,” Alyssa growled and latched onto her fiancée’s (fiancée!) wrist and tugged her to their bedroom.

* * *

“How long?”

Alyssa’s voice pierced the comfortable silence that had enveloped the pair. They were under the covers, Alyssa’s bare body tucked close to Emma’s, whose arm was wrapped loosely around the brunette’s shoulders, her fingers brushing light strokes to the skin.

Emma didn’t open her eyes as she asked, “How long what?”

Alyssa continued to idly trace patterns across the other girl’s stomach. “How long have you had the ring? How long have you wanted to propose?”

Emma’s hand stilled. Her cheeks tinted pink. “Um, well…I’ve had the ring for over a year.”

Alyssa gasped and shifted until she was leaning on an elbow. She stared at her fiancée. “Over a year?!”

Emma gave a sheepish smile. “I didn’t know how to do it! And I was afraid that you would say no.”

Alyssa’s eyes softened. “Why on earth would I say no?”

Emma shrugged. “I don’t know. We started that whole fake proposing thing and-”

“Pretty sure _you_ started the fake proposing,” Alyssa pointed out. She felt Emma tense beside her.

“Yeah, about that.” She paused. “That first time I said it, I may or may not have been, um, asking for real.”

Alyssa stared at her, her gears turning as she tried to remember the time Emma first asked it. Then she frowned.

“Emma, we were in the middle of sex the first time you asked.”

“What can I say? I’m a passionate woman.”

Alyssa barked out a laugh and leaned down to kiss Emma. “That you are, love.” She kissed her again. “I can’t wait to marry you.”

“Good, cause I can’t wait to see you at the end of that aisle. And to tell my grandma that you’re wearing my ring.”

“Ten bucks says she smacks you upside the head for taking so long.”

Emma immediately shook her head. “No bet.”

Alyssa pouted. “Why not?”

“Cause that’s for sure gonna happen! My grandma’s been asking me when we were gonna get married before we even started dating!”

The brunette shook her head fondly. “Ah, in true Betsy fashion.”

“Yeah,” Emma grumbled. She latched onto Alyssa’s fingers, twisting them so she could bestow a kiss on the diamond. “At least it’s finally happening, huh?”

Alyssa grinned. “It’s finally happening.” She laid back down and cuddled into her fiancée. “I wonder what the Broadway gang is gonna do.”

Emma frowned. “They’re gonna throw us the most ridiculous engagement party.”

“Can Dee Dee officiate?”

“Only if you want her to sing everything.”

Alyssa quirked her lips up. “I wouldn’t-”

“No,” Emma interrupted. “Dee Dee is not going to officiate.

“Fine.” She squeezed Emma. “Thanks for asking me.”

“Thanks for saying yes.”

“As if I would say anything but.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Were you expecting that?


	20. Tattoo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> High T/M rating at the beginning. All mistakes are mine.

* * *

Emma’s not entirely sure how she got here.

Well…that wasn’t true. She knew how she ended up in this position, she just thought it wouldn’t happen again in her wildest dreams.

‘This position’ being underneath a topless Alyssa while the two kissed fiercely in Emma’s bedroom.

After breaking up three years prior, Emma thought that Alyssa would never want to see her again, let alone kiss her again.

Apparently, she was wrong, and she had never been happier to be wrong.

There had been a five-year reunion for her graduating class, and by that, it was really just an excuse for Kaylee and Shelby to throw a party where everyone could legally drink. Most of her classmates hadn’t changed.

Emma almost didn’t go; she hadn’t been looking forward to seeing everyone, especially Alyssa.

However, four hours and several drinks later, Emma wasn’t complaining.

Alyssa broke away from Emma’s lips to trail her own down the blonde’s throat, sucking lightly. Emma let out a groan and lifted herself off the bed slightly when she felt Alyssa reach her hands beneath her to unclasp her bra. Once it was off, Emma gasped as Alyssa cupped her breasts.

“God, I missed this,” Alyssa panted hotly into Emma’s neck, fingers brushing expertly over Emma’s nipples. Emma moaned and reached behind Alyssa’s back, looking for the bra clasp; she needed to feel more of the brunette.

Alyssa moaned once Emma had finished her task and felt her own breasts being touched. “Emma…”

Emma’s breathing was ragged. It was so hot; the air was thick with their breath and arousal. The alcohol coursing through their veins probably didn’t help.

Alyssa redirected her lips to Emma’s torso, kissing hotly across her clavicles, sternum, and lower before enveloping a nipple in her mouth. A moan was ripped from Emma and her hips gave an involuntary jerk.

“Jesus, Alyssa!”

The brunette gave an appreciative groan and moved her mouth to the other breast. Emma had her head thrown back into the pillows, eyes closed as she panted. She still couldn’t believe this was happening.

She felt Alyssa lift her head away. And then she felt the brunette tense.

Alyssa bit off a curse and scrambled off of the bed. Emma blinked her eyes open to see that her arms were empty. Why were her arms empty? Where did all the soft skin go? In a daze, she realized that Alyssa was standing at the foot of the bed, staring in shock at Emma’s chest.

Fear gripped the blonde and she looked down at herself. “What? Is there something on me?”

“No, it’s just…” Alyssa cleared her throat and gestured with her hand to Emma’s chest. “You have a tattoo.”

“Oh.” Emma brought a hand to rest over the small, black word that was printed on the left side of her ribcage. “Yeah. I got it a couple years ago after my grandma died.”

Alyssa’s eyes snapped up to the other girls. “Your grandma died?”

“Yeah, a few summers ago.” Emma propped herself up on her elbows. “Can’t we talk about this later? Get back to what we were doing?” She didn’t want to sound desperate, but this was the first time she had been like this with Alyssa in several years and she was only thinking about one thing, and it didn’t involve talking.

“No.”

“No?” Emma echoed, furrowing her brow.

“No. I mean, yes! But no. It’s just..." Alyssa cut herself off with a noise of frustration. She brought her arms up to cover her naked chest before turning around so that all Emma could see was her back. Emma felt her heart clench at the knowledge that Alyssa was uncomfortable being bare in front of her.

“I want to continue, but...” Alyssa said as she began moving around the room with purpose. After a minute, she found what she was looking for and pulled on her bra. Emma didn’t like the fact that the other girl’s breasts were now covered but she knew that now wasn’t the time to complain. Something was clearly bothering Alyssa. If she would just tell her- “You have a tattoo.”

Emma blinked. Didn’t they just talk about this? And since when did Alyssa care about tattoos?

“Um, I’m sorry? Is that what’s bothering you? Cause it’s kinda permanent and I-”

“It’s not about the tattoo!” Alyssa snapped. “It’s the fact that you have one and I didn’t know about it. A tattoo in memory of your grandma who has died which I didn’t know about either. I don’t know anything about you! Is your favorite color still green? Do you have a new favorite food? Is your name still Emma?” She stared at the other girl, breathing heavy after her outburst. “I…I don’t know who you are anymore. And...”

“And you don’t want to do anything with me because of it,” Emma finished knowingly.

Alyssa nodded and brought her arms up to cover herself once again. “I can’t. I’m sorry, but it’s too different now.”

“Hey, no, don’t apologize.” Emma slid off the bed to approach her, but turned at the last minute to retrieve their shirts. She handed Alyssa’s hers before pulling her own on. “I’m sorry that you feel like you don’t know me. But you do, Lys. Even though some things have changed over the years, you still know me better than most of the people I’ve met.” Alyssa gave a small smile at that.

Emma continued. “If being friends is all you want out of this, I’ll do it. I won’t like it, but I’ll do it. I want you in my life in whatever way you want to be in it. So, if that means being friends again and relearning about each other, I’m in.”

Alyssa gave a sad smile. Her eyes were glistening but no tears had fallen. “Thank you,” she said. “I want you in my life too. But we have to do it right.”

Emma nodded. “Then let’s do it right.” She gave her a grin before brushing past her and out of the room. Alyssa stared at the closed door in confusion.

What? Weren’t they going to talk? And wasn’t this Emma’s room?

A knock interrupted Alyssa’s thought and she answered it with a furrowed brow. Emma greeted her on the other side with a smile and thrust out her hand.

“Hi. I’m Emma Nolan and I’d like to be your friend.” Alyssa rolled her eyes but let out a laugh and shook Emma’s hand, introducing herself. Emma went on. “A little birdy told you were here and had some questions. Yes, my favorite color is still green. My favorite food is still pasta. And yes, my name is still Emma. Oh, and I have a tattoo. I hope that doesn’t bother you.”

Alyssa giggled again and pulled on the blonde’s hand which was still clasped in hers. “Why don’t you come in and we can talk about it.”


	21. Umbridge

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay in updating. I've had major writer's block and then I went on vacation, but I'm back now! Don't worry, I am going to finish this alphabet series; some of these last letters are a little tricky though. Your patience is appreciated :)

* * *

Alyssa gritted her teeth as she wiped dry the last plate. Part of her was worried that she was going to crack the plate with how hard she was gripping it. Another part of her knew that she probably wasn’t strong enough for that. And yet another part of her felt like the Hulk; her anger fueled her strength, and she had a lot of anger.

Her day had started so great; she got to wake up in Emma’s arms, the subway wasn’t obscenely crowded so she got a seat, and there had been a man walking his dog in front of her work so she got to pet the animal. But then work started and shit hit the fan.

Ten hours later, she walked into her apartment and instead of being greeted by her lovely girlfriend like she desperately wanted, she was greeted by the mountain of dishes in the sink, ones that had been there for better part of two days. Alyssa knew that it wasn’t all on Emma; she herself could’ve done some of the dishes yesterday, but she also knew that Emma had not worked that day like she did and that her day had been wide open.

_Yet she couldn’t wash a single fucking dish,_ Alyssa thought to herself as she finished the last plate. Emma wasn’t home; Alyssa wasn’t sure where she was, but Emma had just texted saying that she was on her way home so Alyssa wasn’t worried. Instead, she was livid. She was tired and grumpy, not to mention starving, and she had come home to a messy kitchen with no food even though her girlfriend had been free all day. Alyssa would’ve let it go, but this was far from the first time Emma had not helped out around the apartment.

Alyssa had just finished wiping down the counter when the door opened and her girlfriend strolled in.

“Hey!” Emma greeted happily and slipped off her shoes before padding over to the brunette and wrapping her in a hug. Alyssa didn’t hug back; Emma didn’t notice. “How was work?”

“Awful,” Alyssa growled.

Emma released her girlfriend. “What happened? Was Brian being annoying again?”

“He’s always being annoying,” Alyssa grumbled. “But that doesn’t matter. Where were you?”

“I was with Barry,” Emma responded. She tugged open the fridge before ducking her head in. “Huh, there’s hardly any food left.”

Alyssa snapped. “Of course, there’s no food! Because you didn’t go grocery shopping, or do the dishes, or take out the fucking trash!"

Emma appeared again from inside the fridge. “What?”

“The dishes, Emma!” Alyssa roared, gesturing to the now empty sink. “You had the whole day off and you didn’t do them! You didn’t do anything!”

Emma frowned. “I-”

“Seriously, Emma, how difficult is it to clean every once in a while?” Alyssa hadn’t meant to go off, but she was furious and it was like a dam had been broken; everything just came spilling out. “I’m always the one doing the housework! Which sucks cause _I’m_ the one who busts my ass ten hours a day at work! And then I have to come home and do more work!”

Emma’s cheeks flushed with anger and she clenched her jaw, not liking being attacked. “I work too!” she defended. “And it wouldn’t be so difficult to help if you weren’t such an Umbridge about everything,” she shot back.

Alyssa flinched back and narrowed her eyes. “What did you just call me?” Her voice was low and icy.

“Umbridge!” Emma repeated. “You know, that insanely controlling woman from Harry Potter? Who just needs everything to go her way? That’s you.” Emma barked out a humorless laugh. “I can’t even vacuum the living room without you telling me how I’m doing it wrong.”

The brunette stepped back, her eyes searching Emma’s as a different emotion began to take over. “Am I really that controlling?” she asked quietly.

“Yes!” Emma blurted out, not noticing how her girlfriend’s face had fallen.

Tears sprang to Alyssa’s eyes and she took a shuddering breath. Emma’s eyes widened and her anger dissipated instantly, regret pouring over her.

“Wait, Lys-”

But Alyssa had already rushed from the kitchen and a few seconds later Emma heard their bedroom door slam shut.

Emma sighed. “Fuck.” She hastily walked to the door and jiggled the knob. It was locked. “Baby?” Her voice was soft. There was no answer. “Lys, please open the door. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it. You’re not controlling; you’re amazing.” She rested her head against the wood. “And I love you so much.”

There was still no answer. Emma couldn’t hear anything on the other side; she couldn’t tell if Alyssa was crying or not. Either way, Emma felt like the biggest asshole. She thunked her head on the door lightly.

“I’ll give you space,” she promised. “Just know that I’ll be here whenever you need me.”

With that, she slumped down to the floor, leaning her back against the door. She and Alyssa didn’t fight often, but Emma had learned that when the brunette was angry or upset, she usually needed time to herself, time to think everything over and internalize; opposite to Emma, who tended to get angry quickly, but then get over it quickly too. When Alyssa was ready, she would come out, and Emma would be there when she did.

Twenty minutes later, though it felt like a lot longer, the lock clicked and the door creaked open. Emma scrambled up from where she had shifted positions to sit against the wall. Tears still shimmered in Alyssa’s eyes and Emma’s heart clenched; she hated it when Alyssa cried.

“Lys, I’m sor-”

“Don’t apologize,” Alyssa interrupted softly. “You didn’t do anything wrong.”

Emma furrowed her brow. “I thought that was exactly the problem in the first place. I don’t do anything to help out.”

Alyssa shook her head. Her gaze fell to the ground. “No, it wasn’t you. It was me. You’re right, I’m too controlling, too bossy.” She paused. “I’m too much like my mom.”

“What? Baby, that’s not-”

“Don’t tell me it’s not true,” Alyssa said. “I know I’m turning into her.” The words were said with no emotion; Alyssa just accepted it. She was going to be her mother. Hopefully she wouldn’t be so strict with her future child when it came to schoolwork. But the brunette doubted that; she was already so stringent with her own girlfriend.

“And you think that’s a bad thing?”

Alyssa’s eyes snapped up to her girlfriend’s. “I-wh-what do you mean?”

Emma gave her a small smile. “Babe, your mom isn’t a horrible person. You could turn into someone a lot worse, but that’s not happening anyways.”

“How could you say that?” Alyssa said. “I’m strict and overbearing a-and boss you around an-”

“Woah, hold on,” Emma interrupted. “You don’t boss me around and you’re not overbearing,” she said firmly. She cupped her girlfriend’s cheeks. “Lys, you’re amazing. And, yes, you prefer to be in control, but there’s nothing wrong with that. You know what you want and you go for it, that’s called being driven and I love that about you.” A few more tears slipped out of Alyssa’s eyes. “I meant it when I said your mother isn’t a horrible person. Sure, she’s done some things in the past that weren’t the best, but she also raised you pretty much single handedly and did an amazing job. And she’s still around and accepts you now.”

Alyssa choked out a sob. It was true; her mother did accept her in every way now. She had invited Emma over for Thanksgiving multiple times. She had even told Alyssa that she thought of Emma almost as a second daughter now.

Alyssa sniffled. “I guess she’s alright.”

Emma smiled again. “She’s great.” A small part of her couldn’t believe that she had just complimented the woman who made her life hell three years ago. She kissed Alyssa’s forehead. “But she’s nothing compared to you.”

Alyssa chewed her lip. “So, you don’t think I’m an Umbridge?”

Emma winced. “You’re absolutely not. I should’ve never said, I’m sorry.”

“I’m sorry that I yelled at you.” She wrapped her arms around Emma’s waist. “I’ve just been stressed and the dirty dishes set me off.”

“I’m sorry that I didn’t do the dishes, or any chores for that matter. I got distracted and then Barry asked me to a late lunch to catch up, and time got away from me. I promise to try to be better about cleaning.”

Alyssa smiled. “I appreciate that, and I’ll work on not being so picky with things, and being bossy.”

Emma rolled her eyes. “You’re not bossy!”

Alyssa put her finger on Emma’s lips. “Shh. It’s okay, I am bossy. I am bossy and I’m proud.”

Emma smirked. “Well, you can always boss me around,” she said from behind Alyssa’s finger. “I like it.”

Alyssa smiled mischievously. “Do you want me to boss you around right now?”

Emma felt her cheeks heat. “If you’d like.”

Alyssa grabbed the collar of her girlfriend’s jacket and tugged her into their bedroom.


	22. Veronica

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Veronica Greene invites Emma over for dinner.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know Mrs. Greene's name is not Veronica in the book, but I heard it from a video, and I thought it fit more. All mistakes are mine. T/W homophobia

Veronica Greene was not an idiot.

Sure, she was a bit high strung and could be (she could admit this to herself now) overcontrolling, but she was not an idiot. She had known her daughter was…different for quite some time. Probably longer than Alyssa knew herself. She noticed how her daughter would gaze at other girls, and there was that one time when she was younger that Alyssa had asked if she could marry one of the young women that went to their church.

It wasn’t right, and Veronica tried to tell her daughter that.

When the prom fiasco happened and Alyssa kept trying to talk to her, Veronica got angry. Her daughter couldn’t be gay; it wasn’t possible, even if she did have a teeny tiny voice in the back of her head said that it might be true.

Alyssa confirmed her fear, in public no less. Veronica denied it of course, tried to tell her daughter that she was only feeling this way because of all those people from New York, pleaded with her. But then that Barry man had told her she would lose her daughter; her daughter, the greatest thing to ever happen to her. The words shot like lightening though her. That was the absolute last thing she wanted to happen.

So, Alyssa went to the second prom with her…girlfriend… and then she came home and she talked, and talked, and talked, and Veronica listened. So, here she was, a month after the prom, about to officially meet her daughter’s girlfriend and have dinner together.

Now, Veronica was running over the list of suitable topics of conversation in her head as she checked on the pork roast in the oven.

Emma was an honor student. Veronica could ask her about her plans for the future: college, career, etc.

Emma was a musician. She could ask how the teenager got into that.

Emma grew up in Edgewater. She could ask what that was like since she and Alyssa hadn’t moved to the town until Alyssa was thirteen.

Emma wasn’t religious according to Alyssa, so Veronica would do her best to steer clear of that particular subject, though it would be difficult. Who didn’t want to talk about Jesus and his love?

The sound of tires crunching on the gravel driveway pulled Veronica away from the food. She glanced out the window to see Emma’s old truck parked in front of the house. She noticed her daughter and Emma talking through the windshield. Veronica smiled at seeing Alyssa grin; her daughter seemed so happy.

The two teenagers leaned in and shared a quick kiss and Veronica’s breath caught and she let the curtain drift back into place. She stepped away, trying to quell the uneasiness that swirled in her stomach.

_It’s okay, everything’s okay. It was just a kiss. Couples do that, even if they weren’t technically a couple since they were two gir-_

_No. Absolutely not, Veronica. You promised Alyssa that you were going to be better. Emma is a wonderful girl who makes Alyssa happy. That is what matters._

Veronica bustled back into the kitchen and filled the pitcher with water. She had just set it on the table with a couple of glasses when the front door opened.

“Mom?”

Veronica hurried into the foyer. The girls were standing just inside the door, Emma looking nervous. She had her hand clasped tightly into Alyssa’s.

“Honey!” She gave her daughter a hug and looked to Emma. She thrust her hand out, hoping that her smile appeared natural. “Emma, it’s nice to finally meet you.” Never mind the fact that they had already met in passing. Emma took her hand and gave a firm shake.

“It’s nice to meet you too, Mrs. Greene,” Emma said in return. “Thanks for inviting me for dinner.”

Veronica dropped Emma’s hand, smoothing out her dress instead. “Yes, well, Alyssa was very insistent that I get to know you.” Her daughter shot her a look and Veronica rose an eyebrow. What? She was being nice.

Emma pretended not to notice the exchange. She gazed around the house. “Your home is beautiful.”

Veronica gave a smile. “Thank you. It helps to have a nice home when you’re a real estate agent.”

“Mom, can I talk to you for a moment?” Alyssa inquired with a tight smile.

Veronica eyed her daughter. “It’s not polite to talk in private when one has guests.”

“That’s okay,” Emma chimed in. “I need to use the restroom anyway.”

“Down the hall, first door on the left,” Alyssa told her before pecking her cheek; Veronica quickly dropped her gaze to the floor. Emma scurried away and once she was out of earshot, Alyssa rounded on her mother. “I thought you said you were gonna be nice.”

“I _am_ being nice,” Veronica defended. “What have I done that wasn’t nice?” she challenged.

“You were bragging about our home,” Alyssa told her lowly.

“I was making conversation! She’s the one who complimented it,” Veronica whispered back.

Alyssa sighed, breaking eye contact. “Look, I brought Emma here so that _you_ can get to know _her._ She already knows a lot about you.”

Veronica tilted her head. She didn’t know what to think about that.

Emma returned, looking between them warily and Veronica quickly said, “How about we move into the kitchen?”

“Dinner should be done in just a few minutes,” Veronica said as she sat at the table, the two teenagers following suit across from her. She gave them both some water, which Emma immediately drank half of. Veronica scrutinized her glass before asking, “Emma, do you like pork?”

“I like pretty much everything,” Emma revealed. “Except kiwi, but that’s just because I’m allergic.”

“Ah, I see.” A beat passed. Veronica took a sip of her water before deciding to just start. “So, Emma, tell me about yourself.”

“Uh.” The girl glanced to Alyssa before returning Veronica’s gaze. “Well, I just graduated, um, which you already know. And I-”

“Where are you going to college next year?” Veronica interrupted. “Are you staying local?”

“Um, yeah, for the first year or two, I think,” Emma said. “I wanna stick around and help my grandma out a little more.”

“Yes, I remember hearing that you live with your grandmother. She’s a…an interesting woman.” Even if she was a thorn in Veronica’s side at times.

Emma chuckled fondly. “Yeah, she’s definitely got her quirks.”

Veronica gave a tight smile. _I’ll say._

“So, you live with her?” Emma nodded. “Is that because your parents are away for work so much, or-”

“Mom!” Alyssa hissed.

Veronica swiveled her eyes to her daughter, who was giving her a horrified look. What was that all about? Was talking about one’s parents off the table?

“What? Did…did I say something wrong?” she asked, looking between the two silent girls.

“No,” Emma assured her quickly. Alyssa shifted her chair closer and reached for her hand. Veronica noticed Emma tense. “It’s just that I don’t talk to my parents anymore.” Veronica’s eyebrows rose. “Or, I guess it’s more like they don’t talk to me,” Emma continued absently. “My parents kicked me out when I told them I was gay.”

Veronica’s jaw dropped. “What?” She slumped slightly. “I don’t understand.” Her mind was spinning; she vaguely recalled gossip of one of the churchgoers doing something similar a few years ago, but she had immediately dismissed the idea and thought it was just talk. No one would abandon their child like that.

“They’re horrible people,” Alyssa told her girlfriend firmly. She stroked Emma’s cheek, her mother watching the action with different eyes. “They don’t know what an amazing person you are.”

“I know, Lys, I-”

“Emma,” Veronica blurted out suddenly. “I-I am so sorry, forgive me. I…” she cleared her throat. “I did not know that your parents had done that to you, honestly. And I agree with my daughter; they are horrible people.”

Emma’s eyebrows rose. “Oh, um, thank you. I didn’t realize-” she cut herself off, not wanting to finish the sentence, but Veronica knew what she was implying.

I didn’t realize you would be different than them.

Guilt slithered through Veronica, knowing that she had caused this poor girl trouble months ago. She leaned forward a little.

“I may not fully understand everything about…you know,” she admitted quietly. “But I would _never_ abandon my family like that.” She looked to Alyssa, who was staring back with glistening eyes. “Alyssa, I love you, and I’m sorry if you ever thought that I would leave you. I won’t.” She looked back to Emma. “And you, Emma, are a…a wonderful girl; my daughter would only choose the best.”

“Thank you, Mrs. Greene,” Emma said earnestly. “That means a lot to me.”

Alyssa sniffled, and Veronica smiled sadly. “Okay, how about we talk about something else. Alyssa told me you play the guitar,” she prompted.

And so it went.

A couple hours later, Emma was putting her shoes on at the front door. “Thank you so much again, Mrs. Greene,” she said to the woman in front of her with a smile. “Dinner was delicious.”

Veronica waved her off. “Oh, stop it, girl. Thank you for coming over and…teaching me about some things. It was wonderful to get to know my daughter’s girlfriend.” Emma ducked her head bashfully. “You’re welcome here anytime.” Emma thanked her again. Alyssa approached them and Veronica pulled her into a side hug. “And, if you’d like to see some baby pictures of this one here,” she squeezed Alyssa, “just say the word.”

Emma grinned. “That would be-”

“Completely unnecessary,” Alyssa finished for her, blushing. “Really, Mom? I thought you said that you wouldn’t embarrass me.”

“I don’t recall any such promise,” Veronica said innocently. Emma laughed.

After saying goodbye, the two teenagers stepped out onto the porch so Alyssa could give her girlfriend a private farewell. Veronica strolled back into the kitchen and began to clean. She didn’t mean to look up and out the window (really), but she when she did, all she could see was her daughter’s blinding grin.

Veronica smiled herself; any person who could make her daughter smile like that could not be a bad person. She thought of what she learned tonight about Emma and her parents and her stomach tightened; she still couldn’t believe that the Nolans had done that.

Well, no matter. If Emma wasn’t welcome at her parent’s home, she was more than welcome at hers, Veronica would make sure of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know Mrs. Greene is the 'bad guy' of the fandom, but she's also human, and I couldn't help but think that she wasn't completely heartless, so I gave her some heart :)


	23. Why

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A prelude to the last chapter. Alyssa and her mother talk. Takes place the night of the second prom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> T/W homophobia, not the happiest chapter. All mistakes are mine.

Alyssa stood in the driveway; her hand clutched tightly with Emma’s as she stared at the front door of her house. All the windows were dark, except for the kitchen one. Her mother was in there. Alyssa took a deep breath and felt Emma’s hand squeeze hers.

“Are you sure you don’t want me to stay?” Emma asked. “You know I will.”

Alyssa shook her head. She would’ve loved to have her girlfriend by her side but, “I need to do this alone. My mother is…fragile right now, and I think having this talk with someone else present would push her over the edge.”

Emma nodded. “I can see your mom not liking it if I knew her family’s secrets.”

“There’s not a secret left.” The brunette took another breath and stretched her neck, preparing for battle. “Alright.”

Emma tugged her into a tight hug. “Call me when it’s done,” she whispered into her hair. She pulled back only to draw Alyssa into a hard kiss. “I love you.” She pecked Alyssa’s forehead. Then she stepped back, got into her truck, waved at Alyssa, and left. Alyssa watched her go, wishing that she could join her and run away from the inevitable conversation with her mother. But she knew that talking must be had. She loved her mother, and she didn’t want to lose her.

Squaring her shoulders, Alyssa walked confidently into her home.

“Mom?” she called out.

There was nothing for a moment, and then a quiet, “In here.”

Alyssa followed the voice to the kitchen, nearly stumbling when her mother came into view. Veronica was sitting rod straight, eyes staring blankly at the table, hands clasped tightly in front of her, with a full glass of wine. Alyssa’s eyes widened slightly. Her mother never drank alcohol; the last time Alyssa had seen her do that was when her dad had left.

“Mom?”

Veronica brought her gaze up. Alyssa’s heart clenched when she noticed how red her eyes were. “How was the dance?”

“It was fun. Emma and I danced a lot.”

Her mother nodded curtly and brought her eyes back to the table. “I see.”

Alyssa played with her fingers while a silence descended. After a moment, she spoke. “Mom, I-”

“Why?”

Alyssa stopped. “Why what?”

“Why are you that way?”

The question was asked calmly, which almost made it worse; Alyssa was used to her mother yelling when she was angry, yelling and throwing her arms in the air, not being in control like she was now.

Alyssa took a step forward. “What way? You mean gay?”

Her mother flinched. “Don’t say that word!” she hissed, her eyes glistening with angry tears. “You are not-you are not that way!”

“Yes, I am!” Alyssa clenched her jaw. “I am gay; I’m a lesbian, and as for the ‘why’, well I don’t know, I just am.” Her mother shook her head.

“You’re confu-”

“I am not confused!” Alyssa snapped over her mother. “Was it confusing at first? Yeah, but I’m not confused now. I know what I want, and what I want is Emma.”

Her mother stood and leaned on the table, pointing a finger towards the door. “That girl is-”

“My girlfriend,” Alyssa interrupted firmly, her eyes narrow. “So, you better watch what you say.”

Her mother’s jaw dropped. “You don’t talk to me that way!” she yelled shrilly. “I am your mother and you will respect me!”

“Then respect _me_!” Alyssa shot back and her mother recoiled. Angry tears sprang to Alyssa’s eyes. She took a shuddering breath. “I’m gay, Mom. I know you don’t understand-” Her mother was shaking her head in denial “-and that’s okay for right now. It-it’s a lot to take in.”

Her mother’s eyes snapped back to hers. They were wild. “You are not g-a homosexual! You’re not! You’re only feeling this way because of those New York people! They’ve put thoughts into your head, vile thoughts!”

“Mom, no.” Alyssa said, trying to gather some patience back; it wasn’t working very well. She moved forward until she could reach for her mother’s hand. Her mom didn’t move it away. “Mom, I’ve known that I’m gay for a while. I’ve been dating Emma for over a year.”

Her mother’s jaw dropped in shock. “W-what?”

“I’m dating Emma,” Alyssa repeated. “I’m the girlfriend that she wanted to bring to the prom in the first place.” Alyssa scrutinized her mother. “But I have a feeling that you already knew that and that’s why you went all crazy.”

The woman gasped at the accusation. “I most certainly did not know!”

Alyssa didn’t believe her, but she also wasn’t 100% sure that her mother did know beforehand, so she let it go.

“It doesn’t matter now,” Alyssa began. “What matters is that I’m gay, that I have a girlfriend that I love, and that you know about it now.”

At the word ‘girlfriend’, her mother flinched again. “No, Alyssa, this isn’t right. You’re not gay! You ca-can’t be gay.” Alyssa rolled her eyes; were they really going to keep running around in circles like this? Most likely. “You’re going to snap out of whatever you’re feeling and you’ll go to college at Notre Dame, and you’ll meet a nice, handsome man and-”

Anger returned to Alyssa in a flash. “I’m not going to meet any man, Mom! I’m not going to _marry_ a _man_!”

“This is just a phase!” Mrs. Greene yelled as if she hadn’t heard her daughter.

Alyssa scoffed. “God, you’re using all the lines, aren’t you?”

“What do you me-”

“Mom,” Alyssa roared, shocking her mother into silence. “I. Am. Gay. I’m in love with Emma! And you don’t understand it, whatever.” Alyssa sighed. “But stop trying to say that what I feel isn’t true, or that it’s just a phase, or that I don’t understand my own feelings. Because I do.”

“But this is-”

“Me being straight isn’t going to make Dad come back.”

There. She had said it.

Her mother had stopped breathing. She was staring at her daughter, horrified. For a moment, Alyssa felt guilty for stooping to that level, but it had to be said; nothing else was getting through to her mother.

The woman collapsed back into the chair. She took a shuddering breath. “Ho-how-”

Alyssa barreled on. “I know that you believe that if we have the perfect life, if I’m valedictorian and captain of the debate team, that he’ll realize what he did was wrong and come back. But he won’t, Mom. He has a new life, and we’re not a part of it.” It hurt, more than Alyssa could describe, but she knew that it was true. Her mother was crying now, and the teenager tried to keep her own tears at bay. “Mom, you n-need to stop putting this pressure on me…and on yourself. You’re great, so great; I wish you knew that.”

“Alyssa-” Her mother broke off on a sob. “I-I’m s-s-sorry.”

It wasn’t what Alyssa expected. She thought her mother was going to break down.

“Mom.”

Her mother put her hand up and Alyssa ceased talking. She watched her mother compose herself, wiping her tears away.

“I’m sorry,” she repeated. “You’re right, I don’t understand about,” she gestured to her daughter, “this. But I can’t talk about this anymore. N-not tonight.”

Alyssa’s heart sunk. Realistically, she knew that this was most likely going to take more than one conversation, but that didn’t stop her from hoping that this could be a one and done situation.

Her mother stood abruptly, abandoning her full glass of wine, and set her hand on Alyssa’s shoulder.

“I'm sorry that I don't understand,” she said heavily. “I love you.”

More tears sprang to Alyssa’s eyes as she heard her mother pad away. She took a deep breath, telling herself that it could’ve gone worse, but it also could’ve gone better. She hastily wiped her eyes and fished out her phone after she heard her mother’s bedroom door close. 

Emma picked up on the first ring. “Hey, how’d it go?”

“Um, it was okay,” Alyssa responded shakily. “She doesn’t understand, but she also didn’t kick me out, so…”

“Lys, that’s good. I think we both knew that it was gonna take some time.” It didn't feel good.

“Yeah. I just wish she would love me no matter what.”

There was silence on the other end, and then, “I think she does, babe. It's a lot for her to take in at once. Do you want me to come pick you up?”

Alyssa sniffled. “Think Betsy would mind if I stayed there tonight?”

“Absolutely not.”

Alyssa changed while she waited to hear Emma’s truck rumbling down the driveway. Her mother would never allow her to stay the night at her girlfriend’s grandmother’s house, but no movement came from the downstairs bedroom. Alyssa didn’t know what to think of it.

Before long, Emma was there. Alyssa locked the front door behind her and glanced to the lit window of her mother’s bedroom, where the woman was no doubt thinking about everything, including how her husband had left.

Alyssa knew that her mother would accept her eventually, but tonight was not that night.


	24. Xanders (College Bar AU)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alyssa and Emma meet at a bar.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't kill me, but in this AU, Alyssa is figuring out her feelings when it comes to women. She always thought she was straight. All mistakes are mine.

* * *

Alyssa Greene slammed down the shot glass and let the liquid burn down her throat. Thank God for whiskey. Thank God for whiskey and music and this bar—Xanders, she thought it was called. She couldn’t believe that her night had gotten so off track. It was supposed to be a romantic night with him: eating dinner by candlelight, gazing at the stars, maybe even taking a trip to skinny dip in the lake down the road.

How did it get so fucked up?

_Oh, yeah, that’s right, because he fucking cheated on me!_

Alyssa glanced up from her empty glass to wave down the bartender and felt a tap on her shoulder along with a soft “Excuse me?”

She let out a small growl and whipped around to face the poor unfortunate soul that had dared to interrupt her swell of anger. She had only been here for twenty minutes and this was the fourth person to come and hit on her.

“Look,” she snapped at the gorgeous blonde that had poked her shoulder. “I’m flattered that you find me interesting enough to strike up a conversation with. But I am really not in the mood tonight, alright? You’re the fourth person—scratch that, you’re the fourth _girl_ that has come over and interrupted my ‘me time’ and I do not appreciate it! So, please just back away slowly and leave me the hell alone.”

The blonde stranger, who at first seemed confused by Alyssa’s rant, simply smiled, amused. She didn’t even seem upset that the brunette had just yelled at her. This just made Alyssa even more agitated.

“What’s so funny, huh? What do you want?” she spat. Seriously, why couldn’t people just leave her alone?

“I didn’t come over to hit on you,” the other girl said and pointed to a spot behind Alyssa. “I was just wondering if you could hand me some napkins.”

Alyssa turned to see that there was indeed a stack of napkins placed near her. She felt her cheeks heat up as the anger left her to be replaced by humiliation.

“Oh, um, sorry about that,” she said sheepishly as she handed the blonde some napkins. “I just—it seems like people won’t leave me alone.” The other girl tilted her head slightly. “And I know that that just made me sound egocentric, but—”

The blonde shook her head and cut her off. “You don’t need to apologize. You had a bad day, maybe a bad week, I get it. And I can see why people won’t leave you alone; you’re beautiful.” She smiled.

Alyssa’s cheeks got even redder. “Thanks, but--” she cut off, a question popping into her mind. “Do I look gay or something? Like, I could be a lesbian? Because every person that has come up to me has been a girl.”

The blonde laughed. “That’s probably because you’re at a gay bar.”

Alyssa’s eyes widened and she squeaked out a surprised “Really?” before turning around and finally observing her surroundings.

There were couples grinding on the dance floor, all females. And were those two…yep, there was a couple making out in the corner. Alyssa didn’t have anything gay people, she really didn’t. She was just shocked that she hadn’t noticed that she had entered a gay bar from the moment she walked in. Seriously, the couple making out was right by the front entrance!

“Oh, um, I guess that would explain some things,” she muttered, still transfixed by the couple. The blonde chuckled. Alyssa looked back to her.

“I take it that you’re not gay.” She said it as a statement, not as a question, but the brunette answered anyway.

“No, sorry, I have a boyfriend. Well, had a boyfriend.” Ah, there was the anger again. She turned her attention back to her empty shot glass. “The stupid fucking bastard decided that only fucking one girl wasn’t enough,” she seethed.

The other girl let out a sympathetic sound. “Sorry bout that. How about I get you a drink?”

Alyssa snapped her head back, a little too quickly as her head swam around. She was definitely tipsy; perhaps having three shots within twenty minutes was a bad idea.

“Okay, now you’re definitely hitting on me.”

The blonde laughed and waved down the bartender. “No, I’m not. I’m simply buying a fellow girl a drink that she can drown herself in, figuratively of course.” She caught Alyssa’s eyes and the brunette noticed the beautiful shade of hazel. “I’ve had my heart broken in a similar way. She may not have had a dick, but that doesn’t mean that she didn’t act like one.” She sat down on the next stool. “I’m Emma, by the way.”

“Alyssa.”

Emma hummed. “Pretty name for a pretty girl,” she said sensually as she traced the rim of her glass with her finger. Usually, that kind of line would make Alyssa squirm uncomfortably, but all she felt was warmth when Emma said it. She giggled, her anger dissipating once again.

“If this is you making small talk, I’m really curious as to how your flirting goes.”

“Wouldn’t you like to know.” Emma winked. “I’ll tell you a secret, Alyssa.” The brunette leaned forward dramatically with her drink in hand. Emma couldn’t help but grin in amusement at that before revealing, “When I’m interested in a girl, I’m usually shy.”

And she was definitely not being shy right now.

Alyssa ignored the slight pang of disappointment she felt from the comment. Why is she hurt that a lesbian didn’t find her interesting? Even if Emma was interested in her, it wouldn’t go anywhere, what with her being straight and all.

The brunette smoothed her face into a small smile. “I find that hard to believe.”

“No, I’m serious,” Emma defended. “I find it very difficult to talk to girls. I’m a klutz when it comes to words.”

“I take it you’re not into public speaking, then?” Alyssa joked.

“Nope,” Emma said. “I’m all about what goes on in the mind; not the noise that comes from the mouth.”

“Psychology?”

Emma grinned. “Bingo. What about you?” Alyssa took a sip of her drink before answering.

“Undecided. There are so many things that I find interesting. How am I only supposed to choose one?”

“You could flip a coin.” Emma pulled a quarter from her pocket.

Alyssa looked at it and laughed. “Yeah, I guess I could do that.” But she didn’t move to take the coin.

There was lull in their conversation and Alyssa turned her attention back to her drink, trying to collect her thoughts.

She didn’t know Emma, like, at all. But she couldn’t deny that she found the blonde easy to talk to. Maybe they could be friends. God knew she could use some more of those since most of hers were friends with Greg as well. She needed people that she could complain about Greg to without them trying to defend him.

“Do you wanna come back to the table with my friends and you can tell us all about your douche of an ex?”

Alyssa blinked at her. Seriously, did Emma just read her mind?

When she realized that the other girl was serious, she responded, “Sure, why not?”

***

A little over an hour later, Alyssa was laughing her ass off at a joke as she sipped at her Long Island iced tea. Needless to say, she was nowhere near sober. But she couldn’t help but think that this was exactly what she needed; a group of great gals to make her laugh and take her side and shit ton of alcohol.

Emma was sitting to her right, her arm slung over the back of her chair.

Once she got her breath back, Alyssa leaned over and giggled before whispering (thought it wasn’t a whisper at all) “Ya know, with us sitting so close and your arm around me, it almost looks like we’re dating.” She giggled once again as Emma raised her eyebrows.

“Does it now?” she asked with a smirk.

“You’re not gonna want to start that with her, sweetie,” the brunette across the table told Alyssa with a sweet smile. “Emma’s got a bad track record.” The rest of the girls around the table laughed, even Alyssa.

“Gee, thanks Shelby,” Emma deadpanned. She glanced to Alyssa to find the other girl’s attention captured by Carrie who was explaining something. She turned back to Shelby. “For the record, there’s nothing wrong with harmless flirting,” she said lowly.

“There is when the chick is straight as a stick,” Kaylee pointed out before taking a sip from her drink.

“Sticks can be curvy too,” Emma backfired.

“I think the phrase is ‘straight as an arrow,’” Shelby said absently.

Kaylee waved her hand dismissively. “Whatever. The point is, is that you need to stop going after girls that aren’t on our team.”

“Hey, how about we stop talking about the ‘arrow’ while she’s sitting right next to me?” Emma inclined her head to Alyssa. Kaylee opened her mouth to retort but the brunette had brought her attention back around to Emma.

“Who’s an arrow?” she asked as she tried (and failed) to get her straw in her mouth.

Emma’s eyes widened. “Uh, no one. We were--”

“We were just saying that Emma here needs to stop going after girls who are straight,” Kaylee interrupted. The blonde’s jaw dropped in a look of surprise before glaring daggers at her friend. Kaylee held up her hands in surrender. “Hey, somebody had to say it.”

Emma shook her head and looked to Alyssa, thinking for sure that the girl was going to feel uncomfortable now.

But she didn’t seem uncomfortable; if anything, she looked as if she were thinking, and thinking quite hard at that.

“Ya know, I’ve never kissed a girl,” Alyssa admitted after a handful of seconds. All eyes at the table snapped to her.

“Really?” Shelby asked. “Never?”

Alyssa pursed her lips and shook her head. “Nope! But I’ve always wanted to.”

“Well, I’m sure that there are plenty of ladies here who would be glad to help you cross that off your bucket list,” Kaylee said with a sly smile.

Emma kicked her from under the table. “No, don’t go for just anyone,” she told Alyssa and leaned a little closer. “You should ask someone that you know, someone that you’re comfortable with.”

“Agreed,” Shelby quipped. “There’s nothing worse than making out with someone that you don’t know. At first, it’s an innocent kiss, and then BAM! They’re trying to get their hands under your shirt.”

“Says you,” Kaylee chimed in. “I love making out with strangers; there’s a thrill to it.”

“Well, not everyone is like you,” Shelby said.

Emma rolled her eyes at her friends’ bickering. She tapped Alyssa on the shoulder. The two locked eyes. Emma could see the slight glaze in them from the alcohol.

“Then who should I kiss?” Alyssa asked.

Emma had to bite her tongue from blurting out the first word that popped into her mind. Instead, she swallowed and asked, “Do you wanna actually kiss a girl?” Alyssa nodded. “Tonight?”

The brunette slumped her shoulders. “Why not? I’m single,” she spat the words out. “And I’m in a gay bar. Plus, I’m drunk.” Emma noticed that she didn’t sound too confident. After a second, Alyssa added, “Maybe I shouldn’t do it though. I mean, I don’t even like girls, I don’t think.”

Emma’s heart leapt at the last words, but she forced herself not to jump to conclusions. She had been with too many girls who were only experimenting.

Of course, she would love it if Alyssa kissed a girl, but only if that girl was her. It was strange, she had only known this girl for a couple hours and already she felt an attachment to her.

“You shouldn’t do it just cause you’re in a gay bar,” Emma told Alyssa. If anything, her saying that just made Alyssa look more confused. Emma sighed. “How about this: flip a coin. If it’s heads, don’t kiss anyone tonight. If it’s tails, grab a girl by the face and plant one on her.”

“Only if she’s okay with it,” Alyssa added softly. Emma smiled. Alyssa giggled. “You really like flipping coins, don’t you?”

“Well, you know the purpose of flipping a coin, right?”

“To help make decisions.”

“Yeah, but there’s more.” Alyssa scooted closer. “While the coin is in the air, you suddenly know what you want the outcome to be.”

The brunette raised her eyebrows. “Huh, I never thought of it that way.”

“True story.”

“Alright, I’ll flip a coin.”

Emma grinned and fished a quarter out of her pocket. It was her lucky quarter, but she wasn’t about to tell Alyssa that. “Here you go. Now, flip.”

Alyssa kept her eyes on hers. Emma swore she could stare at them all night. After a minute, Alyssa dropped her eyes to the circle object and flicked it into the air using her thumb.

Emma waited, not breathing. She watched the coin fly into the air, spinning. After what seemed like hours, the quarter clattered down onto the table.

“Ugh, please tell me you’re not doing that stupid ‘flip a coin’ thing again,” Kaylee groused from across the table.

Neither girl heard her; they were staring at the quarter.

It was heads.

Emma felt her heart drop. She had really wanted to kiss the other girl.

 _Even if it did land on tails, it doesn’t mean that she would’ve kissed you_ , she reminded herself.

She lifted her eyes from the coin to look at Alyssa, who was still staring at it.

“Huh,” she let out. She glanced to the blonde before standing up and bolting from the table.

Emma watched her exit the bar, very confused, and quickly followed. She found the other girl outside leaning against the wall, one of her hands on her bent knees.

“Alyssa? You okay?” The girl whirled around, and Emma saw how pale she was. “Do you want to sit?”

Alyssa shook her head and stood up straighter. “No, I’ll be fine.” She took a few deep breaths, suddenly seeming much more sober. “I’m sorry, that was just…intense.”

“No, I’m sorry,” Emma interjected. “I shouldn’t have had you do that. Flipping a coin can’t be used for everything. Kissing someone was all your choice and I kinda took it from you.”

“You didn’t force me to do anything.”

Silence fell over the pair. Emma was internally kicking herself; they were all having a good time and there been a chance that Alyssa was going to become a friend. But she had to go and get sucked in and possibly scare this amazing girl away.

“Do you need me to do anything?” She approached Alyssa until they were within arm’s reach.

“No, I just…I just need to think some things through.” And there it was; Emma had ruined it. She swallowed around the lump in her throat and looked down to her shoes. “I wasn’t expecting that outcome. I mean, I wanted it to be tails.”

Emma snapped her head up. “Wh-what?”

Alyssa held her gaze. “As soon as the coin left my thumb, I knew what I wanted it to be. And that scares me."

The blonde bit her lip and nodded slowly. “So, you wanted to kiss a girl?”

“No, I _want_ to kiss a girl.”

Emma couldn’t help herself, she smiled. She took a breath, steadying herself before saying slyly, “You could still kiss a girl, Alyssa.” The other girl cocked her head to the side. Emma plowed through her nerves. “I mean, it’s not like I would push you away or anything.”

“You would kiss me?”

Emma stared at her as if she had sprouted another head. “Why wouldn’t I want to kiss you?”

Alyssa frowned and turned away. “You don’t even know me.” Okay, the blonde wouldn’t go that far.

“I know that you’re recently single, that you have a hard time making decisions.” Alyssa let out a small laugh. “And that you’re one of the most interesting and beautiful girls I’ve had the pleasure of meeting.”

Confidence was coursing through Emma’s body now and she gave the girl a small smile when their eyes connected. Alyssa was looking at her with an unreadable expression.

After a few minutes of silence, in which the blonde began to over think and get nervous, Alyssa quietly said, “I thought you said you were shy when you’re around girls you’re interested in.” She stepped forward so Emma just had to lean down and they would be kissing.

Emma furrowed her brow. After a minute, she smiled. “I said ‘usually’.”

The two stared at each other, smiling softly for a little longer. Emma wasn’t entirely sure what was going on, but it was obvious that Alyssa was interested in her. Or at least curious what it would be like to kiss her.

Emma slipped her hand into her pocket and pulled out a penny. She let it flick up from her thumb and caught in it the air. Her fist was closed around it so they couldn’t see the result.

Both girls watched with bated breath as Emma slowly uncurled her fingers.

It was heads.

However, before Emma could even feel the disappointment swell within her once again, Alyssa grabbed the collar of her jacket and pulled.

And Alyssa’s lips were just as soft as Emma thought they’d be.

After they pulled apart (with Alyssa grinning), Emma chuckled.

“I guess I have a new lucky coin.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Only 2 more to go! Thanks for sticking with me!


	25. Yours

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! Sorry for the delay in posting; the holidays were very busy. Don't worry, I'm not abandoning this story. Enjoy!  
> All mistakes are mine.

Alyssa is beautiful; any soul that has had the privilege to lay eyes on her could see that. It’s one of the many things that Emma loves about her girlfriend.

Alyssa had first moved to Edgewater when she was twelve, and she was as awkward as everybody else: braces, acne, she hadn’t grown into her legs yet. Middle school Emma thought she was the prettiest girl in school, though, and she never stopped thinking that.

The years were good to Alyssa, and it was agreed that she was one of the cutest girls in high school. It was no secret that many of the boys wanted to date her, but she was always so busy, plus Mrs. Greene was a little frightening.

So, yeah.

Emma knows that her girlfriend is beautiful and that she’s sought after. But she never worried about it, especially not when she was in high school; there were too many idiots in the town. But now they live in New York, and Emma is noticing eyes (mostly men’s) on her girlfriend wherever they go.

Alyssa doesn’t notice, or she does and she just ignores them. Either way, Emma still doesn’t worry a lot.

Okay, maybe she doesn’t like how it seems that every guy has their eyes glued to Alyssa’s ass or the way overly friendly women will touch her arm, or the fact that Alyssa will be asked out right in front of her and—

Okay, maybe she is a little worried.

She’s not nervous about Alyssa cheating on her (the girl would _never_ do that; not since her father destroyed their family doing just that), but that doesn’t mean that Alyssa won’t leave her because she found someone better. It’s something that’s always in the back of Emma’s mind now; it’s like a parasite, or a constant itch. She tries to not let it show, her concern of it all, but her girlfriend knows her too well.

They’re eating dinner in their tiny apartment. Well, Alyssa is eating; Emma is just nudging her food around her plate. The brunette frowns.

“Emma, you okay?”

Emma starts, as if she forgot there was another occupant in the room. “Hmm? Yeah, yeah, I’m fine.”

Alyssa studies her. “What’s got you so occupied?”

Emma opens her mouth to tell the brunette that it’s nothing, but knows that her girlfriend wouldn’t let it go.

“I’m just feeling a little insecure,” she eventually admits.

Alyssa twirls a forkful of pasta around her utensil. “What’re you insecure about?”

Emma drops her gaze. “You.”

Alyssa freezes with her fork an inch away from her mouth. “What? Me? Did I do something?”

“No!” Emma says immediately. “No, you didn’t do anything.”

Alyssa sets her fork down on her plate, giving Emma her full attention. “Then what is it? Why are you insecure about me?”

Emma squirms as she tries to get the words out. “It’s just…you’re just…I don’t-” She huffs in frustration.

“Emma?”

“You’re so pretty!” Emma blurts out.

Alyssa blinks rapidly. “Uh, thank you? You’re pretty too, babe, but what doe-”

“Not like you,” Emma cuts across her. “I’m not pretty like you. I don’t have dozens of eyes on me, wanting to take me home. I don’t have guys asking me out in front of my girlfriend. I don’t have the option of being with whoever I want.”

“Neither do I,” Alyssa says, frowning.

“Yes, you do! Don’t you see?” Tears sprang to Emma’s eyes. “Alyssa, you could have any girl you wanted. I knew it in high school, but I wasn’t scared, cause it was Edgewater, ya know?” Alyssa gapes at her. “But we’re in New York now, the biggest city in the country, and…I’m just worried that you’ll find someone better.”

She stares at her plate as Alyssa tries to collect her thoughts. After a few minutes, she speaks.

“Emma Nolan.” Her voice is clear. Emma doesn’t bring her gaze up. Alyssa grits her teeth and stands from her seat to kneel beside the other girl. “Emma, baby, look at me.”

She tilts Emma’s chin up softly with her fingers until their eyes meet. Emma’s are glassy, the tears sitting there but not falling. It makes Alyssa’s heart clench.

“Emma Nolan,” she repeats. “You are an idiot if you think I would want anyone else.” Emma doesn’t say anything so Alyssa barrels on. “And I don’t have the choice of being with someone other than you, because you’ve ruined that for me.”

Emma furrows her brow. “What does that even mean?”

Alyssa cups her face. “It means that I love you, that I’m in love with you and that nobody else could make me feel this way. It…it means that you’re it for me.” The words make Emma’s heart flutter. “It means that I’m _yours_.”

The words hit Emma like a freight train. Alyssa’s said those words before, ‘I’m yours’, but never like this. A tear escapes Emma’s eye and Alyssa immediately wipes it away.

“I think we should set up an eye appointment for you,” the brunette says.

Emma shakes her head, her brain trying to keep up with the change in topic. “W-why?”

“You must need a new prescription if you can’t see the tidal wave of girls who drool over you, especially at open mic night.”

Emma’s cheeks heat and her mouth drops open slightly. “What? No, they don’t.”

“Yes, they do, babe.” Alyssa gives sheepish smile. “At first I hated it—I mean, I still do a little—but it also reminds me how lucky I am to be with you; how happy it makes me to know that I’m the one who you come home with every night.”

Emma feels the need to explain her devotion to the brunette. “Alyssa, I don’t want an--”

The brunette puts a finger to Emma’s lips. “Shh, baby, I know. I’m not worried about you cheating on me either, not in the least.” She taps Emma’s lips. “I’m yours, just like how I know you’re mine. Not in the caveman owning way, but in the love way. I know that you’re insecure and that it bothers you when people look at me, but let them look. Let them look and know that they can _never_ have me, because you always will. And I will never look back,” she finishes confidently.

Emma’s heart is thumping loudly, so loudly she wonders if Alyssa can hear it. The tears are falling freely now and she leans forward to kiss her girlfriend.

Her absolutely stunning girlfriend, who will no doubt still have people staring after her. But Emma’s not worried anymore, because Alyssa is right: she has Emma’s heart, and Emma has hers.

And that’s what matters.


	26. Zodiac AU

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is, folks! The final installment! Thank you all so much for coming along this ride with me and for your kind comments and kudos. They are very much appreciated :)   
> All mistakes are mine. Enjoy!

* * *

“What do we got?”

Kevin Shields rolled his eyes as the poised voice of his partner and friend, Emma Nolan, reached his ears. He stood up from where he had been taking notes of the evidence and approached the woman.

“I just said that four minutes ago,” he told Emma.

“Yeah? Well, I haven’t.” Emma shot him a smirk as she took some gloves from one of the crime scene techs. “And it’s my slogan.”

“It’s definitely not,” Kevin said. “Pretty sure it’s on every cop show that’s ever existed.”

Emma shrugged. “Whatever. Either way, what’s going on?” She swept her gaze over the cramped studio apartment that they had been called to. A small bookshelf was toppled over and several books were scattered across the wood floor. The coffee table was on its side and the TV had been shifted on its stand. “There was a struggle,” Emma said aloud.

“Yeah,” Kevin agreed. “The vic put up a fight. The body’s this way.”

He led her to the kitchenette where a plant had been knocked over, its dirt spilled on the floor. Right next to it lay the dead body of a young woman with dark hair. She was face down, her arms sprawled slightly, and clothed. Her sweater had numerous tears throughout with darkened edges.

“She was stabbed,” one of the uniformed officers said.

“Yes, we can see that, Roland,” Kevin said with a tired look to Emma. She smirked. Kevin examined the floor. “There’s not a lot of blood, though. Think the knife wounds could be post mortem?”

“Possibly,” Emma said. She crouched down closer to the body, trying to see the face. “Who is she?”

“Victim is Emily Mullins,” Officer Roland explained. “Age 24. She was in grad school.” He handed Emma the evidence bag that contained the victim’s student ID.

“Hm, grad student at Columbia,” she observed. “Nice. Do we know what she was studying?”

“No ma’am. We found her purse and laptop over on the bed. Nothing appears to be stolen.”

“So, not a robbery,” Kevin noted. He glanced to Roland. “Was the apartment broken into?”

“No, sir,” Roland replied. “No signs of forced entry. We’re thinking she didn’t have the door locked.”

Emma sighed. “Why don’t they ever lock their doors?” she wondered aloud, clenching her jaw. Emily was so young, barely five years younger than herself; she had barely begun to live. Emma stood up and began to move around the space, taking in the crime scene markers.

“Were there any witnesses?” Kevin asked. Roland shook his head. “Who found her?”

“Boyfriend,” Roland said. “Said he stopped over cause she wasn’t returning his texts. Said he was worried.”

“I’m sure he was,” Emma muttered. “What time did he find her?

“9:15.”

“What’s the boyfriend’s name? I might wanna bring him in, ask him a few questions.”

“Kyle Baker. Another officer is taking his statement down the hall.”

Emma nodded as she passed by a bagged cellphone. “Has anyone contacted the family?” Roland nodded again. “Good, let’s get the Doc here.”

“Detectives?” Kevin and Emma turned to the door to see another officer. “There’s some reporters outside. Just thought you should know.”

Kevin swore as he stomped towards one of the windows. Emma followed and glanced outside. Sure enough, there were some people assembling down near the entrance.

“Why can’t they ever leave us alone?” Kevin mumbled as he snapped off his gloves.

“Hey, Kev, don’t worry, I got it,” Emma said and she too slipped off her gloves. “We both know I’m better at speaking anyways.” She winked.

“Oh yeah, that’s it,” Kevin said sarcastically. “And it has nothing to do with that beautiful reporter who always seems to be at our crime scenes, huh?”

“Beautiful? I thought you were married, Kev,” Emma said cheekily before ducking out of the apartment. Kevin’s response of “I am and happily married, thank you very much!” echoed after her.

Emma checked herself in the mirror in the apartment building lobby before strutting out into the sunshine. There was a small group of reporters and photographers congregated behind the yellow tape. Emma gazed at them, recognizing a few, before her eyes zoned in on the curly haired brunette.

Alyssa Greene.

Emma suppressed a grin as she made her way over; she could the smirk on Alyssa’s face already.

“I think it goes without saying that I can’t say anything, right?” Emma asked the group once she reached them.

Immediately, cameras flashed and several questions were thrown at her.

“Was this a murder?”

“Who’s the victim?”

“Are there any leads thus far?”

“Was rape involved?”

Emma gritted her teeth. “C’mon guys, this isn’t your first rodeo. You know I can’t say anything during an open investigation.”

“Why can’t you give us something?” one of the younger photographers yelled. Emma barely resisted the urge to roll her eyes; why didn’t they get it?

“You guys will get the information once we’re ready to give it. Now, if you don’t have any further quest-”

“Is there any connection between this murder and the one that happened in the Bronx over a month ago?” a loud, clear voice asked. Everyone turned to Alyssa, the asker. She eyed Emma in challenge.

Emma swallowed, before leaning towards Alyssa as she responded, “A statement will be released to the public in due time.” She looked to the rest of the group. “Until then, we can say no more on the matter.”

The group slowly began to disperse. Emma watched them go and turned to see Alyssa still standing behind the tape. Emma smiled inwardly. “Do you have a police scanner or something? How did you know that we were here?”

Alyssa arched an eyebrow. “It’s New York, Detective Nolan. All I have to do is look out my window and see crime scene tape.”

“Ouch, is that a dig on the police?”

“If you take it that way.” She thumbed the tape that separated them. “Are you sure you can’t give me anything?”

Emma sighed. “C’mon, Greene, you know that’s against the rules.”

The brunette stepped back. “Yeah, I know. I just thought you and I had something.”

Emma quirked an eyebrow up. “Had something?”

“Yeah, a working relationship,” Alyssa elaborated. Emma’s heart thumped at the word ‘relationship’. “Like, you give me info first and I don’t paint you as being the bad guy in the paper.”

Emma’s jaw dropped. “I’m not a bad guy!” Alyssa broke out laughing. “Anyone who knows me knows that I am a model citizen, thank you.”

“It’s amazing what people will believe, even if it’s not true,” Alyssa said slyly. “I could make the whole city hate you with just a few words.”

Emma placed her hands on her hips. “Are you threatening a police officer, Miss Greene?” she questioned with a crooked smile. “Cause you could get in trouble for that.”

Alyssa’s eyes glinted mischievously. “And what would my punishment be, Detective?” she asked lowly.

Emma’s cool façade broke. Eyes widened, she sputtered. “Um, I-well-ha, I-” Alyssa grinned as redness flooded the detective’s cheeks. “Uh-”

“Emma!” The woman spun around to see Kevin at the entrance to the apartment building. “The ME’s here.”

“What?” Emma blinked rapidly, trying to clear her head. “Oh, right. Um, okay, I’ll be there in a sec!” she called to him. Kevin shot her and exasperated look before disappearing back inside.

Alyssa sighed dramatically. “And we were having such a splendid time, too.”

“Speak for yourself,” Emma muttered quietly so Alyssa couldn’t hear. She fiddled with her glasses. “Right. You’ll get the info once we’re ready to give it,” she repeated from earlier. She turned on her heel and strode back into the building, not looking back to the smirking reporter.

Kevin was waiting just inside the doors. “Aw, did she make you blush?” he teased, spotting Emma’s still red face. She shoved him.

***

“You said _what_ to her?”

Alyssa winced at the volume of her coworker and friend, Kaylee Klein’s, voice. “Will you keep it down? I’d like to not have the whole building hear what we’re talking about.”

Kaylee rolled her eyes, but conceded. “I’m just confused, Alyssa. You claim you don’t like this girl, yet you flirt with her every chance you get.”

“I do not flirt!” Alyssa protested. “And I don’t like her like that.”

“Oh, yes you do,” Kaylee sing-songed. Alyssa really wanted to shove her friend from where she was leaning against her desk. “You totally spaced out the first time you met her. And now you’re always asking to be the one to go to the crime scenes.” She eyed the brunette. “Am I supposed to think that’s just a coincidence?”

“I’m a crime reporter,” Alyssa stated dryly. “Going to crime scenes is part of my job. Now will you get off my notes? You’re crinkling them.”

Kaylee stood straight and Alyssa snatched the papers that she had been partially sitting on, putting them safely on the other side of the desk. “I don’t understand why you don’t just record your notes on your phone like every other reporter.”

“It’s not the same,” Alyssa mumbled. “And I do use a recorder, but I feel more accomplished when I write stuff down.”

“Whatever. I still can’t believe you said that to her.” Alyssa closed her eyes; she had hoped that Kaylee would let it go. Kaylee studied her. “Alyssa, there’s nothing wrong in admitting that you want to fu-”

“Hey, Alyssa!”

Alyssa spun in her chair to see Greg, one of the photographers, in her doorway. She gave him a polite smile while Kaylee glared at him.

“Go away, Greg,” Kaylee deadpanned.

“Kaylee!” Alyssa chastised. “What’s up, Greg?”

The man held up a flash drive. “Was on my way to Angie, thought I would pop in and say hi.”

“Yes, you’re just always ‘popping in’, aren’t you?” Kaylee muttered quietly. Alyssa flicked her in the shoulder. Greg furrowed his brow, clearly only catching part of what the woman said.

“Well, uh, I’ll let you go,” he said reluctantly. He turned to walk off before doing a spin and coming back. “Hey, Alyssa, you wouldn’t by chance be interested in getting dinner this wee-”

“She’s busy. Bye Greg!” Kaylee told him loudly. Greg clamped his mouth shut, getting the message, and left the office.

Alyssa gave her friend an exasperated look. “Why are you always mean to him?”

Kaylee shrugged. “Cause you never are,” she explained as if it were obvious. “Lys, you need to tell him to back off. Otherwise, he’s just gonna keep asking you out.”

The brunette sighed. “I know.”

Kaylee suddenly got a gleeful look on her face. “I have a brilliant beyond brilliant idea! Why don’t you just tell him that you’re gay? That’ll solve everything!”

“We’ve been over this, Kaylee! I don’t want everyone at my work to know about my personal life. It’s bad enough not being taken seriously because of my mom. If people knew I was a lesbian, I would be even more of a joke to some of them.”

“Anyone who knows you knows that you’re not a joke,” Kaylee told her softly. “But I get it about your mom; it can’t be easy being the daughter of one of the greatest reporters this side of century.”

Alyssa rolled her eyes. “Thanks for the reminder, Kay.”

Kaylee put her hand on her friend’s shoulder. “Look, I know that you don’t like to hurt people’s feelings, but there’s no point in letting Greg think he has a shot when he doesn’t.” She paused. “Unless you’ve been lying to me this whole time and you’re not actually gay.”

Alyssa barked out a laugh. “Oh, trust me, I’m gay, very gay.”

“Cool. Just tell him that. Greg’s harmless; he’ll be hurt for a while, but we both know that he’ll stop pestering you.”

“Yeah, yeah, I know.”

Kaylee squeezed her shoulder before retracting her hand. “Okay, I gotta go write some gossip.”

“Anything good happening?”

“Eh, not really. I’m gonna go see if I can dig something up on the Jonas Brothers.”

Alyssa snorted. “Kay, those guys are, like, the cleanest in Hollywood.”

Kaylee held up her index finger. “One: they’re not in Hollywood.” She held up her second finger. “And two: they’re not the cleanest; that’s Hugh Jackman.” She grinned and Alyssa’s answering laugh followed her out the door.

***

Emma stepped out of the elevator to find Kevin standing outside the morgue. He had his back to the door, staring resolutely at the wall.

“Aw, you still can’t handle seeing dead people flayed open?” Emma asked jokingly. Instead of his usual snap of ‘Fuck off’, Kevin just shook his head. He was a bit pale. Emma frowned. “Dude, you okay?”

“Just a little queasy,” Kevin said weakly. “Think I’ll sit this one out.”

“Alright, that’s fine. They just brought the boyfriend in. Do you wanna go question him while I talk to the doc?”

Kevin nodded and sped off to the elevator. Emma chuckled; who would’ve thought that she had a stronger stomach than Detective Shields?

She pushed open the windowless door to the morgue. The room was spacious, white, and smelled of numerous chemicals. There were two tables in the middle of the room. Emily Mullins was on one of them. She was face up with a sheet covering her naked body. Emma clenched her jaw at seeing the dead woman’s face. Even though she could stomach it, she still hated seeing dead bodies, especially when they were young.

An older man was bent over her body, examining her neck. Emma cleared her throat and the man snapped his head up.

“Detective!” Dr. Trent Oliver greeted cheerfully. “To what do I owe the pleasure?”

Emma nodded to the woman. “I was hoping you had something on the victim.”

“Ah. Not much, just yet, I’m afraid,” Trent said. “I haven’t even done the slicing and dicing.” Emma shook her head at his choice of words. Trent furrowed his brow. “Use a different phrase?” Emma nodded. “Very well. I have yet to begin the internal exam.”

Emma nodded. “Better.”

“But I do have a cause of death!” Trent pointed to the victim’s neck. “Strangulation.”

Emma approached the table, bending over the body much like Trent did. “So, it wasn’t the knife wounds?”

“Nope, those were post mortem, I believe.” He reached over the woman and rolled her so that she was laying on her side so Emma could see the angry markings on the back. “I’ve counted six stab wounds. But there was hardly any blood loss, which leads me to believe that these were done after the woman had passed.”

Anger surged through Emma. “So, killing her wasn’t enough,” she noted. “He had to stab her. This was personal.” She thought of Kevin interrogating the boyfriend and really hoped he got something out of him. “Do you have a time of death?”

Trent gently laid the woman back down supine. “I’d say about eight hours ago, so around 4:30 in the morning. Toxicology is running now. I’ll let you know if I find anything.”

“Thanks, Doc,” Emma said. She left the room, shaking off the chill that always lived in that place.

***

“He has an alibi,” Kevin told Emma as he fell into his desk chair across from her. Emma switched her attention on her partner instead of the paperwork in front of her.

“The boyfriend?” Kevin nodded. Emma swore and tossed down her pen. “Where was he then?”

“At a bar, O’Connells off of 54th. He was there with his sidepiece.”

Emma furrowed her brow. “Sidepiece? You mean…” Kevin nodded. Emma shook her head in disgust. “Fucking scumbag.”

“Tell me about it,” Kevin agreed. “I don’t know why these boys think that’s a good idea.”

“It’s not just boys,” Emma reminded him.

“Anyway, the girl he was seeing, Clara, confirmed that he was with her all night. Plus, the dozen other witnesses at the bar.”

“Doc said time of death was around 4:30 AM; he could’ve been away from Clara at that time.”

Kevin tilted his head. “Possibly, but she did say that he was there when she woke up around eight this morning.”

“What time did the boyfriend say he found the victim again?”

“9:15 AM.” He paused. “Hmm, I’ll put in a request for the security footage from Clara’s apartment building. Maybe we can catch him leaving in the night and coming back.”

“Worth a shot.”

Kevin stood back up just as a voice called out through the bullpen.

“Shields, Nolan! In my office.”

Emma groaned. “This should be fun,” she muttered to her partner.

The detectives entered the office of their captain, Tom Hawkins. Hawkins was a good captain; smart, dependable, experienced, and he was kind most of the time but when he wasn’t…one did not want to be on the receiving side of his wrath. Emma had learned a lot from him over the years. She really hoped this wasn’t one of those angry talks.

Hawkins jumped right into it as soon as Kevin shut the door to the office behind him.

“I just got a phone call from the Queens station. They’re wanting to know if you have any leads on the Mullins murder.” Emma and Kevin shared a glance.

“Not yet, sir,” Emma answered. “Dr. Oliver said she died by strangulation. He’s performing the autopsy now and the lab techs are running tests.”

“The boyfriend has an alibi,” Kevin jumped in. “But I’m checking on it. And we have officers getting statements from the neighbors.”

Captain Hawkins nodded as he listened. He stared out of the window once they were done, collecting his thoughts. “It appears,” he began. “that there have been similar murders across the boroughs.”

“What do you mean similar murders, sir?” Kevin asked.

“Emily Mullins had dark hair, yes?” he inquired, still staring out the window.

Kevin furrowed his brow. “Yes.”

Hawkins was quiet, and then, “Four other women have been murdered,” he revealed. “All with dark hair.”

Four?

Ice crawled into Emma’s veins. Time stopped.

“Sir,” she cleared her throat as it had gotten weak. “Sir, are you saying that we have a serial killer?”

Hawkins turned to them. His eyes were steady, but heavy with emotion. “We very well might.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So...this may or may not be a multi-chapter fic that is in progress...Do you guys mind?

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos and comments always appreciated! I'll update as quick as I can. Peace.


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